Would you become heterosexual if you could?

[michel]

I was just posting on a thread relating to Homosexuality, and was concentrating on the fact that no one apparently knows what makes one person homosexual.

Without wanting to upset anyone (I mean this in the best possible taste) - to all the self-declared homosexuals on the forum; If tomorrow some sciebntist was to leap out of his lab yelling "'Eureka' I have got it!!!" - meaning that he had isolated the reason why people are homosexual, and could change homosexuals into heterosexuals (try to accept this 'as-is' although I dare say it sounds absurd).
would you:-
a) Want to become heterosexual ?

b) if you are at the time of the discovery in a loving relationship, I presume you would want to stay as you are; am I right in that assuption?

 

[Green Gaia]

Want to become heterosexual ?

No. I believe God made me who I am for a reason, even though sometimes it is very hard to deal with.

 

[pdoel]

At one point in my life, yes. This is not an easy lifestyle. And unfortunately, comes with a lot of prejudice, hatred, etc. If I were a teenager again, and could change my life in a way to make me fit in better, and give me all the hopes and dreams everyone else takes for granted, then yes, I would do what I could.

However, I'm now 36, and have been with my partner for almost 8 years. I love him more than life itself. I can't imagine life without him. Being gay is all I've ever known. I do not know what it's like to be attracted to women, how to wooo a woman, etc. I would have to give up my true love, and start all over. So at this point in my life, no, I would not change.

I hadn't thought about the comment made above though. How God made us this way. While I probably would still have done it if I could have at a much earlier age. Who am I to question God's way? He made me this way, and must have had his reasons. He may not be as happy about people changing as we think.

 

[robtex]

It really saddens me that Michel's question has as much validity as it does. I find it disturbing that others feel the need to micromanage societies relationship habits when they are not in conflict with their own or societies. Pdoel your post is painful to read because it affirms the cruelty we can impose on one another and the idea that you feel regret for something that is naturally part of you due to society pressures is a blunt illustration of the inhumanity some religions and people who partipate in them can bring to bear.

 

[michel]

It really saddens me that Michel's question has as much validity as it does. I find it disturbing that others feel the need to micromanage societies relationship habits when they are not in conflict with their own or societies. Pdoel your post is painful to read because it affirms the cruelty we can impose on one another and the idea that you feel regret for something that is naturally part of you due to society pressures is a blunt illustration of the inhumanity some religions and people who partipate in them can bring to bear.

An excellent post Rob; I agree with every word.

 

[Jaymes]

No.

I may hate how I'm treated at times, but I wouldn't give up Liz for the world. Even if I didn't have her, I wouldn't want to use whatever said scientist had made... it'd have to change part of me, the way I think, the way I love, and I don't want that to happen.

 

[michel]

No.

I may hate how I'm treated at times, but I wouldn't give up Liz for the world. Even if I didn't have her, I wouldn't want to use whatever said scientist had made... it'd have to change part of me, the way I think, the way I love, and I don't want that to happen.

Of course you wouldn't Jensa - I understand that. It would be tantamount to my being asked to leave my wife.

If there is something that I have learned from this thread, it is without doubt that you guys have my admiration, and well, at the moment, I am stuggling with my feelings about those who treat you badly. I never felt happy about the way Society as a whole treat Gays... now I feel doubly comitted to fight for equal rights. Thank you.

 

[Bastet]

would you:-
a) Want to become heterosexual ?

No. It took me far too long to accept who I am to want to turn my life upside down again...even if it would make it 100 times easier for me to find a partner.

b) if you are at the time of the discovery in a loving relationship, I presume you would want to stay as you are; am I right in that assuption?

As you said in another post; it would be tantamount to asking you to leave your wife (who I assume you love dearly and are happy with). When I first came out, and was in a relationship, one of my 'good' friends kept saying to me, "If some nice guy comes along, don't just dismiss him out of hand because you think you're gay". I wanted to slap her, repeatedly. Knockout

 

[Fluffy]

Nope. I can see no reason to cut down the lucky potentials out there who might get the chance to date me .

 

[Unedited]

I finally like who I am, I wouldn't want to change.

 

[rainbowchristianqld]

Excelent Questions, with a lot of answers. This isn't really something I've thought about before, so it's a bit difficult.

It brings many questions to my mind like:
Q: Where would I be now if i'd become straight earlier in life?
A: Probably be settled down in a house, leading a Normal life with a Normal Woman doing Normal things and generally happy.
Without it (now): I lead the most exciting and fulfilled life that anyone could imagine - travelling, meeting many interesting people (of many many different cultures), living happily single for the moment, learning things that I would not have learned if I was straight. I've also made friends that I would have never have met if I wasn't gay.

