Addicted to Depression

[The Sum of Awe]

Is it possible to be addicted to depression?

Maybe "addicted" is the wrong word here, but for about 3 years now I've had the same dull feeling of lacking motivation, carelessness, and an off and on sadness for no apparent reason.

It led me to failing all classes 2 whole years of high school, and this one is to be a third, giving up on it. It led me to threatening my health for a daily delirium. It led me to losing over half of my money in my savings and now it only slowly builds up 10 dollars a week. I can't help but think that it's already too late to turn around.

I'm not sure how much I messed my future up, and I can't seem to let it go. Like a scar, at first I kept making it deeper, thinking some freedom will come out of it, but now it's to a point where I don't really know if I can treat it, so why not just keep digging? I feel uncomfortable but I'm used to having it.

I've been to two different counselors for it, but as soon as my parents stopped intervening with my visits I always stopped going. I quit the first time because the guy really pestered me of how he could supposedly relate to everything I said. A while later my parents found out I stopped going and asked if I wanted to go to another. I thought that the second guy would be better but while he was a nice guy, I decided that I had "better things" to do.

I also am addicted to diphenhydramine, which is legal so I don't believe it goes against the forum rules to say that.

 

[Quintessence]

Addicted is indeed the wrong word.

One thing that is very important to understand is that depression can take many forms. It can be acute: it can come on for a short period of time and then you get over it. It can also be chronic: it is a persistent, reoccurring problem that never goes away. I have known people with both forms, and for people with chronic depression, it is extremely important to see it properly managed by a doctor you trust.

 

[nilsz]

I believe one can be conditioned to act helplessly and to focus on the negative, although I would be wary to presume to that you have endured any form of psychological abuse or bullying that may have led to this.

Failing to meet academic expectations from parents could prompt a seemingly endless stream of negativity from their side, which I believe can result in learned helplessness. I think it is important that they recognise minor victories however small for a student to recover.

 

[Willamena]

Be aware. Make it a strength instead of a weakness.

 

[Jeremy Mason]

I think it is addictive.

[youtube]6BkI8LD24y0[/youtube]
What The Bleep Do We Know--Addiction Clip - YouTube

 

[illykitty]

Have mental issues since early teens. Depression, probably since I was 10 or so. I have character traits that also prevent me from getting better but can't give up.

I was in a similar situation as you with school, well attendance wise, since when I was there I did great for some reason. Anyway, giving up on school is my biggest regret. Don't make yourself more depressed, unless you have an alternative plan, seriously don't give up on it. It'll make you feel even worse.

I know going to school doesn't always mean you'll get better jobs but at the very least you'll have a sense of achievement. If I could, I would go back but as it is, I can't really, so I try to read and sometimes visit sites as Khan academy but I really wish I had completed at least secondary (high) school.

As for how you feel, I don't have much motivation left in me. Everyday, even small things like washing dishes is a battle with myself. Do you really want to be like that?

 

[nazz]

Is it possible to be addicted to depression?

Maybe "addicted" is the wrong word here, but for about 3 years now I've had the same dull feeling of lacking motivation, carelessness, and an off and on sadness for no apparent reason.

It led me to failing all classes 2 whole years of high school, and this one is to be a third, giving up on it. It led me to threatening my health for a daily delirium. It led me to losing over half of my money in my savings and now it only slowly builds up 10 dollars a week. I can't help but think that it's already too late to turn around.

I'm not sure how much I messed my future up, and I can't seem to let it go. Like a scar, at first I kept making it deeper, thinking some freedom will come out of it, but now it's to a point where I don't really know if I can treat it, so why not just keep digging? I feel uncomfortable but I'm used to having it.

I've been to two different counselors for it, but as soon as my parents stopped intervening with my visits I always stopped going. I quit the first time because the guy really pestered me of how he could supposedly relate to everything I said. A while later my parents found out I stopped going and asked if I wanted to go to another. I thought that the second guy would be better but while he was a nice guy, I decided that I had "better things" to do.

I also am addicted to diphenhydramine, which is legal so I don't believe it goes against the forum rules to say that.

I have no advice but I'm so sorry to hear this

 

[Debater Slayer]

Is it possible to be addicted to depression?

