Why are Young People so often Certain They can Predict Their Future?

[Sunstone]

Life doesn't run a clear course
It flows through from within
It's supposed to take you places
And leave markings on your skin
And those marks are just a sign
Of something true
You witnessed in your time
Of something new.

"Love will Come Again to You" by Poets of the Fall.


It seems to me that a frequent vice of youth is to more or less be convinced that you know how you will think or feel about things even decades hence, and that you even know how your life will in general develop. But if that's so for so many young people, why is it so?

For instance, over the years, I've heard one young person after another say with (in most cases) nearly absolute conviction something along the lines of "I will never find love", when in fact finding love is something most humans do sooner or later in their lives -- and sometimes do often in their lives. Why, then, are so many young people convinced they know they will never find love?

Why is it so difficult for people (especially it seems, for young people) to grasp in a practical manner that their future is much more a matter of odds or probabilities than it is a matter of certainties? And grasp that they just might lack the experience to fairly estimate many of those odds or probabilities? Is it, perhaps, because we have some kind of emotional need for the false sense of security that the illusion of certainty provides? If so, then why do we have that need?

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

It seems to me that a frequent vice of youth is to more or less be convinced that you know how you will think or feel about things even decades hence, and that you even know how your life will in general develop. But if that's so for so many young people, why is it so?

For instance, over the years, I've heard one young person after another say with (in most cases) nearly absolute conviction something along the lines of "I will never find love", when in fact finding love is something most humans do sooner or later in their lives -- and sometimes do often in their lives. Why, then, are so many young people convinced they know they will never find love?

Why is it so difficult for people (especially it seems, for young people) to grasp in a practical manner that their future is much more a matter of odds or probabilities than it is a matter of certainties? And grasp that they just might lack the experience to fairly estimate many of those odds or probabilities? Is it, perhaps, because we have some kind of emotional need for the false sense of security that the illusion of certainty provides? If so, then why do we have that need?

My guess: lack of experience or a real appreciation of how much time there probably is in their lives (at least in America, more than 50 percent will likely live well past their 70th birthday)

 

[LuisDantas]

I think you are basically correct in your guess late in the OP, Sunstone. Human beings, perhaps most of all when we are young, have a real need of certainty. Even if it takes pretending to get that feeling.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

They just haven't lived long enough to realize such a thing - it probably doesn't help that our society tends to be overly optimistic, to the point of lying, about hard work, doing your best, and being able to be anything you want to be. They are also fortunate enough to have not experienced anything yet that radically alters their life in just a single moment.

 

[Tumah]

Because they haven't lived through enough of their past.

 

[Laika]

young people haven't suffered loss or dissapointment, which generally make you more reflective and less certain about things. age- and awareness of mortality- often brings wisdom though at a price. but honestly, a zealous over-enthuasism for life in all its forms is very attractive and I wouldn't discourage it unless I thought it was specifically involved with something dangerous. they have a right to feel that way. Ignorance is a characteristic of youth but blindness and nieviety are more often conditioned based on dogmatic expectations.

Or we could just do as they do and blame the parents?

Because they haven't lived through enough of their past.

thats a really nice way of putting it, so thanks for that tumah.

 

[BSM1]

Because they haven't lived through enough of their past.

Wish I had said this...good one.

 

[Nietzsche]

Because the alternative is to accept what amounts to an idea of crushing loneliness in a cold, uncaring ***** of a universe. Sometimes people come across it early, but most people reach it eventually.

 

[Quintessence]

I'd be careful about taking what some folks say at face value. Many people - both young and old - have a fancy for the dramatic. Meaning, they will make abundant use of hyperbole and not literally mean "never" when they say never.

 

[ADigitalArtist]

I propose that this maybe isn't as unique to young people as older people think it is. We like to think we've learned a lot and are more grounded but how many times have I heard someone middle-aged or older say 'I will never value x idea/possession less/more' only for it to change in another year or two?

Maybe it has more to do with major life transitions challenging your personal status quo. In which case I'd agree that we tend to have more of those when we're young. But not just when we're young. Seen a lot of grandfolk change their views about homosexuality or transgender when they have a gay or trans grandkid, or views about staying in one line of work until they retire upset by layoffs and the need to re-enter training, or midlife crisis and divorce and loss and new discovery shaking things up.
Nobody of any age can accurately predict the future. And I think some minds are more set or more malleable than others in the same age group, both young and old.

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

Then, too, there's the possibility of setting low goals so they are more likely to be achieved, with resulting happiness when they do...

Of course, there's the old saying, "Youth is wasted on the young."

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

For instance, over the years, I've heard one young person after another say with (in most cases) nearly absolute conviction something along the lines of "I will never find love", when in fact finding love is something most humans do sooner or later in their lives -- and sometimes do often in their lives. Why, then, are so many young people convinced they know they will never find love?

I think it's called self pity/feeling sorry for yourself...

and to be honest, I'm here for it!

I don't even think she likes me back Phil! I'm going to die alone!!!

 

[Buttercup]

Why is it so difficult for people (especially it seems, for young people) to grasp in a practical manner that their future is much more a matter of odds or probabilities than it is a matter of certainties? And grasp that they just might lack the experience to fairly estimate many of those odds or probabilities? Is it, perhaps, because we have some kind of emotional need for the false sense of security that the illusion of certainty provides? If so, then why do we have that need?

New parents learn the basics of child psychology rather quickly in the first few years after the birth of their offspring. Kids are naturally inclined to be security and routine oriented. In fact, I'd say children are the most environmentally conservative beings on the planet, meaning, they don't like change in their home environment because of their desperate need for stability. Kids want to be read the same story night after night. They watch the same Disney movies over and over. A bedtime routine is preferred and kisses and tucks under the sheets are requested every night for years. Certainty and routine are absolutely a necessary component in raising healthy kids.

This desire for security doesn't magically disappear the moment kids turn 18 and go off to college. It takes years of trial and error to find out how far out those security boundaries can be pushed. When those boundaries are stretched for growth, a greater sense of self empowerment and self confidence sets in once they realize they can master a situation that was formerly unknown . During those years, the preference is generally for the known, secure solution to be found. It takes many years of being thrown into situational experiences and coming out the other side successfully to be able to embrace the unknown and be confident they can survive and thrive without boundaries at all.

Of course, some people even as older adults still prefer strict boundaries, but not all do.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

New parents learn the basics of child psychology rather quickly in the first few years after the birth of their offspring. Kids are naturally inclined to be security and routine oriented. In fact, I'd say children are the most environmentally conservative beings on the planet, meaning, they don't like change in their home environment because of their desperate need for stability. Kids want to be read the same story night after night. They watch the same Disney movies over and over. A bedtime routine is preferred and kisses and tucks under the sheets are requested every night for years. Certainty and routine are absolutely a necessary component in raising healthy kids.

This desire for security doesn't magically disappear the moment kids turn 18 and go off to college. It takes years of trial and error to find out how far out those security boundaries can be pushed. When those boundaries are stretched for growth, a greater sense of self empowerment and self confidence sets in once they realize they can master a situation that was formerly unknown . During those years, the preference is generally for the known, secure solution to be found. It takes many years of being thrown into situational experiences and coming out the other side successfully to be able to embrace the unknown and be confident they can survive and thrive without boundaries at all.

Of course, some people even as older adults still prefer strict boundaries, but not all do.

I guess growing up with a complete absence of security and routine is what made me wise beyond my years. Excellent post. Nice to see someone with both insight and common sense. And I'm not just saying that for the nookie.