Your partner's religion (or lack thereof)

[an anarchist]

What is your partner's religious/spiritual beliefs? Does it align with yours? Does it matter?

I remember in my former baptist church, they taught that we should only date fellow Christians.

I've been in three relationships, including my current one. My first one, my ex wife, was extremely spiritual. She broke down my belief that all other religions besides Christianity were evil and introduced me to eastern religion/practices. We would read, meditate, and pray together. Her spiritual zeal was why I fell in love with her. I loved our mutual spirituality, it was my favorite aspect of our relationship.

In my second relationship, my partner was open to spirituality but was unsure what they believed. They weren't spiritual though. I ended up closing off my spiritual life from them and this did my relationship no good.

In my current relationship, my boyfriend is 100% atheist. I'm being open about my spirituality and it's a topic we are often discussing. I don't intend on convincing him of anything. I really don't care to. But I am on my own when it comes to my spirituality. Meditating and praying with my partner is a thing of the past. It took me a long time to accept that, but I think I finally have.

I like the guy. But I wonder if my life partner should have similar spiritual outlooks as me. We could be psychonauts together. When the gods call on me, and I answer, how could my boyfriend understand? Few could. Should I search for the few who understand? Or is it irrelevant if my partner understands?

I've given up on the settling down idea. As I am reborn, and change, I'll see if my boyfriend is along for the ride. If not, I'll keep driving. In my previous relationship, the relationship took precedence over my spirituality. This is no longer the case.

I'm interested in your anecdotes, wisdom, and experiences. Please share! :^]

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Difference is fine, but you both owe it to each other...and yourselves...to be open and honest.

In theory I'd be fine being with a spiritual person, but it would depend on their more specific beliefs and practices, and what their worldview led them to think about me.

I wouldn't be with someone who saw me as deficient because of my atheism, even if they loved me. I could be with someone who believed in a God or God's, and had an important spiritual side. I could even make more active allowances for this.

 

[an anarchist]

I wouldn't be with someone who saw me as deficient because of my atheism, even if they loved me.

So you probably wouldn't date most Christians? Just speaking from personal experience with Christendom, many are taught that non Christians do not possess the holy spirit, and are essentially spiritually dead and this is a reason why they go to hell.

Now I'm thinking about it, I wouldn't want to date someone who is a Christian similarly to how I was a Christian. I figured every pagan was my mortal enemy, I mean, that's the impression I got from the Bible.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

So you probably wouldn't date most Christians? Just speaking from personal experience with Christendom, many are taught that non Christians do not possess the holy spirit, and are essentially spiritually dead and this is a reason why they go to hell.

Now I'm thinking about it, I wouldn't want to date someone who is a Christian similarly to how I was a Christian. I figured every pagan was my mortal enemy, I mean, that's the impression I got from the Bible.

It depends. It's a little tough for me to answer because I've been with my (now) wife since we were very young. However the girl I was seeing before that was a practicing Catholic, and I've had very close and fairly devout friends.

So...if they saw my lack of belief in God as factually wrong, but thought I was a morally upright person despite this, I could live with it. My lifestyle and beliefs don't contradict many versions of a Christian lifestyle (eg. I've only ever slept with one woman as an extreme example) but I don't believe God exists. Or if he does, not in any theistic sense. Or if HE does, not in any Christian dogmatic sense.
So...if they think I'm wrong, but a good person regardless, okay. That would kinda be my thoughts about a hypothetical Christian partner.

If they thought I was good, they'd be a good role model, and therefore I'd surely find God? Now we have a major problem. I would date someone like that, but only very briefly (in case they were just ignorant of me or my beliefs). There are certain things about me that won't change. Those can be accepted or not. If they're not accepted it's better for everyone to shake hands and move on.

Kids could be a sticking point. I don't mind if mine end up Christian, I only care how they treat others. But indoctrination at a young age is not something I'd idly watch.

 

[The Hammer]

What is your partner's religious/spiritual beliefs? Does it align with yours? Does it matter?

My spouse is a born and raised Lutheran, but has been having some issues with the church community as of late, so she does not attend and keeps her matters more private.

This is not the same as my religious views which is Polytheistic Druid.

Does it matter? Not really. It's never caused us any problems or arguments.

 

[Truthseeker]

What is your partner's religious/spiritual beliefs? Does it align with yours? Does it matter?

