A Lone Wolf in The Deadly Desert?

[Tol]

I've a simple situation/question that I manage to make more difficult than is probably necessary:

In my Work/Practice of the Left-Hand Path, one recurring trouble is that of my physical location.

While arguments can be made for the "Lone Wolf" approach and a "that which doesn't kill me makes me stronger" attitude, the region I'm referring happens to be THE Crowning Achievement of the American Bible Belt. It is, therefore, either very fertile or very desolate from a LHP perspective.

Something calmly tells me to "just relax", reminds me of the fact that I'm actually doing quite well within these surroundings, and to just hold to the Awareness of my Xeper. Remanifest!

However, just as a matter of practical achievement, I would like to eventually interact with those on the LHP familiar with circumstances similar to mine. While it's lonely in the Deadly Desert, I also have a sense of 'maybe this is exactly how things should be for now.'

Any comments or questions would be most welcomed!

Xeper & Remanifest!

Tol

 

[Valor]

I've a simple situation/question that I manage to make more difficult than is probably necessary:

In my Work/Practice of the Left-Hand Path, one recurring trouble is that of my physical location.Tol

Where are you exactly?

 

[Tol]

Springfield Missouri, which is home to the International Headquarters for "The Assemblies of God", forming the world's largest Pentecostal body and, locally,
its own sort of government, banking, "security" and I don't care to know what all else.

 

[EtuMalku]

Tol,

My bit of advice for your situation is that whether you decide to work with a group or go it alone, it is mandatory that you 'do the Work'! Perform the Workings, be hands on.

Do It!


EM

 

[Noaidi]

I'm not on the LHP, but following your own path is important. Whether you have like-minded people around you or not, shouldn't matter. You have to do what you think is right. As the only atheist pagan in my area, I have to follow what I think will get me through. Do the same. It can only come from you.

 

[Adramelek]

Hey ToL,

I too live in the middle of the buybull belt - Tulsa, Oklahoma. I am a Setian and back in the day - the early 1990's when I was an Initiate of the Temple of Set their were 5 Setians here in Tulsa. We had our own Pylon called the Rising Force Pylon. I later left the Temple do to personal reasons in my life and soon after the other Setians left as well. So now, as an eternal Setian, I am alone. I plan to rejoin the ToS as soon as I am in a place in my life where I can take full of advantage of the ToS, its teachings, and fully dedicate mySelf to my Xeper and Initiation.

Thankfully I have found a woman who is also LHP who also Magically creative and who also aspires towards the knowledge, Truth, and Undefiled Wisdom of Set, and who strives towards Xeper. She and I are both musicians also, we both excell on the same instruments, the piano/keyboard and the guitar - though, she is a much better vocalist than I am. The point is, she and I are both dedicated to and will for ever walk the Path of Darkness. We "Muse each others Xeper" - that phrase sounds so sexy to us both.

And even though we walk together in the Kingdom of Darkness, we both, in our individuality, must forge our own seperate ways in the Universe. However, even though we are both alone on our own unique Paths, we still encourage one another, inspire one another, and empower one another in the sharing of our Dark Essences with one another, which is very empowering to us both. (many of you know the woman/Black Light Maga of which I speak).

In the Name of Set, she and I will defy all constraints, dismay all challenges, and will cast down all that is moved to work against us.:bat: There are extremely few things more powerful in this world than a sorcerer and sorceress in total and absolute Love.

Xeper,
/Adramelek\

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

Hey ToL,

I too live in the middle of the buybull belt - Tulsa, Oklahoma. I am a Setian and back in the day - the early 1990's when I was an Initiate of the Temple of Set their were 5 Setians here in Tulsa. We had our own Pylon called the Rising Force Pylon. I later left the Temple do to personal reasons in my life and soon after the other Setians left as well. So now, as an eternal Setian, I am alone. I plan to rejoin the ToS as soon as I am in a place in my life where I can take full of advantage of the ToS, its teachings, and fully dedicate mySelf to my Xeper and Initiation.

Thankfully I have found a woman who is also LHP who also Magically creative and who also aspires towards the knowledge, Truth, and Undefiled Wisdom of Set, and who strives towards Xeper. She and I are both musicians also, we both excell on the same instruments, the piano/keyboard and the guitar - though, she is a much better vocalist than I am. The point is, she and I are both dedicated to and will for ever walk the Path of Darkness. We "Muse each others Xeper" - that phrase sounds so sexy to us both.

And even though we walk together in the Kingdom of Darkness, we both, in our individuality, must forge our own seperate ways in the Universe. However, even though we are both alone on our own unique Paths, we still encourage one another, inspire one another, and empower one another in the sharing of our Dark Essences with one another, which is very empowering to us both. (many of you know the woman/Black Light Maga of which I speak).

