I get that some johns feel a sense of entitlement. I even get that johns who have sex with women coerced into prostitution are entitled whether they feel entitled or not.
What I don't get is why all johns must feel entitled and/or be entitled. I think there are very likely to be circumstances in which neither would be the case.
Thanks! That's actually helpful in understanding a female perspective, and one that seems likely to be shared to some large extent by most of the women I've known well enough to guess or know their attitudes towards such things. And yet, I still don't think every last prostitute on earth, under every last circumstance in which prostitution occurs, necessarily feels that way about being penetrated by her john.
The conversation in this thread seems to me to have come down to the distinction between all johns are jerks and some johns are jerks. Whoopie do!
I'd prefer we discussed something else now since we've reached an impasse on that point.
Despite my clever use of biased rhetoric, I genuinely don't pass judgment. I don't know whether they're terrible, abusive jerks or delicate, wounded birds who deserve my utmost compassion. What I DO know is that they are all people who, when their desire for sex, therapy or intimacy is going unfulfilled,
all feel entitled to hire somebody to sort them out, regardless of what the other person wants.
Those who
don't feel entitled to another human being's cooperation in their self-gratification don't hire prostitutes. They go to a real therapist, masturbate, or talk to people, or just be patient and seek out mutually agreeable, authentic sexual relationships.
I keep bringing up entitlement because it is the crucial distinction between those who frequent prostitutes and those who don't. There is no other distinction. We all feel lonely, horny and unfulfilled sometimes. Often desperately so. The only difference between "johns" and "not johns" is that johns feel their personal needs are a perfectly legitimate reason to penetrate a real, live, breathing, thinking woman regardless of how she feels about it, or about them.
I still think my notion of licensing johns is a damn good one.
I think so too! One thing that stuck with me listening to an interview with an ex street prostitute was her comment that part of what made hooking such a crappy deal as opposed to being a porn star was that
every single time she had a "date", all that was going through her head was "I really hope he doesn't kill me". She doesn't have to worry about that on a porn set, but she's still got other things to worry about, like disease, physical injury, coercion and a less terrifying form of violence.
Thanks! One thing I don't understand is how the word "entitlement" is being used in this thread. I'm not sure it's being used in any sense that I'm familiar with, or -- actually -- that is logically coherent with the senses of the word that I am familiar with.
Entitlement: "I want something, therefore I deserve it."