It does matter that we have the same religion, especially she felt that way before we got married. Sara is Baha'i, just like me. I'm not sure just how instrumental it has been to our marriage success, but it has certainly helped.

 

[SomeRandom]

What is your partner's religious/spiritual beliefs? Does it align with yours? Does it matter?

I remember in my former baptist church, they taught that we should only date fellow Christians.

I've been in three relationships, including my current one. My first one, my ex wife, was extremely spiritual. She broke down my belief that all other religions besides Christianity were evil and introduced me to eastern religion/practices. We would read, meditate, and pray together. Her spiritual zeal was why I fell in love with her. I loved our mutual spirituality, it was my favorite aspect of our relationship.

In my second relationship, my partner was open to spirituality but was unsure what they believed. They weren't spiritual though. I ended up closing off my spiritual life from them and this did my relationship no good.

In my current relationship, my boyfriend is 100% atheist. I'm being open about my spirituality and it's a topic we are often discussing. I don't intend on convincing him of anything. I really don't care to. But I am on my own when it comes to my spirituality. Meditating and praying with my partner is a thing of the past. It took me a long time to accept that, but I think I finally have.

I like the guy. But I wonder if my life partner should have similar spiritual outlooks as me. We could be psychonauts together. When the gods call on me, and I answer, how could my boyfriend understand? Few could. Should I search for the few who understand? Or is it irrelevant if my partner understands?

I've given up on the settling down idea. As I am reborn, and change, I'll see if my boyfriend is along for the ride. If not, I'll keep driving. In my previous relationship, the relationship took precedence over my spirituality. This is no longer the case.

I'm interested in your anecdotes, wisdom, and experiences. Please share! :^]

Well my experience is that of someone who grew up in a household of multiple spiritual beliefs and opinions.
Does that count?

My mother is a practicing Hindu. One of the universalist kinds (which I think did help ease tension in our house. Just an observation.)
My father was a born and raised Protestant but didn’t care too much for religion. Never disputed it, just didn’t care.

That said, he never once got in the way of my mother’s practices and encouraged her to pass it onto me (many Hindus treat religion much more like cultural heritage.)
With my mother being so open, I grew up in a Christian run after school program, which my mother happily helped whenever she was asked. It helped that the sect of Christianity that run it were fairly lax lol
Indeed my parents friends were mostly Christian but this was never an issue as they seemed fairly open to attending my mother’s religious ceremonies and vice versa. Probably helped that they were also Indian so there was also that cultural connection.

I think if you can find common ground or just a way to accept the other, then you shouldn’t have too much issue.
A little bit of compromise also goes a long way.
My father was no doubt baffled at the various religious gatherings my mother arranged at our house on occasion. But he simply shrugged it off and left everyone to it.
My mother meanwhile tried her best to keep her prayers quiet in the mornings so he could sleep.

I don’t actually recall them having any arguments about religion, truth be told

 

[Trailblazer]

I'm interested in your anecdotes, wisdom, and experiences. Please share! :^]

FYI, I started a thread similar to this not long ago.

Do common religious beliefs contribute to marital success?

Why do people marry a person whose beliefs are very different or even diametrically opposed to their own beliefs? The reason I am thinking about this is because I was widowed but I would like to get married again someday, so I am thinking about what kind of man I would want to marry. Another...

www.religiousforums.com

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Well my experience is that of someone who grew up in a household of multiple spiritual beliefs and opinions.
Does that count?

My mother is a practicing Hindu. One of the universalist kinds (which I think did help ease tension in our house. Just an observation.)
My father was a born and raised Protestant but didn’t care too much for religion. Never disputed it, just didn’t care.

That said, he never once got in the way of my mother’s practices and encouraged her to pass it onto me (many Hindus treat religion much more like cultural heritage.)
With my mother being so open, I grew up in a Christian run after school program, which my mother happily helped whenever she was asked. It helped that the sect of Christianity that run it were fairly lax lol
Indeed my parents friends were mostly Christian but this was never an issue as they seemed fairly open to attending my mother’s religious ceremonies and vice versa. Probably helped that they were also Indian so there was also that cultural connection.

I think if you can find common ground or just a way to accept the other, then you shouldn’t have too much issue.
A little bit of compromise also goes a long way.
My father was no doubt baffled at the various religious gatherings my mother arranged at our house on occasion. But he simply shrugged it off and left everyone to it.
My mother meanwhile tried her best to keep her prayers quiet in the mornings so he could sleep.