In the Name of Set, she and I will defy all constraints, dismay all challenges, and will cast down all that is moved to work against us.:bat: There are extremely few things more powerful in this world than a sorcerer and sorceress in total and absolute Love.

Xeper,
/Adramelek\

That's so sweet I dunno what to say. I can't wait till you two get further along with each other.

As for the OP, I live in the bible belt too... central florida. People here will spit a rotten tooth at you or pull a shot gun on you while trying to save your soul. lol. I call em' bible humpers. They're Sunday christians with insecurity issues who'll dam you to hell for not following Jesus and then go home and rape their wife in one breath. But ya know, as long as they hump their bible before bed they're saved...

Yeah...

Can ya tell I have issues with hating people???

What this has done for me, is for one I started practicing blending techniques. It's yeah i work on Sundays and Wednesdays but "praise Jesus Amen!"

I have found that being hidden is more to my benefit than being blatant, particularly when the retards take that crap into my workplace. You're supposed to leave the jesus freak crap out of places of business but they don't know any better.

For two, I learned that being the cause for another questioning their spirituality, and deeply rattling everything they believe, is not a desirable place I want to take in someone else's life. I learned that unless the person has a desire to question and initiates it on their own, it is very damaging and painful.

For anyone who doesn't understand what I am talking about, the movie God on Trial illustrates this realization of mine very well. It is an excellent movie.

For three, as your personal morality and sovereignty is shaped, being around such people gives you an over abundance of insight into the true nastiness present in the cultural "good," and the good present in the cultural "evil."

 

[blackout]

Any path that comes up against the "mainstream"
of your community/culture/society's "accepted" "norms"
will make you an outsider.
It will isolate you.
It will make it a struggle to live out your true self...
as people
even the people who love you most
will come against you...
who you are,
and what you are about.

Because they will not understand you,
and people tend to demonize
what they do not understand.
They will attach THEIR OWN meanings
instead of seeking to understand YOU.

This happens not only in regards to the LHP,
but also to any other minority in a given area.
Athiests... anyone of the "wrong" ideology,
religion, political party, or even sexual orientation.

It would be better that we all just "stay in the closet".

Do you think I tell the people around me that I am
LHP, Bisexual, and Polyamorous by nature?

And I live in a liberal part of the country.

People are scared and threatened of what they don't know.
It does make for excellent practice in LBM though.

Seriously though.
It is hard for me.
I AM me. I do not want to be anyone else but who I am.
I cannot waste my time playing mind games
with people who cannot love me as I am.
I cannot live in the constructs and cages
others would make for me.
Yet I am a VERY loving and sociable person,
and It hurts me to be alone.

I've been alone far too long.

It seems that the UniVerse is gradually changing that for me though
as I Step out more and more,
making the kinds of changes in my daily 'real' life
that will accomodate the (type of) deep and practical
depth of connection and intimacy that I so want and need,
in the space of my daily 'real' life.

The desires of My Heart and Will
are taking form daily.
Manifesting to fullness of reality.

Nothing in that arena began to change though...
until I DID.

This is both the FREEDOM and the exreeme challange of the LeftHandPath.

No one can change you, but you.

To effect tangable Objective Reality changes,
the magician must first re'form/re'model Subjective Reality.
Then you can begin re'arranging stuff.

Every hard reality change...
every man'I'fest'ation...
begins with the Self.

 

[blackout]

Also Tol....

If you want to move, move.
You know?
If you don't like where you are,
make plans to go somewhere else.

If you feel that the desert
is where you belong for now, stay.

If you want to move,
but things are keeping you from such,
make "moves" to move...
make the necessary changes,
change your situation
so you can change your location.

Just beware the mirages.
The only REAL Oasis is right there
within your own Self.

In the meantime
there is various LHP support & connection on the internet.
Thankfully for us all.

 

[Tol]

Interesting, Adramelek. Do you recall a Tulsa-Based BBS, "The Base of Set", ca. XXVII? I, too, was an Initiate of the Temple at that time, but formally resigned after about a year due to time-constraints.

Considering the limited time I've spent in these forums, I'm glad to be here.

Xeper,

Tol

 

[Adramelek]

Interesting, Adramelek. Do you recall a Tulsa-Based BBS, "The Base of Set", ca. XXVII? I, too, was an Initiate of the Temple at that time, but formally resigned after about a year due to time-constraints.

Ah, yes, I remember the "Base of Set", it was ran by a former ToS Initiate by the name of Jason Reynolds. I have a lot of fond memories from those days. It was remarkable to have 5 Setains here in Tulsa. Those ex-ToS Initiates and I had some good times.:bat: We also conjured a lot of Magic together - fun times!

