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Why "Tell All"?
- Thread starter Sunstone
- Start date
Kilgore Trout
Misanthropic Humanist
In order to assuage your guilt, while at the same time hurting your partner emotionally, all under the guise of "honesty."
AlsoAnima
Friend
Honest is the foundation of a good relationship.
rojse
RF Addict
A person who sneaks around someone's back makes it quite clear that they don't have the same opinions on relationships as the person who is being deceived.
AlsoAnima
Friend
Possibly. Often however, we are a slave to our instincts. I tend fo give people the benefit of the doubt, if only because I've been a slave before. (Figuratively)
Good point. I think the emphasis must be placed on "misguided".
BucephalusBB
ABACABB
Well, if you do not get all information, you take the risk not knowing others are talking about you when they do hold that information
Heneni
Miss Independent
Id first ask him if he loves her. If he does i dont care what he did with her its over. Im not going to be the alternative.
If he does not love her, id want to know what they got up to. I want to know what HE did to HER, not what she did to him. Then, ill make a descision as to whether to kill him or forgive him.
Either way...its gonna hurt.
Heneni
If he does not love her, id want to know what they got up to. I want to know what HE did to HER, not what she did to him. Then, ill make a descision as to whether to kill him or forgive him.
Either way...its gonna hurt.
Heneni
So, keeping secrets is a better way to earn trust?
EDIT:
Well, it could be in certain situations, but in others, like this one, keeping a secret is more like living a lie, and asking your partner to live the lie as well.
tomspug
Absorbant
I think that honesty does more for the soul than for the relationship. If anything, being honest will harm the trust you once had, although you may be simply revealing your relationship for what it is. I think what's more important is that you are loving your spouse as much as possible, whatever decision you make.
Are you loving them more by not telling them or by telling them? And what should you tell, ask the same question.
Are you loving them more by not telling them or by telling them? And what should you tell, ask the same question.
BucephalusBB
ABACABB
We are talking about cheating here..
In practice -- in the real world -- yes.
TheKnight
Guardian of Life
There's no need to go into all the details of the affair. But one should definitely (even if one is NOT caught) address the problem. An affair usually denotes a communication error or a misunderstanding. It means something is wrong. I would think that it would be more healthy to the relationship to address that problem rather then to let it go on.
Is there a need to describe, in detail, what happened? No. In fact, one shouldn't describe it in detail. That's just sick and wrong. Nothing is accomplished by describing what happened to your partner.
