I don't think you're making up these ideas. I have no good reason to doubt the account though. I did do some research on this, and believe it or not, here's what I think is a reasonable explanation as to why no vipers are currently found on Malta: Big changes have taken place since the first century C.E. Malta is now one of the most densely populated countries in the world whereas extensive wooded areas may have existed there in Paul’s time. Therefore the population increase would have had a definite effect on the wildlife. This could certainly have caused all vipers to disappear, as was the case in Arran, an island off the SW coast of Scotland. As late as 1853, however, a viper is reported to have been seen near St. Paul’s Bay.
Oh, I believe there's more than one possible
explanation for there being no vipers, or else
being vipers. Some say it was some other island.
Hong Kong is noted for dense population,
but on HK island, heaviest population,
there are king cobras, Chinese cobras,
other venemous snakes and pythons.
Malta has several extant snakes species.
A little mote research on your part
and you would have noticed that, plus
that there actually is one venemous
snake on Malts!
But sure...possible there were vipers back
then but not now.
Still, its the combo of several implausible items
that make for a fishy story, dont you think so?
Sure, dog could have eaten homework.
If the story requires a specially trained
anti homework dog though, plus some more
dubious details...
Lets see what else does not add up.
Gathering sticks.
I doubt I would mistake a snake for a stick, but
possible. Mistaking it for a stick after I touched
it? Not noticing it is wriggling or hanging limp?
So unsticklike. So hard not to notice.
Vipers tend to bite. For some reason this one
didnt. Possible but..we'd guess you or anyone
would not care to gamble the odds.
So he gathers the snake and some more sticks
all in a bundle, snake still doesn't bite.
This would be quite a show if someone needed
to re enact it in court.
Snake holds still doesn't crawl out and drop to the ground. Possible but the unlikely.
Anti homework dog sneaked in and hid under
the bed, was never actually seen.
Anyway, snake behaves nively till everyone can see.
Then, it does something completely out of character,
which is, it
fastens on his hand!
A viper bite is so quick you just see a flicker.
of movement. ( I have seen it lots of times)
You dont see the bite at all.
They do not fasten. Horses dont get up
back end first.
So.
Whats with that?
Next, Paul thrashes the snake about,
and into the fire.
Now, you may have been around snakes.
Youve seen how people got hysterical,
how so few know one from another.
How people believr things like
" three srep" that being how far
you get after a bite.
A viper bite would sting but serious
symptoms are slow developing.
Our spectators are identified as ignorant
and superstitious, are they not?
They clearly dont know the actual effect of viper bite!
Yet they all correctly identify a viprr being thrashed about in the rain, behaving in an unprecedented way. And figure something is up because
something impossible does not happen!
IF "Paul" actually managed a public snake bite,
it was not by a viper.
No matter, the rubes would be just as
impressed by a harmless one.
Paul would not be real likely to know what
a viper waved about in the rain looks like either.
Whaddya think of that?