Are you capable of Loving Unconditionally????

[Tristesse]

Let's give it the test. You have a son. You also have three grandchildren who are the joy of your life. One day, your son, tired of the expense of raising three kids, sets his house on fire and burns up his children, your grandchildren inside. What do you do with your son??


Some people say disown the kid and lock him away forever. Sure society is going to lock him in jail, but what about disowning your son?? Is it unconditional love to disown your son?? I think not!! Are you capable of loving unconditionally or will hate be inside you??


Personally, I would recognize my son had major problems. I would work endlessly on figuring out what caused this problem then do what it takes to solve it.


Don't people paint God in their own image?? Some say God disowns and places people in hell for much less evil than that man's son did. Does it really add up that God is this way?? Is it intelligent to be this way??


If God is Unconditional Love, He can't disown His children. He must solve the problem and love no matter what. Isn't the intelligent thing to do to solve the problem and keep the kid??


Are you capable of loving Unconditionally??

I'm not capabile of loving unconditionally, but I'm confused, isn't god the child who set the fire?

 

[Acim]

Accepting people as they are, but not accepting myself as I am. I think, that is were my focus should be. On myself. Putting the focus on others is a distraction.

As I see it, interaction does not need any effort, interaction is inevitable. If i improve myself, I improve my interaction as well. If I focus on improving others, I can easily elude myself in believing I improve myself.

In my opinion much of the saving of the world is done as an act of heroism to boost our own ego. It puts us in the spotlight, it acquires us admiration. Sainthood and martyrdom are not nearly as unselfish as people like to believe.

Word.

:bow:

 

[Riverwolf]

So you are basically saying that "unconditional love" means letting the one you love unconditionally do whatever they want and never saying or doing anything that someone else might find negative?

There are other ways to prevent the child from doing bad things, or to discipline them if they do, besides disowning them, so I'm not sure where you read that extreme.

 

[magalaan]

All descriptions of 'God' are mankind's descriptions.
Including yours.

I agree with that.

The description also has implications: If God IS unconditional love, it doesn't care either. The caring is with the enjoyer. God's love is for whoever cares to have it. So if people do not care for it, why should others care?

Is it not like sunshine? If people do not want to sit in the sun, but rather in the shade, if they do not appreciate it, why should others bother? Why this preoccupation to want others to be like us, to like what we like, to feel what we feel, to believe what we believe?

I rather be unselfish like God and just be lovingly, without trying to accomplish something. Why is God always packaged and handed out?

 

[ChristineES]

Let's give it the test. You have a son. You also have three grandchildren who are the joy of your life. One day, your son, tired of the expense of raising three kids, sets his house on fire and burns up his children, your grandchildren inside. What do you do with your son??


Some people say disown the kid and lock him away forever. Sure society is going to lock him in jail, but what about disowning your son?? Is it unconditional love to disown your son?? I think not!! Are you capable of loving unconditionally or will hate be inside you??


Personally, I would recognize my son had major problems. I would work endlessly on figuring out what caused this problem then do what it takes to solve it.


Don't people paint God in their own image?? Some say God disowns and places people in hell for much less evil than that man's son did. Does it really add up that God is this way?? Is it intelligent to be this way??


If God is Unconditional Love, He can't disown His children. He must solve the problem and love no matter what. Isn't the intelligent thing to do to solve the problem and keep the kid??


Are you capable of loving Unconditionally??

Even though it is remote that someone's child is going to burn up his or her entire family, I can answer.(I am not saying it couldn't happen and wouldn't happen, just that it is improbable as it is a pretty rare event) But, the way I see it, anger is not the same as hatred. And I would be angry if any child of mine would commit cold blooded murder. But whether I would still love the person, that is impossible to answer without it actually happening. I can't imagine stopping loving my children, but...

 

[Orias]

All descriptions of 'God' are mankind's descriptions.
Including yours.

Lolcakes.

I concur.

 

[Orias]

There are other ways to prevent the child from doing bad things, or to discipline them if they do, besides disowning them, so I'm not sure where you read that extreme.

Thats a good point, for example...

I was raised in the martial art of Tae Kwon Do at the age of 3, which basically conditions and teaches self discipline.

Unconditional love literally describes the relationship between mother and child, or father and child.

My father was my teacher, but he also loved the other students and treated them as his own. Now the parents of the other students, well he had some conflict with some of them but the child was completely subject to innocence. They came to learn Tae Kwon Do, not to be badgered or punished by their parents.

I believe I also used a dog as an example in another thread, dogs learn by association and discipline, not anger and punishment. A dog is more likely to repeat an act done that pleases the owner that is rewarded with a treat and not yelling or screaming or hitting.

The saying naturally stands for itself, treat one like an animal, and that is what they become.

Naturally, domesticated dogs yearn to please and not upset, so any understanding person can raise a dog. The same goes for children, and even cousins and family.

I know. I do try to avoid any sort of hate, but it isn't always easy.

Completely understandable, there is a fine line between whats "right" and whats right.

The good thing about it not being easy is that you learn a lot from it and the effects it has one people, one should never be afraid to express their Mind, even if there are people who "hate" what sort of contingencies these associated groups have to offer.

 

[Bird123]

Precisely. You can't know how you'll react to that kind of thing until you've been there. May none of us ever be in a position to be honest.

On the other hand, someone out there already knows they would disown and hang the kid. There are some who already made the choice. Maybe all our replies might get them to reconsider. You are right. May no one ever be placed in that position.

