Why the sexual double standard?

[kreeden]

Draka , I have had that happen to me . Once I slept with someone , if was over , and it wasn't my doing ... Now there is something I bet you haven't heard many guys say eh ? Oh well .

I have also had women come out and tell me how many men they had slept with , and we weren't even dating . One said that she figured the member was over 300 .... And the strange thing is , my first reaction was ... " And you are telling me this , why ? "

As for your ex , that is all about control . Period . Nothing more .

I agree with J4L . The world is a wonderful place , but it can be messed up . You can allow it to bring you down , or you can sit back and view it as a comedy . The choice is yours .

Scott , I disagree about " no double standards if if society viewed sex as something more than recreational ". True , that would take care a a few of them , but I have seen the same game played using the words " A wife should honour and obey her husband ". I realize that they are twisting the meaning there , but that is what happens when these power games are played .

 

[Draka]

Kreeden, thank you. It really sucks when you think you have a real relationship only to find out you were a goal to be accomplished. You feel led on and toyed with.

Scott, as for the bit about it being "recreation" I don't quite think I view sexual relations the same way I would view going bowling for example. Some may look at sex for the sheer pleasure of it physically, and while I admit I like that aspect, it is not why I have it. However for those who take precautions in this day and age, if that is what they want to do and they take pleasure from it and still feel good about themselves, I cannot judge them for that.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

It is strange that each generation talks as if it invented sex. In the 50's and 60's it was all the rage and far fewer health risks.
My mother told us about the Goings on in the 20's and 30's amongst the well off. and it was just the same.
During the war they did it like there was no tomorrow and for many there wasn't.
People do what the can get away with.

Terry
______________________________________
Amen! Truly I say to you: Gather in my name. I am with you.

 

[michel]

It is strange that each generation talks as if it invented sex. In the 50's and 60's it was all the rage and far fewer health risks.
My mother told us about the Goings on in the 20's and 30's amongst the well off. and it was just the same.
During the war they did it like there was no tomorrow and for many there wasn't.
People do what the can get away with.

Terry
______________________________________
Amen! Truly I say to you: Gather in my name. I am with you.

You can go further back than that, Terry...........................

Time traveller's guide to Victorian England
Sexual diseases
With the rise in prostitution, there's an increase in gonorrhoea and syphilis. Specialised asylums for treating STIs – called 'lock hospitals' – serve to punish and separate sufferers from the general public. Medical treatments are quite primitive and also extremely painful.
In the 1850s, about half the outpatients in the main London hospitals are suffering from STIs, mainly the killer One of the enduring inventions of the Victorian era is the sleazy tabloid press, for although the newspapers remain traditional in appearance, the new journalism of the 1880s fills them with sex and scandal. King of the new breed of editors is William Thomas Stead (1849-1912), son of a Yorkshire Congregationalist minister.
In 1883, W T Stead becomes editor of the Pall Mall Gazette and soon gives the public a mix of moral outrage and salacious titillation. At the start of June 1885, readers are warned not to buy the issue of 6 July because it will contain shocking matters. On that date, the issue is headlined 'The Maiden Tribute of Modern Babylon', and describes in detail the trade in child sex. It covers the purchase of young girls from their mothers, the procuring of virgins for upper-class gentlemen, the international trade in little girls and the 'unnatural vices' to which they are subjected.............................................
Sexually transmitted diseases
...........................syphilis. To deal with the problem, Parliament passes the first of several Contagious Diseases Acts in 1864. These are intended to regulate prostitution in six garrison towns and ports, where it is assumed that soldiers and sailors need prostitutes. Any women found within a certain radius of garrison areas can be arrested and physically examined to see if she has an STI....................
Gays and lesbians
.........................Lesbian activity is not illegal, but male homosexual activity is. In the Victorian age, most same-sex unions are tolerated if discreet and secret. For example, the relationships between painters Charles Ricketts and Charles Shannon, and between Lord Gower and his valet, are accepted. But overt gay behaviour is treated more harshly than anywhere else in Europe. Despite this, in London there is an underground gay scene, with its own vocabulary, codes, pick-up places and rent boys...............................
Criminal offence
..............................In 1885, the Liberal MP Henry Labouchère successfully amends a bill that is intended to replace the legislation on contagious diseases (see above) and raise the age of consent for girls to 16. However, Labouchère also introduces a clause that, for the first time, makes 'gross indecency' between men a criminal offence, punishable by up to two years' hard labour. As a result, not only is sodomy illegal but so are all other homosexual acts, a situation unique in Europe. The law is soon dubbed the 'blackmailer's charter'. It is under this legislation that Oscar Wilde is prosecuted in 1895..................................
Excerpts from: http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/H/history/guide19/part10.html:help:

 

[Crystallas]

Why the "double standard" ?
The more a man uses his instruments, the more his instrument gets stronger. The more a woman uses her pocket, the looser it gets.

