Why Is Happiness So Often Elusive?

[Terrywoodenpic]

Happiness and unhappiness are the fruits of expectations.

Happy people are satisfied with their lot.

 

[capslockf9]

Perhaps because that is its nature.

Happiness is not elusive. A deer is elusive. It will hide from you. Otherwise the deer would be all over your face screaming and yelling. Im right here. I'm right here don't you see me, I'm right here.

Instead we look at our new car and say; Man I sure am happy with my new car. We look in the wrong place.

 

[Buttons*]

conditional love is momentary. Most people love family, god and country ; and that is where their love stops. (If that is where it stop then it is not love.) Most people give love ; only if some of their desires and /or wants are being met. This kind of "love" is a egotistical survival tactic.

........... I was talking about emotions, not love towards anyone or anything. Either way, it's all conditional, people die.... and then they can't love anymore can they?

My point was this: It's ultimately pointless to dissect human emotion and ask why emotions are fleeting. It's because people exist and circumstances change, and eventually people experience all facets of emotion that's available to them. Nothing lasts forever - unless you believe in that sort of thing. In any case, I think it's good to understand where your emotions come from, most certainly! The issue I have is misunderstanding that I feel has been represented here.

Why is happiness fleeting? Because we're human.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Happiness is like the Unknown God: the more we pursue it, the further we spiral away until we realize that we are just focusing on a reflection and that distance is irrelevant.

 

[PureX]

Happiness is not elusive. We can choose how we feel. Simply choose to be happy and you will be happy.

 

[Cynic]

From a biological perspective, I would say that happiness is part of a reward system that would become ineffective if it wasn't so fleeting. We wouldn't strive for much (i.e. to see our loved ones, to engage in a new and exciting romance, etc). Pleasure/pain is what motives organisms to do things. Happiness is a natural, positive reinforcer for behaviors that are conducive to survivability. If we were constantly happy, it would no longer be an effective positive reinforcer.

I'm going to expand on my previous reply...

A reward (in this case happiness) must be combined with a desired behavior in order for it to be effective.

For an analogy, think of parent parenting a child.

If a parent keeps giving his/her child cookies, let's say cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, a cookie will be a very ineffective positive reinforcer. "Here little Johnny, if you behave, I'll give you a cookie." There's no point (in little Johnny's mind) since he gets cookies all the time anyways. He does not need to behave in order to get a cookie.

IMHO, If we were truly in a state of constant euphoria or excitement, there would be little need or inclination to perform naturally rewarding behaviors. We wouldn't tell jokes, we wouldn't seek affection and attention, we wouldn't have sex, etc.

If you felt constantly full, even though your stomach was empty, you wouldn't eat. The euphorias rewarding all our drives comes and goes... Mission accomplished, goodbye...

Also there is the psychological phenomenon of habituation. Our brains are wired to pay more attention to new and unpredictable stimuli. Constant exposure to the same stimuli (like a song we love) becomes less rewarding over time. We simply become bored of the same song, then move on. When I used to make my own dance tracks, I often suffered from listening fatigue, which happens when you are exposed to music over a long period of time. All music loses it's emotional appeal. You no longer feel that spine tingle during the chorus of a song. In fact, you lose our ability to make the distinction between a good song and a bad one. This phenomenon also applies to other aspects of our lives. After a while, we stop laughing at the same jokes. During marriage, the flame seems to die down over time.

The fleeting part IMHO, is quite... Natural.

Consider this article by Michael Wiederman on "Why It's So Hard to Be Happy," in the February 2007 issue of Scientific American Mind (pg 36-43)

