Storm
ThrUU the Looking Glass
:hug:For my part, the answer to that one is simple. When I was a Christian, I did find such experiences to be beautiful but also out of sync with reality. That was OK though. What killed it for me was that we were manipulated (in multiple churches so it was not an isolated incident) by the priest or pastor via our open emotions. The last time this happened was so very painful that it would be unreasonable to submit ourselves to any such potential in the future. It is difficult to get that level of communion on one's own and after a while I realized that I could do without entirely. That is when I began to question the Christian faith as a whole which led to the reality that all that "communion" stuff was purely emotion without substance. Having strengthened my intellect since that time, it is really impossible for me to abdicate my intellect and return to the emotional "spiritual" realm.
Do I miss it? To be honest, sometimes I do. The music and the socializing at church were huge in my former life. I miss them both a great deal, actually. But I can't bring myself to show up when I know in my heart of hearts that to do so would be a form of lying since I don't believe all the stuff that is preached from the pulpit. So, what's a boy to do?
I wish I had an answer.