Are you living the life you want?

[PoetPhilosopher]

I go to church just fine as a trans man. You just go to a church where they won't care, and there's many of those to choose from.

I believe you. Although, I think with trans females being more politicized, I could in theory cross a few more churches off my list, hypothetically speaking.

The fellowship isn't the only problem for me, either. For example, if we were to talk Christianity as an example, there are a few Bible verses which, when interpreted certain ways, make me cringe. And if I were to follow Christianity, for example, I would have to interpret those verses however I see as most correct, and not necessarily as however I want to see them, as I consider the latter to not be very intellectually honest - even if we're talking personal beliefs.

 

[Trailblazer]

Right. But for most to live the life they want, it has bills.

To have the basic necessities people have to have bills, unless they live off the grid. I'd be happy to live off the grid were it not for my cats and husband. He has to have his TV and the cats need vet care nearby.

 

[Jeremiah Ames]

It's a difficult question indeed. I haven't touched Abrahamic religion in the last couple of years due to feeling what it could offer me personally, as not outweighing the negative things I may experience as part of being Abrahamic. It may sound selfish, but being transgender and Democrat just amplifies the problem, I feel, if I were to participate in fellowship with other believers and such.

I think you made a wise choice.
It’s a shame people have politicized religion, and religiousized politics, but that’s the curse we’re presently living through.

 

[blü 2]

Are you living the life you want? Are you living the life you chose? I guess if you are happy with your life you probably don’t think about this much, but what about people who are not happy with their lives? What about people who wish their lives were different? Have you ever tried to make any major changes in your life? Do you feel stuck, as if you really have no free will to change? Are you ashamed or embarrassed to admit everything is not just perfect on this forum, as if it is somehow YOUR fault?

I’m not ashamed or embarrassed, because I know it is not my fault things have turned out this way since I have spent most of my life trying to improve my life while also doing what I believed would benefit others, ever since I went into recovery 37 years ago. However, I believe that free will is very limited and much of what happens in life is preordained by God. What do you think?

I think about this often and I am at a turning point so I am thinking about it a lot right now. I might have to make some changes that will greatly impact my life and I might choose to make some changes that will greatly impact my life. Sometimes I feel as if God is guiding me along in the direction He wants me to go, so will God guide me through these changes if I have to make them or choose to make them?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

On another note, I know that if I followed my own selfish desires I would not be living the way I am living. I would be thinking about “what I want” rather than what God wants for me.

I want to do God’s will and I keep thinking of what Jesus said:

Luke 9:23-24 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.

John 12:24-25 Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.

Matthew 6:19-21 Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

My religion has the same teachings, so that further corroborates what Jesus said. I often wonder how Christians interpret these verses when I listen to Christian radio and they are talking about how they love their lives and all the things they love about this world, food, drink, etc. Do I take these verses too seriously? Why would Jesus say what He did not mean?

Sometimes it is really hard to not think of myself and what I want, but so far what I want more is to live the way my religion teaches me to live, which is the same as what Jesus taught. Either that or I feel it would be better for me to drop out of my religion and start living for myself and all the world has to offer, because I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I could start living for myself right now if I wanted to and if I had free will.

However, I am not sure I want to live for myself, and even if I wanted to I don’t know if I have free will to change the way I have been living for so long and set out on an entirely new path. If this is the life that God has preordained for me I don’t really have a choice. However, even if God preordained some things I don’t believe that everything is preordained as I believe we are free to make some of our own choices, particularly our moral choices.

If I sound somewhat conflicted that is because I am. I want to love God and follow the teachings of Jesus and Baha’u’llah but another part of me wants nothing to do with God or religion owing to a lot of hurt they have caused me. However, it is not as if I love the worldly things of this life either, but since everyone else seems to love worldly things, I feel very much alone.

I am sorry this is so long, but my life situation has finally come to a head. I try to be completely self-sufficient but no man is an island.

Thanks for listening, Trailblazer.

I still think the best remedy for the blues is walking for an hour or so every day, weather permitting. It trims up the body, and that will help the brain, and there'll come a time when the problems can be thought about, and after that the options may emerge.

Or so it seems to me. I wish you all good outcomes!

