Why do you fear?

[cfer]

Fears and worries are the result of contemplating the unknown.

I would have to agree with that. What I think we all fear (those of us who have fears) is that which is unknown. And also the knowledge that we might not be able to control what is unknown, too.

A fear of heights? It might be because you fear you will fall.

A fear of sharks? It very well could be more that they'll attack you and hurt you.

A fear of centipedes and millipedes. Again, you can't control when they show up or where they show up.

I think a lot of fears are based on the possibility that you can get severely injured and feel a great amount of pain, and no one likes to feel pain. Or even worse, that you could die with lots of things unfinished -- things like raising your family, seeing your children grow up and have families of their own; not being able to be there for your spouse while s/he grieves; not graduating from high school or college; not getting overseas to see new lands; etc. etc.

That's why I think we, as humans, fear. Because we cannot control the unknown that is about to happen. And so we fear it.

 

[Snowbear]

What are you afraid of. The rational fear that sits in your belly eating your confidence, destroying your concentration, worrying your mind.

Failure.

Facing it to overcome it doesn't work. I often fail and each time it makes me more afraid of failing the next time.
Makes me less and less likely to start something since I'm afraid I won't be good enough, which is in itself a form of failure...

 

[ChrisP]

Failure.

Facing it to overcome it doesn't work. I often fail and each time it makes me more afraid of failing the next time.
Makes me less and less likely to start something since I'm afraid I won't be good enough, which is in itself a form of failure...

Hi Stew, I think you should change your name. It just doesn't seem a very happy one.

Regarding failure I have 2 quotes that have helped me:

First Lao Tzu

41. Following
When the great man learns the Way, he follows it with diligence;
When the common man learns the Way, he follows it on occasion;
When the mean man learns the Way, he laughs out loud;
Those who do not laugh, do not learn at all.

Therefore it is said:
Who understands the Way seems foolish;
Who progresses on the Way seems to fail;
Who follows the Way seems to wander.

For the finest harmony appears plain;
The brightest truth appears coloured;
The richest character appears incomplete;
The bravest heart appears meek;
The simplest nature appears inconstant.

The square, perfected, has no corner;
Music, perfected, has no melody;
Love, perfected, has no climax;
Art, perfected, has no meaning.

The Way can be neither sensed nor known:
It transmits sensation and transcends knowledge.

Then there is the Great Lemmy of Motorhead:



If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man,

You win some, lose some, all the same to me,

The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say,

I don't share your greed, the only card I need is

The Ace Of Spades
​

 

[ChrisP]

Also Lao Tzu upon fear

All the world says,
"I am important;
I am separate from all the world.
I am important because I am separate,
Were I the same, I could never be important."

Yet here are three treasures
That I cherish and commend to you:
The first is compassion,
By which one finds courage.
The second is restraint,
By which one finds strength.
And the third is unimportance,
By which one finds influence.

Those who are fearless, but without compassion,
Powerful, but without restraint,
Or influential, yet important,
Cannot endure.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

lol I'm not afraid of death either. Really, I can't figure out what there is to be afraid of. What's the point?

One theory on fear, I got this out of a psychology text book, is that all fears and phobias are irrational.

 

[Pardus]

The things we fear the most are things that have already happened to us.

 

[ALifetimeToWaitFor...]

Im afraid of ending my quest for the truth. Not trying to break through the next wall...

 

[ChrisP]

It's fun to read your old threads . Any newer folk around might consider the OP.

I'm NOT asking any of the following:
- Why is there fear,
- What causes fear (in General)
- How fear began
- How your religion explains fear
- What are your phobias

I AM asking:

What are you afraid of. The rational fear that sits in your belly eating your confidence, destroying your concentration, worrying your mind.

Ask yourself:

Why in your heart you are afraid.

A response is not necessary, just consider it truthfully, do not fool yourself.

 

[kadzbiz]

The things we fear the most are things that have already happened to us.

