I never denied atheism, because i was an atheist.
And for a long time too, active as well.
But yeah, i think that if you saw what i saw.
Witnessed what i witnessed.
Felt what i felt.
You would betray yourself by remaining atheist.
I was not driven towards faith by my heart or desire.
I was not taught to believe in God at home or in school.
I was not curious as to what is faith or religion, it was not relevant.
I did not want to know any secret of anything.
No thirst for hidden knowledge, i longed not for happiness either.
I was an atheist, there was no God for me, no soul, no spirit.
But i was commanded to believe in God.
And like a true atheist, i denied this and then i was shown.
Again and again, until i could not deny, for i would be a liar (Towards myself)
And i am not talking about the subconcious mind.
Or meditation, praying or any explanation, lucid dream, vision, none of that.
I read no holy book, had not knowledge of dharma, no knowledge about religion,
but i was shown by someone.
And so i said to him: "Why the bible, why any of these books,
modern man and modern science knows a thousand times more now than what
the people of the bible back then knew about anything."
And the reply was "The elder have so more knowledge than you can ever imagine about
science, about mankind, He is our creator, you and me, He is science."
And so i said: "But what has this to do with me, why do i need this is my life, how can
the elder knowledge help me if i do not know any of it, how can i know for certain that we
are created?" And then he drew his sword and held it above my head and i got scared.
"Daniël, you have fallen astray from your path and so i keep above your head now: "The sword
of righteousness". Would you deny any of the favors that the Lord has granted you, would
you deny any of the miracles that the Lord has blessed you with, know that by denying that all and
my existence you shall be labelled as a betrayer and a liar, towards yourself."
"But why does the Lord want me to believe in Him? What difference does it make?"
"The Lord knows of many things and I was send by Him to intervene with you, do
not question why or how; for what the Lord does, the Lord does and it is not known to
anyone."
And then he went away, and i grabbed the bible and opened it, close my eyes and place my finger, write down the verse and read it later and i would do this again and again:
For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. (Romans 15:4) But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined, so that we may not be condemned along with the world. (Coritheans 11:32) A wise son listens to his father's instructions, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. (Proverbs 13:1) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3-5) Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (James 4:8) A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot. (Proverbs 14:30) And He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. (Collosians 1-17) No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. (Matthew 6:24) Whoever loves pleasure will become poor; whoever loves wine and olive oil will never be rich. (Proverbs 21:17) For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. (Romans 8:6) For “All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass.The grass withers,and the flower falls,but the word of the Lord remains forever.” And this word is the good news that was preached to you. (Peter 1:24) Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it. (Thessalonians 5:23) God is not man, that he should lie,or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it? (Numbers 23-19) He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8) Better is open rebuke
than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. (Proverbs 27:5) “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20-29) “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6-34) and this is the day that the Lord has made;let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118-24) be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. (Ephesians 6-10) for where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them. (Matthew 18:20)