Xeper,
/Adramelek\
Knight of the Black Order

 

[Kori Houghton]

Wow, FidoNet. I remember the Setians from Tulsa very well. The way you dudes presented yourselves was very positive for the TOS.

 

[Adramelek]

Can ya tell I have issues with hating people???

I have found that being hidden is more to my benefit than being blatant, particularly when the retards take that crap into my workplace. You're supposed to leave the jesus freak crap out of places of business but they don't know any better.

Hey, the world is full of fools and sheeple who only follow the herd mentality, I myself am a bit of a fledgling misanthrope. I make no apologies for it, it's simply the way I am.

Now days I always keep my True Self a secret in the work-a-day world, so to people I hardly know and to my co-workers, concerning me, what they see is not what they get.:bat: And I personally like it that way. Back early in my work life I used to be too open about my occult/"Satanic" views, which has gotten me fired from certain jobs. So I keep it to myself now days, and besides it's nobodys business anyway.

I remember this one time while in the break room, I was at the far end of the room and these two women were on the opposite end and they were having a conversation about Jesus and God, and I remember smiling and laughing silently to myself and thinking "If only they knew what I Am - muwhahahaha!"

Plus, secrets are a very Magical thing.

/Adramelek\
Knight of the Black Order

 

[Adramelek]

Wow, FidoNet. I remember the Setians from Tulsa very well. The way you dudes presented yourselves was very positive for the TOS.

Hmmm, that's interesting, and thanks. Yeah, in that last year we were all Adept II*'s. There was myself, there was Paul, Robert (can't remember their last names), Jason Reynolds (Pylon Sentinel), and Nicko Lair. Our Pylon was called the Rising Force Pylon and was sponcored by ex-Priest of Set Larry Evans. Thinking back on it, I really do miss those guys. But, times change and people tend to go their seperate ways.

Xeper,
/Adramelek\
Knight of the Black Order

 

[KHPR]

Ah, yes, I remember the "Base of Set", it was ran by a former ToS Initiate by the name of Jason Reynolds.

Actually, it was John Youril who started the BoS.

Xeper,
Magister Robert Adams
Host, KHPR: The Voice of Darkness

 

[Adramelek]

Actually, it was John Youril who started the BoS.

Are you sure, because I remember Jason starting the Base of Set back in 1992 or 93.

 

[KHPR]

Are you sure, because I remember Jason starting the Base of Set back in 1992 or 93.

Well we're talking over 15 years ago, but I remember John in Sacramento running the BoS and coordinating the hook ups with the other fidonet members.

Xeper,
Magister Robert Adams
Host, KHPR: The Voice of Darkness

 

[Tol]

Much thanks to everyone who responded; the feedback was helpful.

I had been letting some personal & external factors define me, giving them power that they don't really possess, and losing sight of my own self. :sarcastic

As far as deciding whether to work alone or with a group, I had been ignorant of just how much is taking place via the Internet.

Working with others, in person, is great, but there's no sense in not utilising the tools which are right in front of me.

Some one reminded me that, instead of sitting in the driveway, vehicle in gear with peddle to the floor, and shouting "why isn't this working?!", I should consider placing the key in the ignition first...

Xeper,

ToL

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

As far as deciding whether to work alone or with a group, I had been ignorant of just how much is taking place via the Internet.

Working with others, in person, is great, but there's no sense in not utilising the tools which are right in front of me.

I cannot describe how lucky we all are to have this resource. We are still alone. No one is holding our hand but the companionship and resources we can find through the internet I think helps us find our way, propelling our personal journey forward faster, and easier, than what was possible before.

 

[Valor]

Much thanks to everyone who responded; the feedback was helpful.

I had been letting some personal & external factors define me, giving them power that they don't really possess, and losing sight of my own self. :sarcastic

As far as deciding whether to work alone or with a group, I had been ignorant of just how much is taking place via the Internet.

Working with others, in person, is great, but there's no sense in not utilising the tools which are right in front of me.

Some one reminded me that, instead of sitting in the driveway, vehicle in gear with peddle to the floor, and shouting "why isn't this working?!", I should consider placing the key in the ignition first...

Xeper,

ToL

May i ask your age Tol? Reason being is that usually it takes time to adopt certian skills, this can not be learned my friend. Over time these things will come...but you must never fall asleep. There is "Always" work to be done concerning refinement of the Self. Over the years it will seem from almost out of nowhere that you have secured great coping and tolerance skills, this is not to say that you are inexperienced or immature, but rather still on the road toward remanifestation.

There is something "extremely great" that we can never excape, no matter how lazy we become...and that is "time."