I'll answer the original question.
I was atheist for most of my life but retained a interest in religious belief that was more than one might expect in someone who believes there is no god/s. I would enter into discussions with believers, and spent a lot of time on forums like this once that became available. I just couldn't leave the subject alone. My question for individual believers was always "Why do you believe?".
An analogy that has occurred to me goes like this. It was as if I was standing on a cliff looking down on a crowd of people that were moving around in all directions and doing various things. When asked they would say that they were swimming in an ocean, but no matter how hard I tried I could see no ocean. It seemed to me that the people were deluded, but why did they keep moving around and doing things? I had to know.
Then something happened that caused me to come down from the cliff and actually experience the ocean. To leave the analogy behind, I had a religious experience that convinced me that there was "something" that might relate to what believers were on about. For some time I pursued it, not by accepting any particular established belief, but by investigation, one step at a time. This went well for a while.
Then it all faded away. I no longer felt any presence, received no guidance and had no desire to attend church services. In addition, a dear friend who trusted in "god" was badly let down by doing something we both believed to be guided by "god".
I have now returned to a form of atheism, but with a difference. I no longer feel compelled to find the truth in religion, and instead have a great mental peace over the whole thing. I have entered the "ocean", found that there is nothing there for me and I am content with that.
Can I explain what happened to me? The most I can say is that I have discovered just how powerful is the human mind's ability to construct a delusion if it wants it badly enough.
One question remains. Why do I come here? Not to find god, certainly, or to re-examine my own beliefs. I just enjoy debate. I think that's all.