 

[Spirit of Light]

Are you living the life you want? Are you living the life you chose? I guess if you are happy with your life you probably don’t think about this much, but what about people who are not happy with their lives? What about people who wish their lives were different? Have you ever tried to make any major changes in your life? Do you feel stuck, as if you really have no free will to change? Are you ashamed or embarrassed to admit everything is not just perfect on this forum, as if it is somehow YOUR fault?

I’m not ashamed or embarrassed, because I know it is not my fault things have turned out this way since I have spent most of my life trying to improve my life while also doing what I believed would benefit others, ever since I went into recovery 37 years ago. However, I believe that free will is very limited and much of what happens in life is preordained by God. What do you think?

I think about this often and I am at a turning point so I am thinking about it a lot right now. I might have to make some changes that will greatly impact my life and I might choose to make some changes that will greatly impact my life. Sometimes I feel as if God is guiding me along in the direction He wants me to go, so will God guide me through these changes if I have to make them or choose to make them?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

On another note, I know that if I followed my own selfish desires I would not be living the way I am living. I would be thinking about “what I want” rather than what God wants for me.

I want to do God’s will and I keep thinking of what Jesus said:

Luke 9:23-24 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.

John 12:24-25 Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.

Matthew 6:19-21 Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

My religion has the same teachings, so that further corroborates what Jesus said. I often wonder how Christians interpret these verses when I listen to Christian radio and they are talking about how they love their lives and all the things they love about this world, food, drink, etc. Do I take these verses too seriously? Why would Jesus say what He did not mean?

Sometimes it is really hard to not think of myself and what I want, but so far what I want more is to live the way my religion teaches me to live, which is the same as what Jesus taught. Either that or I feel it would be better for me to drop out of my religion and start living for myself and all the world has to offer, because I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I could start living for myself right now if I wanted to and if I had free will.

However, I am not sure I want to live for myself, and even if I wanted to I don’t know if I have free will to change the way I have been living for so long and set out on an entirely new path. If this is the life that God has preordained for me I don’t really have a choice. However, even if God preordained some things I don’t believe that everything is preordained as I believe we are free to make some of our own choices, particularly our moral choices.

If I sound somewhat conflicted that is because I am. I want to love God and follow the teachings of Jesus and Baha’u’llah but another part of me wants nothing to do with God or religion owing to a lot of hurt they have caused me. However, it is not as if I love the worldly things of this life either, but since everyone else seems to love worldly things, I feel very much alone.

I am sorry this is so long, but my life situation has finally come to a head. I try to be completely self-sufficient but no man is an island.

Thanks for listening, Trailblazer.

This life is always changing so happiness comes and goes, same with unpleasantness.
So in general yes I am happy with this life, but aspects of it, like getting a job full time, that I do not feel happy with at all, since my feeling is that it is not up to me (the system of "help" dictate how it "should be done" )
Something I am not satisfied with at the moment, so in that part of my life, I don't choose what to do, others do it for me.

In the spiritual part of my life, I feel I am on the right track (no matter what other Muslims may say)

 

[Trailblazer]

I still think the best remedy for the blues is walking for an hour or so every day, weather permitting. It trims up the body, and that will help the brain, and there'll come a time when the problems can be thought about, and after that the options may emerge.

Or so it seems to me. I wish you all good outcomes!

Funny you mention that just as I was about to go out for a walk since I FINALLY got caught up on my posts!
Are you psychic or something?

I usually walk for 1.5 hours a day in the evening but if weather is really bad I ride my elliptical machine indoors.

Once it gets dark like this it is kind of spooky walking at night but I go anyway.

 

[Trailblazer]

In the spiritual part of my life, I feel I am on the right track (no matter what other Muslims may say)

I think so too, no matter what the other Muslims say.

 

[blü 2]

Funny you mention that just as I was about to go out for a walk since I FINALLY got caught up on my posts!
Are you psychic or something?

I usually walk for 1.5 hours a day in the evening but if weather is really bad I ride my elliptical machine indoors.

Once it gets dark like this it is kind of spooky walking at night but I go anyway.

I wish you fine (and safe) walking then!

And as you walk, do you try to organize your thoughts about what you wish were different? Try to identify key points, possible solutions, possibly sources of good counsel or assistance?

 

[Trailblazer]

I wish you fine (and safe) walking then!

And as you walk, do you try to organize your thoughts about what you wish were different? Try to identify key points, possible solutions, possibly sources of good counsel or assistance?

