Are Men Necessary In Raising Children?

[Tigress]

Perhaps we should define 'male influence?' What is that, exactly?

 

[Ciscokid]

Absolutely, yes, no-one would deny that. But in child-rearing, the mother is more important overall.

I know but I was just reading some posts that sounded as though men don't necessarily contribute a whole lot. I am the primary care taker of three children so I'm of the opinion that sometimes the man can do just as good [or even better] a job or better than the mother.

 

[Ciscokid]

Perhaps we should define 'male influence?' What is that, exactly?

In my experience, a good 'male influence' will help a child when they have major decisions to make in life. Also a male influence will help keep a child in line with stern discipline.

I often hear about the black community desperately needing male influence in the lives of young black children. There must be a reason why.

 

[Tigress]

In my experience, a good 'male influence' will help a child when they have major decisions to make in life. Also a male influence will help keep a child in line with stern discipline.

Okay, but women can do those things too. So again, what is 'male influence' exactly? What is it that is unique to a male that children need in their upbringing?

 

[nutshell]

Okay, but women can do those things too. So again, what is 'male influence' exactly? What is it that is unique to a male that children need in their upbringing?

It is well documented that girls who don't have an attachment to a male figure (such as a father) will generally seek that attachment wherever they can find it, often leading to many bad situations.

 

[MaddLlama]

It is well documented that girls who don't have an attachment to a male figure (such as a father) will generally seek that attachment wherever they can find it, often leading to many bad situations.

If it's well documented, then I'm sure you wouldn't mind providing some of it for us...

 

[Buttercup]

It is well documented that girls who don't have an attachment to a male figure (such as a father) will generally seek that attachment wherever they can find it, often leading to many bad situations.

I agree with this statement wholeheartedly. And also agree that it's well documented. Personally, I grew up without a father and had little experience knowing what a good man was. I thought if someone paid attention to me....they were good. I found myself in a situation that was potentially life threatening because of my intense need for a constant male companionship. I am lucky to be alive today. I've made sure my daughter doesn't suffer the same situations.

 

[Ciscokid]

Okay, but women can do those things too. So again, what is 'male influence' exactly? What is it that is unique to a male that children need in their upbringing?

In my experience men seem to be much better at discipline than women are. I know when I was a kid, I listened to my father MUCH more so than my mother. Also, most boys tend to look to their father as an example.

I learned how to treat a woman from my father. My father taught me so much about life. It's not that only a man can do that but that I believe there is a "fatherly" role that men can play in a kids life.

Again, I ask the forum, why does the black community say that they are sorely in need of fathers to stay with the family's they start? There must be a reason!

 

[Ciscokid]

Why can't they just learn how to interact with people? Do standards for interaction need to be changed that much based on sex?

If it does, I must be doing something wrong. With the exception of relationship-interest, I treat my male and female friends pretty much the same with regards to how I interact with them.

I can't count how many women I've spoken to who have said "oh gosh I can't stand working with a bunch of women!".

There are differences between men and women, they do tend to handle things in different manners. Women on average do tend to handle things with much more emotion than men do.

Men tend to automatically try to "fix" things rather than step back and look at the bigger picture at times.

 

[Buttercup]

There are differences between men and women, they do tend to handle things in different manners. Women on average do tend to handle things with much more emotion than men do.

I agree. Men tend to be much more easy going about things that women get their panties in a bunch over, namely interpersonal relational perceived slights. Sometimes one or two words said by another person will bug the hell out of a woman for days. Men for the most part just shrug it off.

 

[Tigress]

It is well documented that girls who don't have an attachment to a male figure (such as a father) will generally seek that attachment wherever they can find it, often leading to many bad situations.

Is this an innate thing, or is this a 'learned' thing?--Are they seeking out a certain personality trait, or are they simply seeking testosterone, because that's the way they're 'wired?' Does their sexuality play a role?--I'd be curious to find out these things.

Again, I ask the forum, why does the black community say that they are sorely in need of fathers to stay with the family's they start? There must be a reason!

Sure there is.--Generally, it's easier to manage work and a child when there's two of you, as opposed to one. And no doubt the man was the sole provider in many of these families, as the trend has been in our society.--Also, if the child knows he has a father, he may be more inclined to miss him, and thus suffer psychologically, and the same if he sees his mother missing him.

I can't count how many women I've spoken to who have said "oh gosh I can't stand working with a bunch of women!".

There are differences between men and women, they do tend to handle things in different manners. Women on average do tend to handle things with much more emotion than men do.

Men tend to automatically try to "fix" things rather than step back and look at the bigger picture at times.

Again, how much of that is innate, and how much is 'learned?'--I'm not waving you off, I'm simply curious. This is an interesting topic.

 

[standing_on_one_foot]

I think loving parents are necessary for raising a kid, more than specifically men and women...generally this does involve men...