I don’t actually recall them having any arguments about religion, truth be told

I've been known to celebrate Diwali publically with my sister-in-law (who was born in India, to Indian parents).

I'm an atheist and she's Catholic...lol

 

[SomeRandom]

I've been known to celebrate Diwali publically with my sister-in-law (who was born in India, to Indian parents).

I'm an atheist and she's Catholic...lol

Haha that’s awesome

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Haha that’s awesome

Hey, there's colour, fun, dancing and food.

'Do I have to pray?'

Nup.

'Im in!!'

 

[SomeRandom]

Hey, there's colour, fun, dancing and food.

'Do I have to pray?'

Nup.

'Im in!!'

Lol exactly my thoughts. But I have to pray
Being born Hindu and all lol

 

[Aupmanyav]

Polytheist Hindu (I am a strong atheist Hindu).

 

[ChristineM]

Hubby was Methodist but never practiced. I was church of England. We both gave up on religion befor we met.

Now he is "religion... meh" I'm a certified atheist.

The only times we talked about religion was when the children took an interest. Otherwise he just thinks I'm odd (or more odd than i was) by spending time on RF.

 

[Exaltist Ethan]

Forever alone here. I doubt I'll ever find anyone to spend my life with.

My best friend however is part of the LDS church and personally believes in Taoism. It's very interesting to talk to him because of how syncretic and omnist his views have become. The guy I'm referring to is actually a member of these forums, and I met him on here. His name is @dannerz .

 

[Orbit]

Right now I'm married to an ex-Eastern Orthodox, and I'm an ex-Presbyterian. We both think there's nothing out there but hydrogen. Religion just isn't an issue.

 

[Trailblazer]

Forever alone here. I doubt I'll ever find anyone to spend my life with.

You might be alone there but I am alone here, so we are both alone.
I feel the same way you do. I doubt I'll ever find anyone to spend my life with.
The big difference is that you are so much younger than me so you have time. Time is something I do not have.

 

[Exaltist Ethan]

You might be alone there but I am alone here, so we are both alone.
I feel the same way you do. I doubt I'll ever find anyone to spend my life with.
The big difference is that you are so much younger than me so you have time. Time is something I do not have.

Well, to be fair, although my best friend lives in a different country, I spend at least a few minutes a day with him on Facebook almost every day. And I have been for the last seven years. He's basically a platonic relationship at this point. And he often messages me first too, so the feeling is reciprocal between us.

I've dated before and never really found a connection. I'd rather be alone than with someone who doesn't value what I do for them. Yes, I am quite younger than you, only being 33, but life expectancy keeps going up and you are female. You probably got at least another ten years of living before you die. But you still work whereas I am on disability, so in that sense, I do have much more free time than you. I just don't want to waste that time on the wrong people, and in my 20s, I did that a lot. Many of the friends I made in my 20s are now dead.

My best friend is a few years older than me but is still in a healthy condition. I suspect I will spend many more years talking to him. We've even mentioned visiting in real life, but even if we never do, he will always be part of what I call "my inner circle". I cherish every day that I get to talk with him. I cherish my time in RF too, and being able to talk to unlike people, in the spiritual sense.

I'm sure you have friends to spend time with too. Nobody is an island, as they say.

 

[Estro Felino]

He is an atheist.

 

[JustGeorge]

Well, to be fair, although my best friend lives in a different country, I spend at least a few minutes a day with him on Facebook almost every day. And I have been for the last seven years. He's basically a platonic relationship at this point. And he often messages me first too, so the feeling is reciprocal between us.

I've dated before and never really found a connection. I'd rather be alone than with someone who doesn't value what I do for them. Yes, I am quite younger than you, only being 33, but life expectancy keeps going up and you are female. You probably got at least another ten years of living before you die. But you still work whereas I am on disability, so in that sense, I do have much more free time than you. I just don't want to waste that time on the wrong people, and in my 20s, I did that a lot. Many of the friends I made in my 20s are now dead.

My best friend is a few years older than me but is still in a healthy condition. I suspect I will spend many more years talking to him. We've even mentioned visiting in real life, but even if we never do, he will always be part of what I call "my inner circle". I cherish every day that I get to talk with him. I cherish my time in RF too, and being able to talk to unlike people, in the spiritual sense.

I'm sure you have friends to spend time with too. Nobody is an island, as they say.

Good friends, even online ones, can really make a big difference in life quality, can't they.