Would you kick your child out if he or she wanted to convert to another religion?

[LuisDantas]

By the way, did you know that a 3th century Christian sect worshipped the Devil? According to their belief, God was the less likely of the two to send them to Hell. Therefore they decided it's better to try to keep the Devil happy, so they would safely get to Heaven when they died.

A prequel to Pascal's Wager, so to speak?

It does make a peculiar kind of sense.

 

[Desert Snake]

Is everyone really this tolerant? Aren't there religions that would relly bother you? May be not kick someone out however bother you enough to cause a problem

 

[BBTimeless]

Is everyone really this tolerant? Aren't there religions that would relly bother you? May be not kick someone out however bother you enough to cause a problem

Despite what the media wants you to believe, most people are pretty tolerant so long as the beliefs in question do not cause unwarranted tension and conflict.

 

[MatthiasGould]

For me I wouldn't stop any of my children from converting to any religion as long as three conditions are met:

1. They are doing so for rational reasons that they have thought out and researched properly. I'd have wanted them to at least read that religions holy book (if there is one) and read around the basic beliefs of the faith, and for them to consider why they believe that holy book or religious belief to be true. This may seem a big demand, but I've read some horror stories of people being tricked into converting from Sikhi to Islam/Christianity through deception and lies, often with promises of marriage.

2. I would certainly not be prepared to accept fundamentalist preaching or practices in the house. They must be willing to compromise and realise that whilst I am tolerant and open to all religion, there must be moderation and respect for the rights and beliefs of others.

3. They must accept that the household as a whole would remain much the same in terms of its identity and workings. I hope to become Sikh and raise a family as Sikhs, and so if I found myself doing so and finding myself in a situation where a child of mine did want to convert, I would make it clear that the essential faith practices of Sikhi would remain, such as the 3 daily prayers, the abstention from meat, the wearing of the kirpan etc.

 

[arthra]

Over the years, I'd seen trepidation from members at RF about talking with their parents the desire to convert to another religion. Some have expressed doubts about their own safety if they were to communicate how they feel about the religion they were raised in. As if to suggest to their parents a wish to change religions, or even to suggest a change in beliefs within a religion, is a death sentence physically or that they would be disowned/kicked out of the house. We have entire threads dedicated to these discussions.

So, I ask as a parent, if you had a child, and raised him or her in your faith, and they over time wished to convert to a religion you find either difficult or distasteful, would you kick your child out of the house? Would you refuse to speak to your child again?

And not to make it seem like I'm singling out conservative parents, let's say you're a liberal-minded/progressive practioner/believer. And your child begins studying fundamentalist literature and joins a church that claims apostates or unbelievers are wicked and should be at least shunned and at best killed for their beliefs? Would you kick your child out of the house for believing as such?

Sorry I missed this thread when it started yesterday..

Being Baha'i in my family we have raised our children to respect other religions and have seen that they are exposed to various religions around where we live... as well as inter-faith activities. In our Faith the age of maturity is considered fifteen years of age and if our child at that age decided to adopt another religion we would accept that decision and still support him/her until they are capable of supporting themselves later in life.

 

[Caladan]

So, I ask as a parent, if you had a child, and raised him or her in your faith, and they over time wished to convert to a religion you find either difficult or distasteful, would you kick your child out of the house? Would you refuse to speak to your child again?

And not to make it seem like I'm singling out conservative parents, let's say you're a liberal-minded/progressive practioner/believer. And your child begins studying fundamentalist literature and joins a church that claims apostates or unbelievers are wicked and should be at least shunned and at best killed for their beliefs? Would you kick your child out of the house for believing as such?

Our library is packed with books about religion, including academic books about the archaeology of religion from our studies and work, to Vedic, Biblical, Norse, Gnostic, and Thelemic religious texts. My wife comes from a secular Catholic background, and I come from a secular Jewish background. Suffice to say that the child will be exposed to various philosophies and to world religions. I will guide that child towards a wholesome world view, educated enough that they are not going to lose themselves in fundamentalism or charlatanism.
For the sake of the argument, I would be disappointed if the child turned to ultra-orthodoxy which is why I would instil Jewish integrity and appreciation of Jewish history in them which would render a need for supernatural beliefs and superstition useless and which will make it clear to the child that a Jewish identity is not exclusively religion based. That child will hopefully be connected with his/hers Celtic and Judaic roots enough that they won't have to seek answers in religious groups or sects that daddy would not approve of.
I'll also initiate them into Greek mythology and literature from an early age that will foster an appreciation of mythology and how to appreciate a good story without taking it as a truth.
To summarize, I'll take the reign early on so that my children will not search for answers in cults or fundamentalism later on. They'll know enough about world religion as not to be overwhelmed by religious 'truths' when they grow up.

 

[Debater Slayer]

When and if I ever have children, I don't think I'd punish them for thinking differently than I do unless their beliefs caused severe disruption in the household, and even then I'm not sure I'd resort to kicking them out.

... which is the same reason I've taken a personal vow not to marry or have children with someone who would be willing to kick any of our children out or disown them because of holding different beliefs than mine or hers. I'd want my children to know that they can be completely honest with their parents about who they are and what they believe, not fear severe consequences merely for speaking their minds.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

When and if I ever have children, I don't think I'd punish them for thinking differently than I do unless their beliefs caused severe disruption in the household, and even then I'm not sure I'd resort to kicking them out.

... which is the same reason I've taken a personal vow not to marry or have children with someone who would be willing to kick any of our children out or disown them because of holding different beliefs than mine or hers. I'd want my children to know that they can be completely honest with their parents about who they are and what they believe, not fear severe consequences merely for speaking their minds.