So yeah, men are necessary as people when it comes to raising kids, sure. The men in my life were important, but it was more important that they were there than that they were men...Probably having a good mix of different adults for kids to be around is the best possible thing, so that should include men and women.

Anyway, individual men (and women) can vary so much, it seems a little odd to try to simplify parenting just along those lines.

 

[Ciscokid]

I agree. Men tend to be much more easy going about things that women get their panties in a bunch over, namely interpersonal relational perceived slights. Sometimes one or two words said by another person will bug the hell out of a woman for days. Men for the most part just shrug it off.

Interpersonal relational perceived slights.......LOL

Gosh damn that's a good four word thing. I remember being asked to check this one girls email account. The manager wanted me to make sure she wasn't wasting time sending email to her friends etc. All I found was gossip and complaints about the other women around her.

 

[Tigress]

I think loving parents are necessary for raising a kid, more than specifically men and women...generally this does involve men...

So yeah, men are necessary as people when it comes to raising kids, sure. The men in my life were important, but it was more important that they were there than that they were men...Probably having a good mix of different adults for kids to be around is the best possible thing, so that should include men and women.

That I definitely agree with.

 

[Ðanisty]

I can't count how many women I've spoken to who have said "oh gosh I can't stand working with a bunch of women!".

There are differences between men and women, they do tend to handle things in different manners. Women on average do tend to handle things with much more emotion than men do.

Men tend to automatically try to "fix" things rather than step back and look at the bigger picture at times.

That's definitely not why I hate working with women. I hate working with women because believe it or not, women are more manipulative, twisted and backstabbing with other women than they are with men. Female competition is really nothing like male competition. I'd take a fistfight over the psychodrama any day.

That I definitely agree with.

That's very interesting since that's basically the same thing I said several pages ago...

 

[nutshell]

If it's well documented, then I'm sure you wouldn't mind providing some of it for us...

Whatever, llama. I'll get around to it when I feel like it. The tone of your posts implies you'll disagree regardless of what's posted. I hope all you feminists are enjoying the castration of men.

 

[standing_on_one_foot]

Whatever, llama. I'll get around to it when I feel like it. The tone of your posts implies you'll disagree regardless of what's posted. I hope all you feminists are enjoying the castration of men.

Well, speaking as someone who gets no particular enjoyment from male castration (how'd that come into this?) but is still sometimes a bit of a skeptic when it comes to gender-related studies, I think it would be interesting to see some, if you know where I could find them.

 

[Quiddity]

I found this interesting:

http://www.drlaura.com/reading/index.html?mode=view&id=363

Dr. Meg Meeker, a pediatrician specializing in adolescent health and author of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know warns that the absence of traditional masculinity and father-daughter interactions may explain your daughter's need for antibiotics, anti-depressants, and stimulants.

"I strongly urge fathers to be nurturers, teachers, and protectors," says Dr. Meeker. "An elemental truth of human nature-particularly in the family unit-is that women equally need men, yet young girls have absorbed the ridiculous feminist notion that women only need women. Unfortunately, there are dire consequences when a father buys into this 'political correctness.'"

Meeker warns that today's fathers feel an overwhelming sense of alienation, having been pushed aside and devalued by feminist rhetoric. Meeker challenges this attack on traditional masculinity and arms readers current research to show fathers how to strengthen-or rebuild-their bond with their daughter. and how it will shape their lives for the better.

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters proves to fathers how essential their role is in parenting their daughters and teaching them leadership, humility, and courage. Meeker exposes the alarming statistics of suicide rates, sexually transmitted diseases, and eating disorders in young girls who don't have strong relationships with their fathers, or have no fathers at all.

 

[nutshell]

I found this interesting:

http://www.drlaura.com/reading/index.html?mode=view&id=363

Dr. Meg Meeker, a pediatrician specializing in adolescent health and author of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know warns that the absence of traditional masculinity and father-daughter interactions may explain your daughter's need for antibiotics, anti-depressants, and stimulants.

"I strongly urge fathers to be nurturers, teachers, and protectors," says Dr. Meeker. "An elemental truth of human nature-particularly in the family unit-is that women equally need men, yet young girls have absorbed the ridiculous feminist notion that women only need women. Unfortunately, there are dire consequences when a father buys into this 'political correctness.'"

Meeker warns that today's fathers feel an overwhelming sense of alienation, having been pushed aside and devalued by feminist rhetoric. Meeker challenges this attack on traditional masculinity and arms readers current research to show fathers how to strengthen-or rebuild-their bond with their daughter. and how it will shape their lives for the better.

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters proves to fathers how essential their role is in parenting their daughters and teaching them leadership, humility, and courage. Meeker exposes the alarming statistics of suicide rates, sexually transmitted diseases, and eating disorders in young girls who don't have strong relationships with their fathers, or have no fathers at all.

Thank you for posting that, Victor.