Q: Would it be part of God's plan for me to take this "Straightner" ? (after all, he knew us before we were born and knows who we're going to be). Would I be doing this for my self or for Glory of God?
A: If I were to do it, It'd probably only be for the sake of my family/loved ones and for the loss of having homophobia/un-equal rights etc.. used against me.

So, would I trade my life for a straight one? No, I don't think so.

I beleive that "Who you are" is imbedded in your soul, so even if I was chemically and mentally heterosexual - I would no longer be able to Love with my all my heart and soul.

 

[KirbyFan101]

Wow. Some people I thought were straight...

Well...

Arent!

 

[michel]

No. It took me far too long to accept who I am to want to turn my life upside down again...even if it would make it 100 times easier for me to find a partner.


As you said in another post; it would be tantamount to asking you to leave your wife (who I assume you love dearly and are happy with). When I first came out, and was in a relationship, one of my 'good' friends kept saying to me, "If some nice guy comes along, don't just dismiss him out of hand because you think you're gay". I wanted to slap her, repeatedly. Knockout

I can see why the boxing gloves; in your position, I would feel much the same.

But I have to admit that there was a time when I understood nothing about homosexuality, in fact I was 'frightened' by all the ones I knew at the boarding school in England. More than 60% of the boys were homosexuals - and that is a modest estimate; perhaps it was partly their age - I don't know.

But at least, it is the remarkable people who show great courage on this forum, who are prepared to stand tall and say "I am one" who have influenced me the most - and the ones I met, when working on a telephone answering calls from the depressed; alas there were many such fine people as all of you here.

I was in two minds about posting this thread - I even asked for an opinion from another member, whose judgement I admire and trust.

All I can do is to offer to make myself available for any petitions; I have looked for organizations to join - one is the Human Rights, but if any member knows of a specific one for equality, please let me know.

 

[Jaymes]

I may admit it easily on here, but real life is a different matter... my friends and even a few random people who've heard me talking to my friends about my girlfriend know, but every time someone comes up and asks me I'm shaking in my boots. "Why are they asking? Do they know my family? Are they going to tell them?" I always just answer and figure there are worse ways to come out, if they do tell my family.

 

[Unedited]

I was going to put in my post before - I'm actually bi, not a lesbian, if that makes any sort of difference.

So on here I'm perfectly fine admitting to it, but in 'real life' I hide. Being bi, I think, has made that easier than if I were gay, especially since I'm 'more straight than gay' as it were. I'm always worried both how straight people will think about it, and how gay people will think about it. I've gotten a lot of crap from people who don't believe in bisexuality, who say I'm just afraid to admit that I'm gay, or I'm just trying to make myself more interesting by pretending to be gay.

Anyway, I'm not one of the courageous kind.

 

[Fluffy]

I was going to put in my post before - I'm actually bi, not a lesbian, if that makes any sort of difference.

So on here I'm perfectly fine admitting to it, but in 'real life' I hide. Being bi, I think, has made that easier than if I were gay, especially since I'm 'more straight than gay' as it were. I'm always worried both how straight people will think about it, and how gay people will think about it. I've gotten a lot of crap from people who don't believe in bisexuality, who say I'm just afraid to admit that I'm gay, or I'm just trying to make myself more interesting by pretending to be gay.

Anyway, I'm not one of the courageous kind.

I know exactly how you feel. I seriously would not want my being bi getting round at my school because thats the kind of thing people get beaten up for there. However, I have dropped it into conversation with a few people I trust, and of course on here.

 

[Feathers in Hair]

This may be off-topic for this thread (and I'll happily remove it if it is) but do you know deep in your soul if you're bi? Or is it more a suspicion- like "I think if I met the right someone, it wouldn't matter to me what gender they were'?

 

[Jaymes]

Well, I knew I was lesbian when I'd fiddled around with guys and girls and I didn't really enjoy fiddling around with guys. I imagine if someone was bi, they like fiddling with guys and girls equally.

 

[Crystal Red]

I imagine if someone was bi, they like fiddling with guys and girls equally.

Not true, for me at least, I am bisexual, but I have a preference to women. I don't know why. Oh well. I don't think I can answer Michel's original question, since I can choose whether to be in a gay or straight relationship. I have to say I wouldn't want to be just straight, I find I have so much more options (well it makes sense since I can choose men or women, rather than be confined to one or the other), it just means I can find change to suit my environment more easily, I don't know the hatred felt being in a gay relationship, although I am bisexual, since I am so young I have never met any gay people my age, on an island so small a homosexual is rare, to say the least.

 

[Crystal Red]

This may be off-topic for this thread (and I'll happily remove it if it is) but do you know deep in your soul if you're bi? Or is it more a suspicion- like "I think if I met the right someone, it wouldn't matter to me what gender they were'?

That's quite true, though physically I do prefer women to men, & there are obvious difference on a social level having a relationship with a man or woman, the right someone could be any gender.