Hi Altfish. Good afternoon. Being compassionate, tolerant and not selfish would be dependent on the rules we live by, or were taught throughout life. If you have children, you'll realise you have to teach them these qualities. Tolerance however is not always a good trait to have. Tolerating sin will make one weak. But that aside, the Bible gives us guidance and rules as to how we should live our lives. Those who do not have such rules are often subject to their own personal feelings as to when or if they should show these quality traits. With the Bible, showing such attributes is a way of life. Although I can imagine that some people who are not religious may show some good character traits sometimes, those who adhere to the Bible will be showing these without variance. Jacob 3:17 says "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without variance, without hypocrisy."
If you put the average non-religious person in a situation where they were in life-death situation, I'm of the opinion that most would disregard any favourable attributes in order to save themselves alive. I've seen this several times through my life, where non-religious people who seem to have good qualities abandon them whenever it suits them to. To me, following the Bible must be done even if threatened with death. Faith in Yahweh is a very important element if we want to please Yahweh (
Hebrews 11:6) and actually, it would not be possible to overcome our sinful natures without the help of Yahweh. Yahshua my Savior was able to overcome his sinful nature which we all have but he was constantly praying, even in the middle of the night, relying upon Yahweh. When we put Yahweh first, others second and us last, I find we put things in to proper perspective. Actually, putting Yahweh first can be demonstrated by the first of the Ten Commandments, but also other places like Proverbs 3:5-9. When we put Yahweh first, we put his Law first and his Law will guide us in every situation to keep us from the many pitfalls of life. We then learn how not to be selfish, because Yahweh is not selfish.
Proverbs 16:7 says "When a man’s ways please Yahweh, He maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him." This I have found to be true. Pleasing Yahweh first adds a great deal of peace to one's life, and that extends to the lives of others also.