Why are people mean?

[Chisti]

Don't have a job or gf? You're a loser.
Can't compete, too soft? You're a loser.
Put simply, you aren't successful, wealthy, charming, and sociable. Yup, you're a loser.

Fine, even if you're a loser, it is still only the loser who needs more compassion than the winner. Isn't that obvious? If you have no money or friends or good job, in short you have nothing going for you, surely you deserve more sympathy than those who have all these things.

Yet people do the exact opposite - they mock you when they ought to be holding your hands. They judge you when they ought to be sympathizing with you. And the funny thing is, these people (the ones who mock you) sympathize with some rich celebrity who probably doesn't care they exist. They cry for some stupid celebrity that has the common cold, yet they mock the little guy who really needs a lot of support and sympathy.

Why? Why are people so mean, especially those who call themselves civilized and educated?

 

[angellous_evangellous]

[youtube]-l3_gwIOTGI[/youtube]
YouTube - Beck - Loser (Live 2003)

 

[Morpheus]

The answer to your question is, in short: hurting people hurt people.

 

[*Anne*]

Fortunately, not everyone is like that.

I think if a culture values compassion, its people will be more likely to behave compassionately. I don't know about your culture, but mine doesn't seem to place as much value on compassion and kindness as I'd like it to (heh...I say this after I commented on cursing someone in another thread ).

 

[Madhuri]

It's simple part of human nature- survival.
It's also a result of people lacking confidence and self-awareness. We put other people down to feel better about ourselves.

Survival is pretty much a neat summary. But to give an example, people often become violent when presented with a threat. Fanaticism is in fact often a response to the feeling of threat.

 

[sandandfoam]

It's simple part of human nature- survival.

I simply do not accept this line.
It is almost dogma but it needs to be split apart. By nature people are in the main wonderful. People are generally kind, considerate, trustworthy and pleasant.
I do not accept that lurking beneath the surface of an average human lies a monster. It is a useful way to have us thinking for those who would (and sadly do) control our world. They build and capitalise on our fears.
I reject their scary version/vision of humanity.

 

[Madhuri]

I simply do not accept this line.
It is almost dogma but it needs to be split apart. By nature people are in the main wonderful. People are generally kind, considerate, trustworthy and pleasant.
I do not accept that lurking beneath the surface of an average human lies a monster. It is a useful way to have us thinking for those who would (and sadly do) control our world. They build and capitalise on our fears.
I reject their scary version/vision of humanity.

Fair enough. But it is my observation and makes sense to me.
But I think these primitive aspects of human nature are gradually overcome through personal development, self-awareness and maturity. Aggression comes from a lack of these, hence why suffering is caused by ignorance.

 

[Morpheus]

I choose to believe human nature is fundamentally pure, like a perfect mirror, but the mirror is is coated with dust which prevents is from reflecting the light of God. Our job in this life is to clean our mirror from this dust. The dust of a heedless society is everywhere but we have a choice as to whether keep our mirror clean or allow dust to accumulate through disdain and apathy.

 

[AfterGlow]

Having no money or social life doesn't make you a loser, lacking integrity, compassion and wisdom make you a loser.

People who mock others in general do so because they feel inadequate to some degree, by pushing others down they make themselves feel greater, more important by comparison. What they don't realise is that in mocking another they are only succeeding in demonstrating how weak and pitiable their own character really is.

 

[Madhuri]

Having no money or social life doesn't make you a loser, lacking integrity, compassion and wisdom make you a loser.

People who mock others in general do so because they feel inadequate to some degree, by pushing others down they make themselves feel greater, more important by comparison. What they don't realise is that in mocking another they are only succeeding in demonstrating how weak and pitiable their own character really is.

It's like they say, when you point one finger, there are three more pointing at yourself.

 

[blackout]

AE totally beat me.



I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me.

 

[Chisti]

I think these are aspects of western culture, but since the east is busy mimicking it, most of the world is now more or less the same - worship the rich and abuse the poor. And when such attitude pervades our personal lives, we pick on 'losers' and feel good about ourselves.

 

[Madhuri]

I think these are aspects of western culture, but since the east is busy mimicking it, most of the world is now more or less the same - worship the rich and abuse the poor. And when such attitude pervades our personal lives, we pick on 'losers' and feel good about ourselves.

Oh, you don't believe that mean people existed in the East? What an interesting idea, maybe you could provide some logical argument to back that up?

 

[Chisti]

Oh, you don't believe that mean people existed in the East? What an interesting idea, maybe you could provide some logical argument to back that up?

You misunderstood - I didn't say there were no mean people in the east. Just that it wasn't cultural. Individuals were mean, yes, but it wasn't part of culture.

 

[Quagmire]

Don't have a job or gf? You're a loser.
Can't compete, too soft? You're a loser.
Put simply, you aren't successful, wealthy, charming, and sociable. Yup, you're a loser.

Fine, even if you're a loser, it is still only the loser who needs more compassion than the winner. Isn't that obvious? If you have no money or friends or good job, in short you have nothing going for you, surely you deserve more sympathy than those who have all these things.

Yet people do the exact opposite - they mock you when they ought to be holding your hands. They judge you when they ought to be sympathizing with you. And the funny thing is, these people (the ones who mock you) sympathize with some rich celebrity who probably doesn't care they exist. They cry for some stupid celebrity that has the common cold, yet they mock the little guy who really needs a lot of support and sympathy.

Why? Why are people so mean, especially those who call themselves civilized and educated?

Maybe, in their own way, they're trying to help you get past needing a lot of support and sympathy.

 

[Chisti]

Maybe, in their own way, they're trying to help you get past needing a lot of support and sympathy.

If they are, they're doing a bad job.

 

[jimmy button]

I think that most people see their neighbors as different from themselves. People generally are segregated at least in their conception of one another. I'm a democrat you're a republican. I wear this kind of clothing, you wear this kind. All this defines the preconceived notions you have about somebody before you even speak to them. It's not man's fault though for doing this, please don't think that. Man is a product of his environment and if you are raised in a society to think this way, then you will. So when people are rude or mean to other people I think it's because they are not aware of reality. They are locked up in games of culture that define who they are, they are not free. So when someone makes fun of you or is mean to you I think you should feel sorry for THEM not yourself. :]

Someone above said something along the lines of "ignorance leads to suffering" actually I think it's quite the opposite. Staying away from the possible religious context of the comment I think we are the strangers to earth here. We, people thinking about problems in life are the weirdos or losers as you would say. I would say that ignorance is bliss and those who are ignorant live happier lives if not on a very shallow level. It takes a smart person to turn something simple into something complicated such as we have done in this topic.

Loving it.

 

[Just_me_Mike]

Take the recent disaster in Japan. Many commented how there was no looting and rioting in the streets, like there was in New Orleans when it happened. So then, do we conclude the Japanese are more civilized than those of New Orleans? In some regards, yes they are.
However, in Japan it is very common for women to be treated like slaves, hookers, and on par with animals. Yet, they did not riot and loot during the disaster.

What do we learn from this? Well no one is perfect. Yet if one believes in perfection, or at least claims a definition of perfection and it is agreeable to the majority of both sexes, all colors, and all creeds, it will get us as a people much farther than our current course.\

Hope that made some sense.

 

[AfterGlow]

However, in Japan it is very common for women to be treated like slaves, hookers, and on par with animals.

Erm... what?

 

[Katzpur]

Why? Why are people so mean, especially those who call themselves civilized and educated?

I sincerely believe that people who are mean are that way because of their own insecurities. The only way they can find to build themselves up is to try to demean someone else. I have never met a person who truly feels good about himself who is mean to other people.