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Atheists: Does your Disbelief Bother your Families?

Alceste

Vagabond
Hi, MSizer, looking at the bible as a story / allegory / metaphor / source of inspiration is not "cognitive dissonance" any more than looking at any work of fiction. The cognitive dissonance is only required for those who look at it as a literally true, infallible account of the history of the human race.

I look at the tao te ching as a holy book (not the only one), but I don't believe there are literally only "ten thousand things" in the world.
 

Alceste

Vagabond
No issues being an atheist in my family. My brother's a bit of an anti-religionist, my father's a... well I don't know. Very informed, I guess. Studied to be a minister, but that was the United Church of Canada where believing in the fairy tale stuff is not required. My mother stopped taking us to church after we went on a canoe trip in the wilderness and she decided she felt closer to God there than she ever had in church.

So, I suppose it's a family of independent thinkers more than anything else, and everybody's got their own personal beliefs. So I don't have problems unless they get the impression I believe in something weird.

Actually, come to think of it, there are some stumbling blocks with respect to my being a bit of an apophatic mystic, because I don't believe in anything, including disbelief, and they find that confusing. For my brother in particular, you have to pick belief or disbelief. I pick neither belief nor disbelief. I just like a good narrative.

Around here, it's actually hard to tell who's religious and who isn't. It's not something that comes up. My best friend and her husband are Pentecostal, and I'd have expected them to be banging on about it all the time from what I know of that denomination, but it's never come up at all. They don't even say grace. Not when I'm there anyway.
 

Alceste

Vagabond
OH YEAH! There was one time when I spent Christmas with a Christian friend whose parents are the nutbar YEC type. (Very nice people though, I must say). That was awkward. She told me in a roundabout way once I'd arrived that I had to pretend to be a Christian if it came up or they'd disapprove of our friendship and she'd never hear the end of it. I'm not kidding you, I went to the bathroom and cried, wishing I'd never gone. There's no way I could ever pretend to be something I'm not. The rest of the night was enjoyable enough, but there was no booze and way too much praying and singing. Anyway, they weren't as bad as she made them out to be - I think she just thought it was funny to wind me up like that.
 

MSizer

MSizer
OH YEAH! There was one time when I spent Christmas with a Christian friend whose parents are the nutbar YEC type. (Very nice people though, I must say). That was awkward. She told me in a roundabout way once I'd arrived that I had to pretend to be a Christian if it came up or they'd disapprove of our friendship and she'd never hear the end of it. I'm not kidding you, I went to the bathroom and cried, wishing I'd never gone. There's no way I could ever pretend to be something I'm not. The rest of the night was enjoyable enough, but there was no booze and way too much praying and singing. Anyway, they weren't as bad as she made them out to be - I think she just thought it was funny to wind me up like that.

I love your kitty avatar. It reminds me of a (sadly missed) cat that belonged to my wife's friend. They had to keep the bathroom door closed, or else the cat would constantly flush the toilet. :D
 

9-10ths_Penguin

1/10 Subway Stalinist
Premium Member
I've had one person close to me burst into tears out of worry for my soul. And I try to avoid the topic around my mother- and father-in-law - I think for them, the fact I'm not Catholic is bad enough as it is.
 

MSizer

MSizer
I've had one person close to me burst into tears out of worry for my soul. And I try to avoid the topic around my mother- and father-in-law - I think for them, the fact I'm not Catholic is bad enough as it is.

Yeah, I can relate to some degree. I have an in-law who respectfully witholds her strong opinions, but the occasional little blurted hint comes out once in a while, which tends to maintain a certain degree of discomfort.
 

SoundBrain

Member
Hi everyone!! this is my first post. I loved this particular thread, so I joined this forum.

I come from a Hindu family in South India. My parents have a huge belief in the presence of God/Gods, but they are pretty secular when it comes to other religions And so I had a lot of freedom to think and discuss with them.

I have been researching about religions and 'why' they they were born( I love history! ). And the closest one to my heart is Buddhism which was created against Hinduism in reality ( But the history books in India won't reveal anything but wrong stuff). One of the reasons for me being an Atheist is because of a HUGE FLAW in Hinduism which in reality is not the part of the religion but was forcefully introduced into it by foreigners -- Caste system.

After years of thinking and reasoning I am a mature and peaceful Atheist now. But my mom has difficulty accepting my there-cannot-be-a-god thoughts. And the annoying thing is that they think I will eventually understand the "truth" and come back! I think its probably because of my age (22 :)). But tats okay as for now since I don't argue with them about these. I am not married yet.. he he.
 
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MSizer

MSizer
But my mom has difficulty accepting my there-cannot-be-a-god thoughts. And the annoying thing is that they think I will eventually understand the "truth" and come back! I think its probably because of my age (22 :)). But tats okay as for now since I don't argue with them about these. I am not married yet.. he he.

Don't be surprised if she never changes her opinion on that. It used to bother me deeply that my dad is an intelligent man, yet completely ignores the obvious lack of evidence for god. I now know that belief is a complex state of the mind which is not entirely by choice, so I've been able to relax about it and focus more on how to accept it rather than "point out to him how he's wrong".

8^)
 

SoundBrain

Member
Yeah. In the beginning, I used to have hot-headed debates all the time with my friends and family. so it was quite restless those days. But constant pondering over the stuff gave me maturity and I don't try to force my opinions into others, since I know that forcing opinions are one of those characteristics of religious people I don't like.
 

Hitchey

Member
Yes it was a bit tongue in cheek, I would respect and accept most moderate views of religion, however there is a more sinister aspect to this that has darkly affected my familys life, that makes me particularly guarded about any who take religion too seriously.

Cult Help and Information - Beyond reason - his strict religious beliefs were driving them apart


Carmen was my fathers sister, my aunt.

This is the reason I am so vigourous challenging the religious to examine their axioms and getting a reality check.
Cheers
A tragic tale. Thanks for sharing.
 

Hitchey

Member
I am just curious as to how many non-believers struggle in relationships with family members who disagree with them. I'm pretty fortunate in that my family consists mostly of liberal christians who respect my position. Anyone who is not so lucky? Mind sharing any stories about it?
Interesting thread. The atheists in my immediate family hold a slight majority position, so I really don't experience any negative reactions close to home. Beyond the family I generally maintian my silence. Outside a select number of friends few people know my views. My experience has been that my atheism is not always well received.
 

MissAlice

Well-Known Member
No one cares except my grandma from my dad's side of the family.

Lately however she's been a little more accepting than she use to be. She knows that I don't reply whenever she sends me nothing but forwarded mail about miracles. So she's since then actually communicated to me via herself. In some ways I wonder if she uses religion as a means from actually connecting. Use to be nothing but how great Jesus was and what their little church was doing for those in Africa with AIDS....which I highly respect given the hard work she's put into it. But I feel like finally we can just talk like normal people and yes sometimes she goes into her obsessive works and stories of god and whatnot but not as bad as she use to be.

No wonder my dad didn't take us to church or have any fervent belief in the matter of religion....:rolleyes:
 
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