You are what you’re raised

[JustGeorge]

Just once

I might be wrong on the amount of times, too....

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Well, the Ancient Greco-Romans did it. It was surprising to them when men were only interested in women as male bisexuality was the norm, because they were raised with it. The well-known pederasty was all over and most men were sexually aroused by it, we can safely assume, as they kept engaging in it. The complete inverse is true of our culture where bisexual men are a minority.

It seems likely that sexuality is mostly a hardware issue but might also contain some software, i.e., socialisation.

Has to be an element of what you're calling software, but I've never really understood what is sexuality, and what is more mechanical.

Like...hmm...if I masturbate, I'm not gay, but....I can get myself off. If that's seen in terms other than as an expression of sexual preference, it kinda makes some sense, and also somewhat explains situational homosexuality.

I also think part of this is that sexuality is more a spectrum than defined groupings. So social acceptance or encouragement of homosexual relations or even pederasty will mean it's a far earlier point on the spectrum where those sexual expressions are acted on.

I'm speculating like heck here, I'll freely admit.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

What does that even mean? How would you raise someone to be gay?

Put them on an island with only their own gender, and don't actively discourage homosexuality?

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Nah, chances are I'd still be ace, actually. Sex in humans is gross no matter who is doing it.

Plants, on the other hand...

My wife encourages her passionfruit into sexually promiscuous behaviour with her bare hands.
I thought to judge this by it's fruits...and it's fruits are goooood.

 

[Soandso]

Well, the Ancient Greco-Romans did it. It was surprising to them when men were only interested in women as male bisexuality was the norm, because they were raised with it. The well-known pederasty was all over and most men were sexually aroused by it, we can safely assume, as they kept engaging in it. The complete inverse is true of our culture where bisexual men are a minority.

It seems likely that sexuality is mostly a hardware issue but might also contain some software, i.e., socialisation.

Hmmm... I haven't read too much on the subject, but it was my understanding that only sleeping with women was seen as "womanly" while sleeping with men as well was seen as more masculine. To be perceived as masculine, sleeping with men was more of a cultural expectation. As most Greek societies at that time were hyper masculine, it was seen as a bad thing to not do it. We certainly have different criteria now, for the most part

Does attraction play a part? I suppose it could, but men can get an erection and have sex without physical attraction. If they are expected to do it, that is also powerful incentive to do it as well

 

[Rival]

suppose it could, but men can get an erection and have sex without physical attraction.

I've always heard the opposite.

 

[Soandso]

I've always heard the opposite.

I mean... As an asexual guy, I can confirm from my own experience that you've heard wrong, but I guess that's just anecdotal evidence on my part

Though speaking from my experience, sex is a major part of being in a relationship. It's not only an expectation, but it's a vital part of building a strong foundation for that relationship, imo. I haven't looked at any articles on the topic, but you spurred me on to find one, and I stumbled on this review on several articles. Here's a quote I found that's relevant to my earlier point

"After becoming aware of asexuality, individuals must reconcile their developing asexual identity with prevailing heteronormative and allonormative social pressures [1,5,6]. Heteronormativity assumes heterosexuality is the normal or default human condition, with other sexualities viewed as aberrant and problematic [1]. Allonormativity, derived from allosexual (non-asexual), assumes that sexual attraction and a desire to engage in sexual behavior are the human norm, and therefore lack of sexual attraction/desire (i.e. asexuality) is abnormal and pathologized."

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X22002378?via%3Dihub

Now, imagine if you lived in a culture where the expectation was engaging in sex with men as a man. It would be the norm, as most cultural expectations are