Why Are Many Straight Women Attracted to Gay Men?

[dgirl1986]

Maybe because they're straight and gay men are still men.

Good point

 

[Father Heathen]

Why do you suppose many straight women are attracted to gay men?

I'm guessing that gay men are perceived as being more receptive, understanding and relatable regarding emotion. Also, usually presumed to typically share similar interests.

 

[Erebus]

Why do you suppose many straight women are attracted to gay men?

I've often wondered if the attraction to gay or metrosexual men (straight men who look and act like stereotypical gay men) might be similar to why some guys like tom-boyish girls ... familiarity. It's somebody of the opposite gender who acts in a manner you already know and understand.

This is just generalization of course.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Closely-related but; the question of this thread reminds me of a time when my sister's friend (who is a girl and had a boyfriend at the time that was there with us) named Katrina said, "Why are all hot guys gay". Her boyfriend was like, "Whaaat..." and we were laughing, she corrected herself: "I mean, why are all gay guys hot" lol.

 

[Klerkie]

Because some gay men are damn attractive. Of course so are some straight men.

 

[illykitty]

Some men are just attractive, regardless if they're gay or not.

I certainly understand the physical attraction! But personally, that's as far as it goes. Reason: In some cases, gay men have similar interests as a lot of women (fashion, makeup, etc.). I dislike those things, find it too materialistic and superficial.

I assume that's what makes some women wish they weren't gay!

 

[Wirey]

Because some gay men are damn attractive. Of course so are some straight men.

You're welcome. I can't help it.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I don't know. But some gay men are very handsome and very attractive. A few years ago I knew this one gay guy who was just absolutely adorable, very pretty and fair and fine and skin and long black hair, and he was just soo cute at a Halloween party wearing a cat ears headband.
And then there is their mentality. With some gay men it seems they have the best features of men and women in one package. It's someone who is sensitive, emotional, well dressed, fun to be around, and doesn't hit on you, doesn't try and get you in bed, and someone who doesn't hate you behind your back and hope you choke and die.

Some women think they can "convert" a gay man, especially particularly attractive gay men. It's called the curse of the pink wand. When it's not that, some women feel more comfortable around gay men as friends. They know that if a gay man is paying her a compliment, it's genuine and not a come-on.

I didn't know there was a term for this. Is it the blue wand when a guy thinks he can convert a lesbian?

Furthermore I've known gay men who dispelled the myth that gay men are more organized, cleaner, or better dressers.

That is a very good point. While they seem to be far fewer in number than heterosexual men, some gay men are very misogynistic. But then there are some that it seems as if they and women are meant to be good friends.

 

[Penumbra]

Why do you suppose many straight women are attracted to gay men?

Attracted in what way?

The gay men I've had/have as friends were kind of like having girlfriends. There were some interests in common, like clothes and shoes as an example. Now there are of course a lot of gay men that don't have any culturally feminine interests at all, but the ones I knew generally did to a certain extent.

So when I say they were like having "girlfriends" it's not to say they were just like a girl, but rather I kind of viewed them in the same category of friends- a "safe" or "platonic" category. It's easier to be open, you can hang out with them without sexual tension, without them hitting on you, without anyone's partner raising an eyebrow, etc. I can compliment them without them thinking I'm hitting on them. There's little risk of unrequited desire if the man is gay and if the woman knows that there's just no chance, 'cause he's gay.

So it can be like the positives of having a guy friend without some of the potential negatives. I have a lot of straight guy friends too with no issues, but the point is if they're gay, then that eliminates one potential hurdle. For many straight women and men that are friends it seems that there is an emotional "distance" between them that doesn't exist between female friends or male friends, especially if one or both of them is in a monogamous relationship.

For example, I have a lot of male co-workers (being an engineer) and also have many interests that are sometimes more along the male side of things, so a few times per month a lot of us kind of hang out together at one of their places after work. People bring food, beer, movies, games. I'm usually the only woman there, and I'm kind of "one of the guys". However, if one of them were to invite me specifically to hang out at his place alone, then that would have the potential for awkwardness. Hanging out with a gay guy one-on-one wouldn't give me a second thought at all, though. Because he's in the 'other category'.

On the other hand, I do have a friend that is really sexually attracted to gay guys. I don't know why she is, but I guess she kind of has a kink for it. Kind of like how for some guys, the concept of lesbians turns them on, or seeing women with each other turns them on. So she's the same way I guess.