They have control of what they do to their bodies. They have control of the actions they can take. They. Have. Control. I am holding them accountable for the choices they make. If they are making genuine attempts to better themselves or there is a legitimate problem that prevents them from doing so, you won't hear a peep from me. But if someone whose weight starts with a 3 whines about how hard it is being fat while doing nothing, they will get no sympathy from me. The posters on this thread who are subscribing to the outliers are really frustrating me because you are ignoring the majority of cases in an attempt to take pot shots at me to make me feel guilty. No dice.
I understand about assuming responsibility and doing what one can. I do. I've acknowledged that.
There isn't really that much that can be said about "the majority" of cases other than
the first place to look for dealing with weight issues is with diet and exercise. The cause is the place to address the problem. No argument there. When it is simply a matter of diet and exercise, sure, the most helpful advice is, "Eat better and move more!"
What I am trying to get through to you is taking the position that you know what is going on with someone is so wrong. Let me put it this way. I know someone that recently died from a terribly long battle with cancer. She was a most wonderful woman that I've known my whole life. She struggled with her weight, and even though growing up in the same household, none of her siblings had the same kind of weight issue. Along with other health problems, and even during parts of the times she was in cancer treatment, she was over-weight. She tried very hard to be healthy. She ate organic food, did portion control, tried medical approaches -- everything she could think of. She tried exercise off and on, but a knee injury from her youth would be aggravated, and would limit her. After her family, weight/health/diet was the next major focus for her.
A person simply asking her if she exercised, who felt justified on going all "tough love" on her, would really have just been IMO a judgmental jerk speaking out of his/her own ignorance. Now, I'm guessing you would not go all tough love on a person you knew was going through that. But, how would you know? She didn't reveal her medical issues to everyone. Other people didn't necessarily know.
Do people really come up to you, without you bringing up the subject of their weight, just start complaining to you about how hard it is to lose weight? Are they coming to you for a solution, and rejecting the advise they have searched you out for? Or is this just a gossip session about fat people in general?
