Atheism Was An “Error”: English Professor & Atheist Mark Bauerlein Converts to
Christianity
By
James Bishop
-
March 8, 2017
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By
James Bishop| Mark Bauerlein is an English professor at Emory University, Atlanta, USA, and is the senior editor of First Things journal (1). He also serves, in addition, as a Visitor of Ralston College which is a new liberal arts college in Savannah.
Apart from his scholarly work, he publishes in popular periodicals such as
Chronicle of Higher Education,
The Washington Post,
The Wall Street Journal, The Weekly Standard, and
The Times Literary Supplement (2).
His latest book
The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes Our Future was published in May 2008. He recently co-edited a collection of essays entitled
The State of the American Mind: 16 Leading Critics on the New Anti-Intellectualism published in 2015.
In his 30 years as a professor “
of graduate seminars, academic conferences, committee meetings, lunches and dinners, and conversations short and long,” Bauerlein explains that he has “
heard God mentioned rarely, and when he is mentioned he is never talked of in a way that assumes his reality.”
This didn’t bug him much at the time for he was himself an atheist who did not believe in God, “
God was gone, utterly, and so was all spirit and meaning and moral value. If anybody had passed at that moment and casually remarked upon the morning with the slightest hint that it had a moral or metaphysical meaning, I would have answered, “That’s a lie.”” (3)
Bauerlein felt that his atheism was never out of place in the academic world, “
Never did I feel out of place in my unbelief, and so, as the semesters passed, the roguish aspect of my atheism diminished. No more shock over the fact of mortality and no more self-promotion into an elite band of thinkers and seers, just an occasional shiver when alone and undistracted, plus a routine conviction that I was more educated and clear-sighted than ordinary people.”
Though Bauerlein was comfortable in his atheism, and certainly as an atheist who viewed religious belief as a delusion, he didn’t possess the vitriolic anti-religious mindset that some fellow atheists did, “
I never regarded religion as evil or sought to disabuse the faithful.”
However, if he felt his atheism was challenged from a Christian it would still “
easily spark a contemptuous response. I might admire the conviction of the believer and the good deeds of the church, and crisis-of-faith stories still had their appeal, but faith lay on the other side of a mental wall.”
This was because as a comfortable atheist he “
didn’t sense the existence of God, and so I couldn’t understand the motive for religious expression as anything but ideological or subjective… I couldn’t reify God or contemplate God, not even from a skeptical distance. God was just a token abstraction.”
But there was a moment in Bauerlein’s life in which he admits having hope in God. He would stare out of his window at night and pray to God for help but he felt nothing ever materialized in response to his prayers, “
though he hadn’t done anything for me. From that day onward, his being didn’t matter.”
From that day forth Bauerlein, expecting tension within his closer circles, hid his atheism from his peers and family, “
In the subsequent weeks I walked around in a daze. I didn’t tell anybody about it, not even my identical twin brother, but went through my routines as before. I had a truth in hand: God is gone, and indeed never was.”
As an atheist Bauerlein had a keen interest for history and before class he would go down to the library to pore over the “
Great Books of the Western World.” This led him to some prolific writers and thinkers of the likes of Aristotle, Dante, Bacon, Shakespeare, Rousseau, and many others. However, he was particularly fond of two well-known writers, Sigmund Freud and Friedrich Nietzsche, both of whom were atheists that vehemently opposed religion as well as belief in God,
“
Most important to me was Freud—not his diagnosis of religious belief as an infantile longing but his list of defense mechanisms (sublimation, projection, reaction formation among them). They gave me tools to interpret every religious, altruistic, and in any way ideal assertion or action by others as merely a tactic of ego.”
These writers had convinced him at the time that “
Moral and supernatural thoughts and words were just false and phony masks covering narcissism and fear. That believers would dress up their selfishness in grand and high-minded objects only worsened their dissembling. I laughed at the notion of a God who actually cared about me or anyone else. Against the prayers and hopes of the faithful I set a steely nihilism held with the ferocity of a late adolescent who has suddenly discovered the hypocrisy of his elders.”