It does not say "when". You made that up. It does not say "How you will". You made that up.
The verse prior says women are "harthun lakum" and explains when they have periods not to have sex. Next verse says "approach them as you feel in goodness". Kadhdhimu. It tells you to be conscious of God. God consciousness or taqwa
means you have righteousness. The inner speech that tells you not to do wrong things.
It does not tell you to "rape your wife".
You made that up.
Here you go. Take your pick. Nowhere is consent even hinted at. So, who should I believe - all these widely published, fluently bi-lingual scholars, or some rando on the innertubes? Please show the weakness of your argument by pretending that I'm guilty of appealing to authority. At some point all teaching, regardless of the subject, could be boiled down to appealing to authority. Isn't that what every student in every classroom in the world does when listening to the teacher?
Sahih International: Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you,
so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allah and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers.
Pickthall: Your women are a tilth for you (to cultivate) s
o go to your tilth as ye will, and send (good deeds) before you for your souls, and fear Allah, and know that ye will (one day) meet Him. Give glad tidings to believers, (O Muhammad).
Yusuf Ali: Your wives are as a tilth unto you;
so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe.
Shakir: Your wives are a tilth for you,
so go into your tilth when you like, and do good beforehand for yourselves, and be careful (of your duty) to Allah, and know that you will meet Him, and give good news to the believers.
Muhammad Sarwar: Your wives are as fields for you.
You may enter your fields from any place you want. Reserve something good for your souls (for the life hereafter). Have fear of God and know that you are going to meet Him. (Muhammad) give the glad news to the believers.
Mohsin Khan: Your wives are a tilth for you,
so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offspring) before you for your ownselves. And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers (O Muhammad SAW).
Arberry: Your women are a tillage for you;
so come unto your tillage as you wish, and forward for your souls; and fear God, and know that you shall meet Him. Give thou good tidings to the believers.