 

[Bird123]

No testing necessary, I go whack if my walls display no Gwynnies, so I must conclude "unconditional love" is an ideal. Besides, I think you need a pulse...

Is unconditional love really only an ideal or is it a choice we all can make? Should we just react to life, allowing hate to rule when the news is bad??? I realize it isn't always easy.

 

[idav]

Is unconditional love really only an ideal or is it a choice we all can make? Should we just react to life, allowing hate to rule when the news is bad??? I realize it isn't always easy.

The ideal is wanting the best for them. In that sense I wonder if unconditional love means loving who someone is or who someone can become.

 

[Bird123]

Accepting people as they are, but not accepting myself as I am. I think, that is were my focus should be. On myself. Putting the focus on others is a distraction.

As I see it, interaction does not need any effort, interaction is inevitable. If i improve myself, I improve my interaction as well. If I focus on improving others, I can easily elude myself in believing I improve myself.

In my opinion much of the saving of the world is done as an act of heroism to boost our own ego. It puts us in the spotlight, it acquires us admiration. Sainthood and martyrdom are not nearly as unselfish as people like to believe.

I think this total self-sacrifice for others, this strive for absolute perfection easily defeats itself. So we want unconditional love for the most foul murderers? Why? Maybe underlying is the wish to prove how great we are. The ego often does things to prove it can do them. It wants to show of.

In my opinion you can also spend that love on people that are more deserving, by improving yourself and be good to your environment. Yes I agree, it is far less spectacular, but it will have a greater result. But some want to break world records in unselfish love.

I regard Jesus as the ultimate hero, sacrificing himself for the whole of humanity. A blood sacrifice that became an example that many want to follow in their search for greatness. In Christianity I perceive a strong undercurrent of masochism as a result of that. I understand the idea and I respect it, but personally I prefer a more modest approach. Not so heroic, not such grand gestures, not so perfect, but more truly modest, subtle, more lovingly then the role of the hero.

I think sacrificing yourself for the unworthy because you want to make a point, defeats the logic. Logic taken to extremes turns into the opposite. I think there is more to be gained in the middle ground, than in the extremes.

I sometimes hear people say that it ruined their life but they stuck to their child and in the end it turned around. They congratulate themselves on their perseverance. But what I can not help wondering is if this would not have happened anyway. If it is raining and you wait long enough surely the sun is going to shine. Is it not the ego that wants to make us believe we make events happen?

In my view we are all children of God regardless of the bad choices some make. Doesn't everyone deserve unconditional love??? If one is not willing to do this, isn't there hate of some sort in their heart? Unconditional love for evil people does not mean give them everything they want. Shouldn't we give them what they really need to understand what their evil choice really means?? Clearly they do not understand. Yes, we need to start with the man in the mirror, however sometimes we do not always see what is needed. To be willing to help others can be a catalyst to change ourselves as well. Granted, people want to be famous. Some do a lot of things toward this goal, but is this really in every case?? I have met wonderful people who help but for no other reason than kindness. When it's done, no one ever knows about it. There are more selfless people out there than you realize. Does sticking by your child ruin a life???? I guess that depends on how one defines ruin. You never know. Life might have been a bigger mess had not been for the problem that needed to be solved. Wisdom was gained on the journey to solve the problem. perhaps the life was wonderful after all.

 

[Bird123]

So you are basically saying that "unconditional love" means letting the one you love unconditionally do whatever they want and never saying or doing anything that someone else might find negative?

Would it really be love if you allow those you love to do evil??? Doesn't unconditional love give what is needed not what is wanted. Ignoring the problem is not love at all. Maybe it's indifference.

 

[blackout]

Would it really be love if you allow those you love to do evil??? Doesn't unconditional love give what is needed not what is wanted. Ignoring the problem is not love at all. Maybe it's indifference.

No. I think unconditional love means not putting conditions on people you love.

call me strange.

 

[McBell]

There are other ways to prevent the child from doing bad things, or to discipline them if they do, besides disowning them, so I'm not sure where you read that extreme.

I am keeping my reply to the same level of extreme as the one I replied to.
Seems to me they are claiming that one cannot disown someone and still love them.
It is as though they are completely unfamiliar with the concept of "Tough Love".

 

[Orias]

No. I think unconditional love means not putting conditions on people you love.

call me strange.

Isn't loving another person essentially putting a condition on them?

 

[Bird123]

All descriptions of 'God' are mankind's descriptions.
Including yours.

That is right. I do not depend on other's view. My view comes from experience not from holy books or others. I believe people should discover God without the middle man guiding your way. Isn't one more likely to discover the real truth that way???? Do not depend on my view either. Let's stand on our own two feet.

 

[Orias]

I am keeping my reply to the same level of extreme as the one I replied to.
Seems to me they are claiming that one cannot disown someone and still love them.
It is as though they are completely unfamiliar with the concept of "Tough Love".

If you meant what may seem as cruel discipline or punishment, you should of just said so.

 

[McBell]

No. I think unconditional love means not putting conditions on people you love.

call me strange.

Hello strange.



I think unconditional love means not putting conditions of your loving them.
So in my opinion you can still divorce your spouse and continue to love them.
So no, divorce, IMO, has nothing to do with your loving them.

 

[McBell]

If you meant what may seem as cruel discipline or punishment, you should of just said so.

Fair enough.

 

[McBell]

Isn't loving another person essentially putting a condition on them?

how so?