.....or to others

 

[McBell]

Heights. Sacred of HEIGHTS.... oooo.. sacred me.. those letters where to tall. I know it's a phobia, but it's all that really bothers me. If I know I got to cross a tall bridge, I will ride in the middle. If I know I got to fly, it worries me for days. will make sure I sit in the middle. Not much else bothers me.

I'm not afraid of heights.
I'm not even afraid of falling.
Now that sudden stop at the end, that spooks the bejesus out of me.

The things we fear the most are things that have already happened to us.

.....or to others

Agreed.

I think my biggest fear is not knowing.

 

[Seven]

After a lot of brutally honest thinking ...
I'm afraid of other people and of losing my intelligence.
(wow, these must actually be my deepest fears because I'm finding it quiet hard to post them!)

 

[Katzpur]

I am deathly afraid of spiders. It doesn't matter how small they are or how easily I could squash them, I am scared to death of them. I'm also moderately afraid of a lot of insects, especially flying ones. That includes moths, and sometimes even butterflies! I'm not afraid of snakes, rodents or reptiles, though. I guess you could just say I'm afraid of anything with more than four legs.

I'm afraid of the dark when I'm outside and not in a familiar environment. Driving down a lonely, unlit road after dark terrifies me. I get a kind of a surreal fear, like the road leads nowhere and that if I keep on it, I will eventually just disappear into oblivion.

I'm afraid of large bodies of deep water. This is a more rational fear since I'm not a strong swimmer. I'm okay in a swimming pool or a more shallow natural body of water, but the ocean (as much as I'm mesmerized by it and love looking at it) really makes me nervous. When I'm in very deep water, I get really afraid of drowning and my body sinking to depths where it will never be found.

Hmmm. Reading my last two paragraphs, I bet a shrink would have a heyday with what appears to be a fear of disappearing from off the face of the earth.

 

[kadzbiz]

They say we attract what we fear, hence I try to fear nothing myself.

 

[Twilight Hue]

I fear, fear. I know its cliche but it holds so true for the large part. -NM-

 

[Makaveli]

My constant fear is that I will be completely forgotten, surpassing my fear of death. On top of that, I fear even more that, when I lie dying, I will have lived a completely unfulfilled life.

I've got at least sixty years before I have to confront these head on though, so I suppose I've got something of a headstart . These fears underlie my desire for excellence in everything, so that one day people will remember who I am, and what I did, at least for a time.

 

[zenzero]

Friend ChrisP,

I AM asking:

What are you afraid of. The rational fear that sits in your belly eating your confidence, destroying your concentration, worrying your mind.

Ask yourself:

Why in your heart you are afraid.

A response is not necessary, just consider it truthfully, do not fool yourself.
__________________

Sorry finf nothing to fear as in the past DEATH was a cause but now know that there is no death as such it is simply a transformation of energy from one form to another.

Love & rgds

 

[stacey bo bacey]

My feelings of self-inadequacy always induce my fears. (Well, my fears that aren't death, darkness or spiders)

 

[ChrisP]

Still think this is a great topic for consideration. So many people I meet are controlled by their fear at times, myself included.

Consider your real true fears that reside in the part of you that you hide from, or perhaps hide from yourself. There is no need to post them. Just consider why you are afraid and maybe reconcile with those fears if you can.

I'm NOT asking any of the following:
- Why is there fear,
- What causes fear (in General)
- How fear began
- How your religion explains fear
- What are your phobias

I AM asking:

What are you afraid of. The rational fear that sits in your belly eating your confidence, destroying your concentration, worrying your mind.

Ask yourself:

Why in your heart you are afraid.

A response is not necessary, just consider it truthfully, do not fool yourself.

 

[Penumbra]

I don't think I really hide from any of my fears.

I fear certain things, but they can be deconstructed down to:
-Lack of control
-Injury and/or unbearable amounts of pain
-Things I find disgusting, like spiders