"Thanks for the Inheritance
When evolutionary psychologists notice a universal aspect of how people perceive the world, they make an assumption: that slice of human nature must have been adaptive for our distant ancestors. During our long evolutionary history, we passed certain characteristics to the next generation when the individuals who possessed them were more likely to survive and have offspring. Other ways of reacting to the world were weeded out, because the individuals who possessed brains wired to respond in those ways were less likely to survive or have offspring. What does natural selection have to do with happiness? We humans have inherited a remarkable capacity to habituate to, or become accustomed to, the status quo. Habituation is wonderfully adaptive when we are faced with adverse conditions, such as chronic noise or a permanent disability. After a while, we may no longer even notice these unpleasant circumstances. Unfortunately, habituation applies to positive aspects of our lives as well. No matter how pleasant an experience is at first, if it becomes a constant, we habituate to it.
We have also inherited a tendency to notice the negative more readily than the positive. Those early Homo sapiens who were most sensitive to negative changes in the environment were probably most likely to survive, because negative changes may have signaled danger. Like our distant relatives, we, too, have brains that are wired to notice trouble. So the natural human condition is to take positive experiences for granted and to focus on the bothersome aspects of life. Last, one other aspect of human nature helps to prevent us from being satisfied: that little voice inside our head that often convinces us that our life would be better if only we possessed or accomplished something else. It is easy to see how early humans who were never quite satisfied would have had an advantage over their more easily satisfied peers. That nagging voice of dissatisfaction would have prompted our ancestors to strive for a bit more and then a bit more after that."

The article also goes into depth about concepts such as "flow" and how there is little to no correlation between wealth and happiness.

 

[capslockf9]

I'm going to expand on my previous reply...

A reward (in this case happiness) must be combined with a desired behavior in order for it to be effective.

For an analogy, think of parent parenting a child.

If a parent keeps giving his/her child cookies, let's say cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, a cookie will be a very ineffective positive reinforcer. "Here little Johnny, if you behave, I'll give you a cookie." There's no point (in little Johnny's mind) since he gets cookies all the time anyways. He does not need to behave in order to get a cookie.

IMHO, If we were truly in a state of constant euphoria or excitement, there would be little need or inclination to perform naturally rewarding behaviors. We wouldn't tell jokes, we wouldn't seek affection and attention, we wouldn't have sex, etc.

If you felt constantly full, even though your stomach was empty, you wouldn't eat. The euphorias rewarding all our drives comes and goes... Mission accomplished, goodbye...

Also there is the psychological phenomenon of habituation. Our brains are wired to pay more attention to new and unpredictable stimuli. Constant exposure to the same stimuli (like a song we love) becomes less rewarding over time. We simply become bored of the same song, then move on. When I used to make my own dance tracks, I often suffered from listening fatigue, which happens when you are exposed to music over a long period of time. All music loses it's emotional appeal. You no longer feel that spine tingle during the chorus of a song. In fact, you lose our ability to make the distinction between a good song and a bad one. This phenomenon also applies to other aspects of our lives. After a while, we stop laughing at the same jokes. During marriage, the flame seems to die down over time.

The fleeting part IMHO, is quite... Natural.

Consider this article by Michael Wiederman on "Why It's So Hard to Be Happy," in the February 2007 issue of Scientific American Mind (pg 36-43)



The article also goes into depth about concepts such as "flow" and how there is little to no correlation between wealth and happiness.

Part of the article seem to say that happiness in inherited. And that happy tribes are more successfull. I say happy people aquire more as a result of that outlook . The article says that if one is economicly wealth his ancestor were grouches. Grumpy people can get as much as happy people and it is not because of their genes.

 

[Mr. Hair]

Why is happiness so often elusive? Why is it so often fleeting?

Because it is often sought.

 

[Hope]

Happiness is elusive because it is based on temporary things.

Joy is superior to happiness. It goes much deeper. And joy is not elusive, because it is not based on temporary things. Joy comes from deep within, and is totally independent of circumstances, possessions, etc. In my life I've found that my one constant source of joy is my relationship with God. Even when everything in my life is falling apart (as it has been lately), and happiness is elusive, this joy deep within my spirit remains. :cloud9:

I've also witnessed this joy in others.....most tellingly in those who have virtually nothing, or are going through intense trials. Contrasting their joy with the unhappiness of so many who outwardly have everything they could want is quite enlightening.

 

[Pariah]

Happiness is elusive because we keep looking for it.

 

[Papersock]

Why is happiness so often elusive? Why is it so often fleeting?

Because we can't always get what we want and we can't always like what we get.
One cannot be happy all the time. Bad things are bound to happen.