Your greatest cooking failure :D

[crossfire]

Mine involved BBQ'ing with a leaky bottle of lighter fluid

I was holding the inflamed bottle out of sight while calmly asking my wife where the extinguisher is at so she wouldn't freak out.

The food was only a little burnt.

Everyone knows that lighter fluid is flammable. However, not everyone knows that powdered non-dairy coffee creamer (Coffee-Mate) is also flammable. {Don't ask me how I know this. }

 

[crossfire]

One more kitchen tip for those too embarrassed to confess to learning this the hard way: everyone knows the importance of washing your hands after touching your eyes or nose, or using the restroom, before handling food. However, an equally important, but lesser known rule is the importance of washing your hands before touching your eyes, nose or using the rest room--especially if you have been working with hot peppers! :run:

 

[YmirGF]

Everyone knows that lighter fluid is flammable. However, not everyone knows that powdered non-dairy coffee creamer (Coffee-Mate) is also flammable. {Don't ask me how I know this. }

as is flour... just saying...

 

[YmirGF]

One more kitchen tip for those too embarrassed to confess to learning this the hard way: everyone knows the importance of washing your hands after touching your eyes or nose, or using the restroom, before handling food. However, an equally important, but lesser known rule is the importance of washing your hands before touching your eyes, nose or using the rest room--especially if you have been working with hot peppers! :run:

Hahaha.... on yet another Chili venture... I was merrily chopping up Cayenne chili peppers for my latest batch of Nuclear Chili when my mom phoned. While talking to her I finished slicing and dumped them into the bubbling stew and absently rubbed my eye. Well, within a few seconds... I told her, I had to go now and would call her right back. Whichever eye I had brushed was weeping at a rapid rate. I flushed it with cold water for about 3 or 5 minutes before it stopped. Wow... the reaction was so fast... Dinner was excellent tho...

 

[metis]

Stir-fried chicken livers in an aluminum wok whereas it stuck to the sides. We went out to dinner after chucking the wok and the recipe.

 

[crossfire]

Hahaha.... on yet another Chili venture... I was merrily chopping up Cayenne chili peppers for my latest batch of Nuclear Chili when my mom phoned. While talking to her I finished slicing and dumped them into the bubbling stew and absently rubbed my eye. Well, within a few seconds... I told her, I had to go now and would call her right back. Whichever eye I had brushed was weeping at a rapid rate. I flushed it with cold water for about 3 or 5 minutes before it stopped. Wow... the reaction was so fast... Dinner was excellent tho...

My Sensei once told me a story about how he had his mother and other members of his family over for dinner, which started off with freshly prepared jalapeno salsa. After serving the salsa, he went to use the restroom without washing his hands beforehand....

 

[ScottySatan]

I ate my own earwax.

 

[YmirGF]

I ate my own earwax.

Though revolting, I don't see how that qualifies as cooking, per se.

 

[ScottySatan]

Though revolting, I don't see how that qualifies as cooking, per se.

I'm insulted! I prepared it very lovingly!

 

[crossfire]

I'm insulted! I prepared it very lovingly!

Well, it wasn't a failure then.

 

[ScottySatan]

Well, it wasn't a failure then.

Geez, tough crowd.

 

[Falvlun]

I knew a lady who tried to make caramel by putting an unopened can of sweetened condensed milk directly on the oven burner. I don't know how long it took for her to get the resulting goo off of her kitchen ceiling.

I actually heard you can do this... but you're supposed to drop the unopened can into a pot of boiling water.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

One more kitchen tip for those too embarrassed to confess to learning this the hard way: everyone knows the importance of washing your hands after touching your eyes or nose, or using the restroom, before handling food. However, an equally important, but lesser known rule is the importance of washing your hands before touching your eyes, nose or using the rest room--especially if you have been working with hot peppers! :run:

*raises hand*

I've been guilty of this. I once absentmindedly rubbed my eyes after chopping up jalapeno peppers. My poor eyes.

I've had a few blunders. I once was making sweet dinner rolls and somehow substituted salt for sugar. We sat down for dinner extremely excited to have sweet dinner rolls with buttery grilled corn on the cob and all of us threw our rolls down after one bite because of the intense salty taste.

Plenty of moments when I was just cutting my teeth into the culinary arts when I was younger where I seriously burnt butter, chocolate, and did a number on scalded milk. I just thought high flames were all cooks used. Burnt cheese, though, was always the worst.

I'll never beat my ex-husband, though, when it comes to worst cooking blunders. He burnt our whole house down trying to cook chicken wings.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I was once grilling a steak which was supposed to be medium-rare, but it ended up being closer to medium. What a disaster!

 

[methylatedghosts]

I once had a left over chicken carcass from a roast, and decided to use it for stock. Threw it in a put with water and some veges, and put it on the stove. One intense phone conversation later, I went back to the kitchen to find the water had boiled away, and a kitchen full of smoke.

 

[DreadFish]

It's probably not my worst, but the first thing that popped into my mind was the time my dad and I tried to make caramel when I was a kid.

We didnt know how to do it, so dad just decided it would be a fun experiment. I remember that we had sugar and water and milk and it was in a glass, pyrex dish. After it had been in the oven for a little bit, we took it out to see how it was. It turned out so hard that we couldn't get it out of the dish and im pretty sure we had to throw the dish away

 

[methylatedghosts]

So yesterday, I'd put on a batch of rye meal sour dough to rise, and it was finally ready for baking just after midnight. Put it in the oven, then say on the couch to read while I waited. I woke up 5 hours later, ran to the oven to find two very hot, very black bricks. Couldn't even break into it by smashing it against the edge of the sink!

 

[YmirGF]

So yesterday, I'd put on a batch of rye meal sour dough to rise, and it was finally ready for baking just after midnight. Put it in the oven, then say on the couch to read while I waited. I woke up 5 hours later, ran to the oven to find two very hot, very black bricks. Couldn't even break into it by smashing it against the edge of the sink!

It sounds like someone needs a handy dandy timer

 

[Breathe]

Generally, I'm okay at cooking, but... baking. I just can't do it.

Dough hates me. I even made some side by side with my wife, and she was watching over me. She measured the ingredients and we put them in at the same time.

Hers was perfect. Mine failed. :sad:

My sister-in-law, though? Everything.
She burnt chips. And fish fingers.
Black.

... how do you burn fish fingers?

 

[Shak34]

I tried making coffee cake. It smelled wonderful, but tasted funky. I'm not sure what I did wrong. My son accidently put microwave popcorn on the wrong setting and caught the microwave on fire, he also caught the toaster on fire trying to toast bread. He now has to have supervision when cooking.