None of this moral BS of an answer, this is short and sweet the answer that defines why each other feel and say what they feel. While its not 100% accurate to most men and women, its right up there.
Some guys like sluts, some women like players.
Some people find that sex is important to them and the hormones are a bit overactive with them than normal people, some people dont have as much desire and dont choose to be active or so-active.
Women reach their peaks far after men do. This has a lot of effect on the situation since at the age of 18 you see many more men that are active than women. This makes the ratrio of women that have sex to men that have sex larger on the males side. So the males then have sex with more partners than the females. So for the women that are conserving, they choose to be around other women who agree with the way they feel and think that women dont has as much sex as man, when its only the wrong phase in life for them to naturally want to do so. While men lose their desire more so by the time women just hit their peak, you see the exact opposite happen among single women(married women too, but the numbers and morals have greatly changes to meet that point and phase of their lives, including children and other faimily.)
So naturally it only seems like there is a double standard. but there isnt, its actually ballanced with diffrent variables for each gender at diffrent times.

How come women make 20x the amount men do on selling their bodies? Why is there a double standard there, and do you think it effects the cycle of who is called what durring when.

 

[almifkhar]

the reason is really quite simple. women have the burden of getting pregnant and men don't. and lets face it, before the days of d.n.a. testing, if a woman slept with two or more men and ended up pregnant, she honestly had no clue of who the father of the baby was.

the other reason which is ensnared into the frist reason i spoke of is because women is the backbone of society. this goes hand in hand with motherhood.

another reason is because when a man sleeps with a woman and a baby comes out of it, it is his seed so to speak and not too many men want to raise a child that is not theirs. especially if he was decieved into thinking it was his.

 

[Yerda]

I like to think that both parts of the double standard have got it wrong. There is nothing inherently wrong with being a **** and there is nothing inherently praise worthy in being a stud. The fact that each has been labelled to a gender is unfortunate and confuses the issue but both are equally wrong.

Have as much or as little sex as you want. As long as you are always thinking about the others it effects, including any potential children, then go for it. I will certainly not look down on you. It just isn't for me.

I completely agree with young Fluff. Apart from the last sentence

 

[Scott1]

I realize that they are twisting the meaning there , but that is what happens when these power games are played .

I agree... but we're not talking about the roles of men and women.... but on how society views sexual activity differently for each.

Scott, as for the bit about it being "recreation" I don't quite think I view sexual relations the same way I would view going bowling for example.

Bowling is quite fun, though.

However for those who take precautions in this day and age, if that is what they want to do and they take pleasure from it and still feel good about themselves, I cannot judge them for that.

I don't judge them either.... but your point that women are unfairly portrayed and called "crude names" for being sexually active is lost on me.... I would not use the "crude names" of course.... but I would look upon both a woman AND A MAN the same way for their lack of chastity.

See, no double standard.

 

[johnnys4life]

I agree. Go bowling instead.

 

[turk179]

I know the standard exsists Draka...but there are by male standards-the ones they would sleep around with and then there are the ones they would marry. Guys(some...not all) don't see the harm in sleeping around to boost their false masculinity (they don't want to seem insufficient when they finally do marry)...women however don't HAVE to allow themselves to be the prize in this male game...Purity of ones self has to come ito play in the whole thing as well. Men couldn't do it to we gals if we just said NO! It all has to do with selfesteem...do you really want to be popular in THAT way??? They say men are the first to cheat in a relationship...unless they are cheating on a woman with another man there is always some woman who doesn't care if she cheapens herself by thinking she's scored this married or commited man...there are women out there who will only sleep around with a married man (she's afraid of commitment herself). If women taught their young gals to have a better opinion of themselves it would be harder for guys to put that extra notch in their bedpost. The weaker sex(as the term seems to be ruled by MEN) don't realize when they allow themselves to be USED they are actually acting as the weaker sex. We women must take a stand for our own sakes and if we did there would be no room for any double standard. You can't expect things to just up and change without a little work on the part of the women...behind a good man you always find a good woman! Our little boys should also be taught to have more respect for girls. If what they see says it's ok then they grow up thinking this is ok....it's been a mans world for so long that these standards seem to have taken hold and it's time due to STD's to act more responsible on both sexes part. It really all comes down to respect for ones self and for one another. Now it's coming down to life or death.


There will always be this double standard as long as women allow it because in the long run we are the ones who rule...LOL

I do agree with most of what you say but it sounds as if you base your statements on the "men will be men" concept. It is my oppinion that men have the ability to not play with a womans emotions for the sake of conquest or the notch on the bedpost. In those instances it is just as much the guys responsiblity to say no also. And contrary to popular belief, men have self control too.

So there will always be this double standard if guys continue to pretend they can't help themselves and woman allow it.

But in the end it doesn't really matter because you really are the ones that rule. :banghead3

 

[robtex]

Why the "double standard" ?
How come women make 20x the amount men do on selling their bodies? Why is there a double standard there, and do you think it effects the cycle of who is called what durring when.

economics 101: supply and demand.