Maybe "addicted" is the wrong word here, but for about 3 years now I've had the same dull feeling of lacking motivation, carelessness, and an off and on sadness for no apparent reason.

It led me to failing all classes 2 whole years of high school, and this one is to be a third, giving up on it. It led me to threatening my health for a daily delirium. It led me to losing over half of my money in my savings and now it only slowly builds up 10 dollars a week. I can't help but think that it's already too late to turn around.

I'm not sure how much I messed my future up, and I can't seem to let it go. Like a scar, at first I kept making it deeper, thinking some freedom will come out of it, but now it's to a point where I don't really know if I can treat it, so why not just keep digging? I feel uncomfortable but I'm used to having it.

I've been to two different counselors for it, but as soon as my parents stopped intervening with my visits I always stopped going. I quit the first time because the guy really pestered me of how he could supposedly relate to everything I said. A while later my parents found out I stopped going and asked if I wanted to go to another. I thought that the second guy would be better but while he was a nice guy, I decided that I had "better things" to do.

I also am addicted to diphenhydramine, which is legal so I don't believe it goes against the forum rules to say that.

Having a good education is the best way you can try to turn things around for the better. If you are failing classes because of depression, please see a therapist as soon as possible to avoid lagging behind further at school.

 

[Slapstick]

Is it possible to be addicted to depression?

Yeah it is. That is how people become obese, because they become obsessed with food to fill the emptiness in their lives.

Maybe "addicted" is the wrong word here, but for about 3 years now I've had the same dull feeling of lacking motivation, carelessness, and an off and on sadness for no apparent reason.

I'm sure that is only normal and everyone experiences it. If anyone were to tell you they never had a dull moment in their life then they would be telling you a lie.

It led me to failing all classes 2 whole years of high school, and this one is to be a third, giving up on it. It led me to threatening my health for a daily delirium. It led me to losing over half of my money in my savings and now it only slowly builds up 10 dollars a week. I can't help but think that it's already too late to turn around.

Sounds like you need to get your priorities strait and set some goals. Here are some questions you can ask because everyone has been there before:

• What matters most to you and not to anyone else?
• What are your interests?
• Are your interests capable of achieving?
• What do you plan to achieve with your life?

I'm not sure how much I messed my future up, and I can't seem to let it go. Like a scar, at first I kept making it deeper, thinking some freedom will come out of it, but now it's to a point where I don't really know if I can treat it, so why not just keep digging? I feel uncomfortable but I'm used to having it.

Everyone has scares. They heal over time!

I've been to two different counselors for it, but as soon as my parents stopped intervening with my visits I always stopped going. I quit the first time because the guy really pestered me of how he could supposedly relate to everything I said. A while later my parents found out I stopped going and asked if I wanted to go to another. I thought that the second guy would be better but while he was a nice guy, I decided that I had "better things" to do.

It happens. No one knows you better than yourself.

I also am addicted to diphenhydramine, which is legal so I don't believe it goes against the forum rules to say that.

I have experimented with every drug in the book and have been sober for well over 8 years and working on my masters. If I can do it then anyone can do it.

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

I can understand this...

It's not so much an addiction, but when one is clinically depressed, they become 'comfortably numb'.

Being depressed is all they have known for quite a while, so it becomes their nice little cozy security blanket. It justifies our existence where nothing else will (we lack the motivation, inclination or whatever to do so anyway) so we get caught in this vicious cycle...in a depressive rut or routine.

This is when depression starts feeding upon itself, getting to the stage where one thinks; 'why the hell did I even wake up this morning?'

I still get like this sometimes, but the trick is to start off making just small changes in your life...try a new clothing style, do your hair differently...dye it a different colour, eat something you've never had before, join a social club and go once a week, go on a short trip to the woods or beach once a month...just change it up a little bit.

You don't need to make drastic changes in your life and when you have depression, your mind won't allow that to happen anyway...even these small things are going to set it off a bit, but you must be strong and say 'I am doing this anyway...screw you!' (my mind is my own worst enemy...that's the problem with depressed peeps).

Also, see your doctor about getting a good anti-depressant. If you are taking them and you are still depressed, it's obvious the medication isn't working, so you must see your doctor to increase the dosage or try a different medicine (I need to go and do this and I have been 'putting it off').