Excellent. :clap

 

[Desert Snake]

I would rationally try to deter anyone from adhering to a religion that I thought was teaching false doctrine etc.
Keep in mind some religions are very cultic, it may not be a matter of simple theological disagreements or lifestyle change

 

[Andal]

I most certainly would not kick them out. If they began practicing black magic, demon worship, or some violent practice I would forbid such things in my home. If its just a run of the mill conversion, everyone is entitled to follow their heart.

Aum Hari Aum!

 

[McBell]

I would rationally try to deter anyone from adhering to a religion that I thought was teaching false doctrine etc.
Keep in mind some religions are very cultic, it may not be a matter of simple theological disagreements or lifestyle change

If I tried that approach, I would have to target every single person who claims religion...

 

[McBell]

YOU are the one who mentioned "false doctrine" and seeing as I do not believe that there is even a single religion that 100% of their doctrine is 100% "true" doctrine....

 

[Desert Snake]

YOU are the one who mentioned "false doctrine" and seeing as I do not believe that there is even a single religion that 100% of their doctrine is 100% "true" doctrine....

But there is freedom of religion...............................different religions denominations are going to vary in teachings/ practice, I would be tolerant of anything that wasn't too extreme

 

[NIX]

I most certainly would not kick them out. If they began practicing black magic, demon worship, or some violent practice I would forbid such things in my home. If its just a run of the mill conversion, everyone is entitled to follow their heart.

Aum Hari Aum!

You could hardly stop someone from practicing magic. (in other words - you can't)

And how are you going to control who/what a person worships?
(these things can be done- and essentially take place- internally. And certainly beyond the 'scope of your view and knowledge')


Violence/Violent practice is a whole different thing though. A person who exhibits violent tendencies needs counseling at least. No society wants violent people walking around- and the law is on your side.

 

[NIX]

Forcing a person to hide who they are is more likely to make them angry and violent over time than allowing them to be and express who they are (even if that expression/asthetic doesn't particularly appeal to you) . Appearances are one thing, but people who become truly psychologically twisted (violent) over time are usually the ones who feel they have been unaccepted and rejected for who they are.

 

[dyanaprajna2011]

I'm a Buddhist, and my fiance is a Christian. My seven year old daughter has already decided that she is a Christian. My nearly-four year old son is too young to decide. It really doesn't bother me that they have different beliefs, and I think kicking a child out of the house for having different beliefs is highly unethical. Would you kick a kid out for being of a different sexuality? A different political party? I would think and hope not. And if they became part of an evangelistic conservative sect, and decided to preach everyday about how I'm an idolater going to hell, well, I have a decent sized garden that needs tending.

 

[Penumbra]

And not to make it seem like I'm singling out conservative parents, let's say you're a liberal-minded/progressive practioner/believer. And your child begins studying fundamentalist literature and joins a church that claims apostates or unbelievers are wicked and should be at least shunned and at best killed for their beliefs? Would you kick your child out of the house for believing as such?

How old is the child? Under 18 or over 18?

I wouldn't kick a child under the age of 18 out of the house under any circumstances short of them being literally violent.

If the child is an adult child, capable of making their own way in life, then if they disrupt the household enough then they might have to find a new home until they can chill out.

If I had a child, I'd try to raise her to be reasonable and compassionate, and I would give her exposure to the beliefs and cultures of the world, so I would find it very unlikely that she would end up with malevolent and narrow-minded beliefs. But people should be free to follow where their thoughts lead. If the child turns down a path that I find ridiculous, I'll make my disappointment known and try to be a better example to turn them back.

 

[Levite]

How old is the child? Under 18 or over 18?

I wouldn't kick a child under the age of 18 out of the house under any circumstances short of them being literally violent.

This is actually a really great point. I had presumed that an adult child was meant by the OP, and responded accordingly.

But yes, if we're talking about a minor child, then no, I wouldn't kick them out under any circumstances short of uncontainable violence.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

How old is the child? Under 18 or over 18?

I wouldn't kick a child under the age of 18 out of the house under any circumstances short of them being literally violent.

If the child is an adult child, capable of making their own way in life, then if they disrupt the household enough then they might have to find a new home until they can chill out.

If I had a child, I'd try to raise her to be reasonable and compassionate, and I would give her exposure to the beliefs and cultures of the world, so I would find it very unlikely that she would end up with malevolent and narrow-minded beliefs. But people should be free to follow where their thoughts lead. If the child turns down a path that I find ridiculous, I'll make my disappointment known and try to be a better example to turn them back.

I think these are certainly important distinctions, and perhaps tweaks a few answers here.

Under 18, my children are my sole responsibility for their protection, education, and welfare. Short of them being threatening to our safety, I would never kick them out.

After 18, however, my husband and I fully expect our children to have the ability to live on their own if they've graduated high school. And converting to another religion, depending on the obligations they might feel they have toward their congregation or faith, might create more static in the household than if they were living on their own.

How we've raised our kids, it hasn't been any issue at all for us. Our oldest 2 are independent - one is transitioning out and one has done so already - and neither gave any disruptions in spite of varying beliefs from us. But if they do consider it during the time of transitioning out to their own, we're very comfortable talking about what boundaries we all will want from each other, and what bridges we wish to build/strengthen.

But yeah, if one of our other teenaged kids (aged 14 and 15 at the moment) were to convert and begin preaching, we take most things from our teens with a healthy grain of salt anyway. They're establishing their identity, and finding themselves, and beginning to rebel in ways that help them feel comfortable with breaking away from us as their parents. Hubbie and I would probably let them preach a bit to get it out of their system, and then ask if they want macaroni and cheese for dinner or if they're all right with a casserole dish.