As you can see, I still have not gone out since I got sidetracked having to do other things, but I am going in a few minutes, come hell or high water! The weather is so excellent here, 63 degrees, I have to go out at least for a while.

 

[Viker]

Yep. I could use a little improvement. But I'm content where I am.

 

[oldbadger]

@Trailblazer , I'm sad to read about your present sadness list.
Was it the Buddha that told us to 'not need'?
Anyway, I think the trick is to adjust your mind in order to reduce your 'wanted' list.
And to think of ways to discard things that you are terrified of losing.

I'm not wise enough to have succeeded in any of this, I just got lucky.... I found the right spouse.

 

[Truthseeker]

Yes, that is the decision I am being forced to make, but I have already made it. I am not getting vaccinated.

So it's either your job is over, or getting clearance or whatever the term is from your counselor? Or is it your doctor? My memory is fuzzy, I got earlier than I am used to because Michael came at that time, so I'm tired.

 

[Truthseeker]

No, I don't think it is as easy to change as some people think, not when we have suffered a bad trauma in childhood, and we would probably not be this way if we hadn't suffered that way although there is also a genetic component. Both my parents were depressed and anxious and used alcohol to medicate those conditions, and all three of us children inherited this genetic tendency and have had to fight this all our lives.

I see you saw my veiled message. There's also a genetic component like with my son or for that matter with my brothers. For them it is all genetic components. What I aid earlier though is a little misleading. My son has learned to do things under other people's care that has surprised me. We didn't know what to do with him, but they did. That confirms my wife was right to give him up to live away from us under other people's care 24/7. It makes me sad to tell you this, nevertheless, because I miss those days when he was a child and I said devotions to him at night and gave him a bath. What do I do with him now? Practically nothing.

I didn't ask for quotes of what Baha'u'llah said. It is not sufficient for any of us what Baha'u'llah said. I know the same quotes and I don't feel detached from a lot of things. What causes you to not want things of this world? Think deeply about this. Do you meditate on these quotes or what?

 

[Trailblazer]

@Trailblazer , I'm sad to read about your present sadness list.
Was it the Buddha that told us to 'not need'?
Anyway, I think the trick is to adjust your mind in order to reduce your 'wanted' list.
And to think of ways to discard things that you are terrified of losing.

I don't have a sadness list, I just have some ongoing life circumstances that are difficult. I am not afraid of losing anything except my job. As you may recall I don't need my job for the money it brings in but I love my job and my boss and the other staff so I was going to work a while longer, until I was ready to retire. Being fired because I refuse to be vaccinated when I never go to the office but work at home is just ridiculous, but it will be what it will be.

I'm not wise enough to have succeeded in any of this, I just got lucky.... I found the right spouse.

Finding the right spouse is more than half of life's battle but that is your second wife. I have only had one husband and the rest is history. Yes you got lucky and that is how fate is. My brother was married twice because his first wife of 27 years died of cancer and both marriages have been very happy ones. I got married three weeks after I met my husband over 36 years ago and it has been an uphill battle mostly because our temperaments clash and we both had childhood issues. We are both Baha'is of many decades and we both love cats but those other issues make life very difficult at times, usually only when we talk.

 

[Trailblazer]

So it's either your job is over, or getting clearance or whatever the term is from your counselor? Or is it your doctor? My memory is fuzzy, I got earlier than I am used to because Michael came at that time, so I'm tired.

I will probably get an accommodation from my counselor because I have longstanding and ongoing mental health issues. We already discussed it and she said she could at least buy me a few months. That is not the same as an exemption, by which one is permanently exempted for taking the vaccine. To get an exemption one needs to have a medical condition that makes it impossible to be vaccinated. There is also a religious exemption but that won't work for a Baha'i. I know people are asking for religious exemptions but I think many will have to lie to get them and I refuse to lie for any reason, so it is best to be honest and hope my mental-emotional condition gets me an accommodation. By the time it expires, if it does, this whole thing from the governor might be overthrown by the legislature, as it was so unjust.

 

[Trailblazer]

I see you saw my veiled message. There's also a genetic component like with my son or for that matter with my brothers. For them it is all genetic components. What I aid earlier though is a little misleading. My son has learned to do things under other people's care that has surprised me. We didn't know what to do with him, but they did. That confirms my wife was right to give him up to live away from us under other people's care 24/7. It makes me sad to tell you this, nevertheless, because I miss those days when he was a child and I said devotions to him at night and gave him a bath. What do I do with him now? Practically nothing.