Also speak to a psychologist about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and ways to 'break the cycle'. (I need to do that too).

There's help out there...

Oh yes, it can be an addiction...sort of...because in both cases, levels of serotonin and dopamine are incredibly low. Addicts use drugs to try and compensate...depressed people are just like that all the time.

Depression can lead to addiction, but being depressed isn't an addiction within itself.

 

[apophenia]

CAUTION
Many oral diphenhydramine preparations contain analgesics such as acetaminophen/paracetamol or aspirin, which can be toxic to the liver in high doses.
- Erowid

Your liver has a huge effect on mood. 'Benadryl at high doses' will cause liver damage.

 

[Curious George]

Is it possible to be addicted to depression?

Maybe "addicted" is the wrong word here, but for about 3 years now I've had the same dull feeling of lacking motivation, carelessness, and an off and on sadness for no apparent reason.

It led me to failing all classes 2 whole years of high school, and this one is to be a third, giving up on it. It led me to threatening my health for a daily delirium. It led me to losing over half of my money in my savings and now it only slowly builds up 10 dollars a week. I can't help but think that it's already too late to turn around.

I'm not sure how much I messed my future up, and I can't seem to let it go. Like a scar, at first I kept making it deeper, thinking some freedom will come out of it, but now it's to a point where I don't really know if I can treat it, so why not just keep digging? I feel uncomfortable but I'm used to having it.

I've been to two different counselors for it, but as soon as my parents stopped intervening with my visits I always stopped going. I quit the first time because the guy really pestered me of how he could supposedly relate to everything I said. A while later my parents found out I stopped going and asked if I wanted to go to another. I thought that the second guy would be better but while he was a nice guy, I decided that I had "better things" to do.

I also am addicted to diphenhydramine, which is legal so I don't believe it goes against the forum rules to say that.

What do you want to do? What sounds fun?

 

[no intelectual]

Is it possible to be addicted to depression?

Maybe "addicted" is the wrong word here, but for about 3 years now I've had the same dull feeling of lacking motivation, carelessness, and an off and on sadness for no apparent reason.

It led me to failing all classes 2 whole years of high school, and this one is to be a third, giving up on it. It led me to threatening my health for a daily delirium. It led me to losing over half of my money in my savings and now it only slowly builds up 10 dollars a week. I can't help but think that it's already too late to turn around.

I'm not sure how much I messed my future up, and I can't seem to let it go. Like a scar, at first I kept making it deeper, thinking some freedom will come out of it, but now it's to a point where I don't really know if I can treat it, so why not just keep digging? I feel uncomfortable but I'm used to having it.

I've been to two different counselors for it, but as soon as my parents stopped intervening with my visits I always stopped going. I quit the first time because the guy really pestered me of how he could supposedly relate to everything I said. A while later my parents found out I stopped going and asked if I wanted to go to another. I thought that the second guy would be better but while he was a nice guy, I decided that I had "better things" to do.

I also am addicted to diphenhydramine, which is legal so I don't believe it goes against the forum rules to say that.

depression can test your faith.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I wouldn't say it's "addictive". It's an illness. I've suffered from depression since I was a kid and in my teens, it became severe. During my late teens, I started being suicidal. I stopped going to school regularly in the 8th grade. Went to summer school for the 8th and 9th grades but eventually I would just stop showing up for weeks at a time, only popping up and going sometimes. I was basically kicked out of 3 high schools and was brought up on truancy charges once. I just couldn't bring myself to go or to do my work. So I never finished high school. I am a shut-in, basically, and am not psychologically able to work and so my mom and I are extremely strained financially.

Right now I'm dealing with a really horrible bout of depression due to life circumstances and my medication hasn't really been doing it for me lately. I haven't taken my medication in a few days because we ran out. My psych nurse is switching me to something else so I'm not bothering to refill it. I won't pick up my new medication until Thursday. I feel completely awful. I'm sleeping all day and avoiding people again. I've been having nightmares and other weird dreams and have been thinking about death on and off.

So I know how it feels.

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

I wouldn't say it's "addictive". It's an illness. I've suffered from depression since I was a kid and in my teens, it became severe. During my late teens, I started being suicidal. I stopped going to school regularly in the 8th grade. Went to summer school for the 8th and 9th grades but eventually I would just stop showing up for weeks at a time, only popping up and going sometimes. I was basically kicked out of 3 high schools and was brought up on truancy charges once. I just couldn't bring myself to go or to do my work. So I never finished high school. I am a shut-in, basically, and am not psychologically able to work and so my mom and I are extremely strained financially.

Right now I'm dealing with a really horrible bout of depression due to life circumstances and my medication hasn't really been doing it for me lately. I haven't taken my medication in a few days because we ran out. My psych nurse is switching me to something else so I'm not bothering to refill it. I won't pick up my new medication until Thursday. I feel completely awful. I'm sleeping all day and avoiding people again. I've been having nightmares and other weird dreams and have been thinking about death on and off.

So I know how it feels.

That's because you have gone off your psych meds cold turkey and that can cause a 'rebound effect'.

It also swings the body towards anxiety, which in turn, causes more depression.

It's always best to taper it off, but sometimes you just can't do that.

I am going to see a quack (any quack) about upping my dosage of pregabalin.

Doctors over here are stupid!

I was initially prescribed pregabalin after a serious bout of shingles in May, to ease my neuropathic pain.

However, not only did it ease my pain (I still get serious bouts of PHN every other week), I found my anxiety was almost gone, my appetite and libido increased dramatically and it also staved off my TMJD myofascial spasms. The side effect of 'general euphoria' is also quite pleasant and it helps with my depression - I just love this drug!

After years of being prescribed everything from Aropax to Zoloft (with nothing working and bad side-effects), I finally found something that works! That I am very happy with - however, it's very difficult to find a doctor that will actually prescribe it.

It's not addictive, but all my doctors say 'oh that is just too strong and it's not really recommended for people with Fibromyalgia, GAD, Depression or TMJD...it's for epileptic patients only and you never should have been prescribed pregabalin in the first place' - then, they go and write a script for Paroxitine and tell me to 'take panadol for the pain'...neither drug does stuff-all and I tell the doctors that, who all just say 'sorry, you just gotta learn to live with it then'.

When I show the doctors all the research on Pregabalin for GAD and Fibro, they all say 'that's in the USA, it's not here....we don't prescribe Lyrica for those conditions over here' (yeah, they just prescribe placebos, nothing more).

So now, I am 'doctor shopping' trying to find an open minded one...I may even have to return to my mother's doctor who lives like 300kms away (who prescribed pregabalin to me in the first place)...I just hoped it wouldn't have to come to that...I hoped wrong.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

That's because you have gone off your psych meds cold turkey and that can cause a 'rebound effect'.

It also swings the body towards anxiety, which in turn, causes more depression.

It's always best to taper it off, but sometimes you just can't do that.

I've been in a bad rut for a few weeks. I haven't taken the medication in about 2 days because we ran out and haven't been able to refill it. So that's not the real cause of my latest rut.

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

I've been in a bad rut for a few weeks. I haven't taken the medication in about 2 days because we ran out and haven't been able to refill it. So that's not the real cause of my latest rut.

Yes, I understand.

Just be aware of what can happen if you discontinue antidepressants abruptly, and this can contribute to whatever low you are riding right now.

Yeah, depression tests our faith, but the fact it still remains in tact at the end of the day is very comforting.

All the best, my friend (I am also in your situation anyway).

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Yes, I understand.

Just be aware of what can happen if you discontinue antidepressants abruptly, and this can contribute to whatever low you are riding right now.

Yeah, depression tests our faith, but the fact it still remains in tact at the end of the day is very comforting.

All the best, my friend (I am also in your situation anyway).

Oh, indeed. I'm aware that it's probably making it worse. I'll be okay, though.

Thank you. All the best to you as well in your quest to heal. God bless.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I had a terrible day yesterday and had a depressive outburst, but I'm back on my medication and got a good night's sleep so I'm better now.

 

[psychoslice]

I don't think its actually addiction to depression, its more being addicted to the cause of the depression. Living in the past is one example, with unfinished bussieness we cannot move on from the past, something from this past may have made us guilty, and subconsciusly we keep punishing yourself, well this is one example.