Well, at least you had some time with him in his earlier years and he is in good care now. Also, you will see him in the afterlife and he will have no autism. We never had children so it is hard to relate to how you feel on a personal level yet I can imagine it.

I didn't ask for quotes of what Baha'u'llah said. It is not sufficient for any of us what Baha'u'llah said. I know the same quotes and I don't feel detached from a lot of things. What causes you to not want things of this world? Think deeply about this. Do you meditate on these quotes or what?

I took those quotes to heart the first time I read them and there are many more like them. I do not know why I feel detached from the worldly things other than that is what Baha'u'llah has enjoined us to be, and I take Him very seriously. Why would I want what is not good for me? That does not even make logical sense.

What is it you are attached to? I don't see you as worldly. Just liking to watch football and some TV programs does not make you worldly. I love nature, animals and trees and beautiful scenery and living in the country but I don't consider that worldly. Baha'u'llah also loved the country and nature.

 

[ChristineM]

Are you living the life you want?

Yes,

 

[ChristineM]

Are you living the life you want? Are you living the life you chose? I guess if you are happy with your life you probably don’t think about this much, but what about people who are not happy with their lives? What about people who wish their lives were different? Have you ever tried to make any major changes in your life? Do you feel stuck, as if you really have no free will to change? Are you ashamed or embarrassed to admit everything is not just perfect on this forum, as if it is somehow YOUR fault?

I’m not ashamed or embarrassed, because I know it is not my fault things have turned out this way since I have spent most of my life trying to improve my life while also doing what I believed would benefit others, ever since I went into recovery 37 years ago. However, I believe that free will is very limited and much of what happens in life is preordained by God. What do you think?

I think about this often and I am at a turning point so I am thinking about it a lot right now. I might have to make some changes that will greatly impact my life and I might choose to make some changes that will greatly impact my life. Sometimes I feel as if God is guiding me along in the direction He wants me to go, so will God guide me through these changes if I have to make them or choose to make them?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

On another note, I know that if I followed my own selfish desires I would not be living the way I am living. I would be thinking about “what I want” rather than what God wants for me.

I want to do God’s will and I keep thinking of what Jesus said:

Luke 9:23-24 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.

John 12:24-25 Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.

Matthew 6:19-21 Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

My religion has the same teachings, so that further corroborates what Jesus said. I often wonder how Christians interpret these verses when I listen to Christian radio and they are talking about how they love their lives and all the things they love about this world, food, drink, etc. Do I take these verses too seriously? Why would Jesus say what He did not mean?

Sometimes it is really hard to not think of myself and what I want, but so far what I want more is to live the way my religion teaches me to live, which is the same as what Jesus taught. Either that or I feel it would be better for me to drop out of my religion and start living for myself and all the world has to offer, because I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I could start living for myself right now if I wanted to and if I had free will.

However, I am not sure I want to live for myself, and even if I wanted to I don’t know if I have free will to change the way I have been living for so long and set out on an entirely new path. If this is the life that God has preordained for me I don’t really have a choice. However, even if God preordained some things I don’t believe that everything is preordained as I believe we are free to make some of our own choices, particularly our moral choices.

If I sound somewhat conflicted that is because I am. I want to love God and follow the teachings of Jesus and Baha’u’llah but another part of me wants nothing to do with God or religion owing to a lot of hurt they have caused me. However, it is not as if I love the worldly things of this life either, but since everyone else seems to love worldly things, I feel very much alone.

I am sorry this is so long, but my life situation has finally come to a head. I try to be completely self-sufficient but no man is an island.

Thanks for listening, Trailblazer.

You can do whatever you need to do to improve your life, in your case so long as it is accepted by your faith. You have the free will to make change. It seems to me you are not willing to upset the status quo.

Using myself as an example, i have made several major changes in my life, none (well perhaps one) that you could object to. And its worked out after years of hatd work.

I wish you the best of luck in seeing your way forward.

 

[viole]

and much of what happens in life is preordained by God. What do you think?

I think there is no God preordaining anything. And, considering all the suffering in the world, that is the real excuse He really has: to not exist.

Ciao

- viole

 

[syo]

I only wish I had more money. All else is perfect.