Bill Cosby.....You Know You Wanna Discuss It.

[Father Heathen]

In court proceedings it should be against the law to put any blame on the victim. The victim should never be put on trial by anyone. BUT some rapes might not happen IF all people will be more careful about who they will TRUST.

This is true. You could say that they made a poor judgement call, but it still doesn't make them responsible or at fault for what another person decides to do to them, nor does it lessen the guilt or accountability of the assailant.

 

[Father Heathen]

Should women take precautions?

Of course, everyone should take
precautions, but unless you want to live your life sealed away from the world everything still carries risk.

 

[savagewind]

I did read it wrong. The placing of the key causes the explosion. Oh.

 

[savagewind]

This is true. You could say that they made a poor judgement call, but it still doesn't make them responsible or at fault for what another person decides to do to them, nor does it lessen the guilt or accountability of the assailant.

Did Robert ever say "at fault" or "responsible" for the rape? I think not. Their fault is not connected to the rape at all. Their fault is being somewhere they shouldn't be. Mommy says "don't talk to strangers dear". Not only did the women talk to a strange man but they were alone with him. It is everybody's responsibility to be smart about who to trust.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Did Robert ever say "at fault" or "responsible" for the rape? I think not. Their fault is not connected to the rape at all. Their fault is being somewhere they shouldn't be. Mommy says "don't talk to strangers dear". Not only did the women talk to a strange man but they were alone with him. It is everybody's responsibility to be smart about who to trust.

No fault, but fault? *facepalm*

Please, keep attempting to place more undue burden on the women who were assaulted.

How do we warn boys how not to get raped? I've asked this question for years on RF, and have yet to receive a suitable answer. And after being accused of not caring about male victims of rape, I'd like to hear those who rail about male victims being ignored how they should be taking precautions.

I have my approaches on how to address the problem of rape culture overall, which includes the reduction of male and female victims of sexual assault no matter their age, but surely others would like to chime in?

 

[savagewind]

No fault, but fault? *facepalm*

Please, keep attempting to place more undue burden on the women who were assaulted.

How do we warn boys how not to get raped? I've asked this question for years on RF, and have yet to receive a suitable answer. And after being accused of not caring about male victims of rape, I'd like to hear those who rail about male victims being ignored how they should be taking precautions.

I have my approaches on how to address the problem of rape culture overall, which includes the reduction of male and female victims of sexual assault no matter their age, but surely others would like to chime in?

Are you saying there is no fault for choosing to be with a bad person?

 

[savagewind]

Many rapes are perpetrated against people being in the right place but at the wrong time. There is no choice involved. Robert is talking about CHOICE. The women Bill (not any other rape are we talking about) CHOSE to be with him.

 

[savagewind]

It seems to me your mission is blinding you. Fault comes with choosing to be with someone who ends up raping you. Is the person at fault for the rape? NO!!!!!! Can you see what fault there is in being with a rapist by choice? She didn't know or he didn't know his or her date was a rapist. Then why go on a date with him or her and be alone with him or her IF YOU DON'T KNOW?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Are you saying there is no fault for choosing to be with a bad person?

Please. You're buying into the "monster" myth, that rapists walk around with the word "criminal" on their foreheads, and that victims know this and choose to be with bad people. It doesn't work like that.

Do you say the same thing about the victims of Jeffrey Dahmer or Son of Sam? That they were at fault for choosing to be with bad people? I don't. Because that's a horrible thing to say.

 

[savagewind]

Please. You're buying into the "monster" myth, that rapists walk around with the word "criminal" on their foreheads, and that victims know this and choose to be with bad people. It doesn't work like that.

Do you say the same thing about the victims of Jeffrey Dahmer or Son of Sam? That they were at fault for choosing to be with bad people? I don't. Because that's a horrible thing to say.

If those people were adult and were not taken against their will then YES their fault was trusting him (I don't know the circumstances and do not wish to know unless they will make you look like your not wasting your time with me)

 

[MysticSang'ha]

It seems to me your mission is blinding you. Fault comes with choosing to be with someone who ends up raping you. Is the person at fault for the rape? NO!!!!!! Can you see what fault there is in being with a rapist by choice? She didn't know or he didn't know his or her date was a rapist. Then why go on a date with him or her and be alone with him or her IF YOU DON'T KNOW?

I'm not blind. I'm fully aware of where the major problems lie. The overwhelming number of sexual assaults are committed by people the victims know and trust. A relationship is developed on some level so that trust is attained. It's committed at all levels of intimacy in relationships, from stranger rape to date rape to partner rape to marital rape. And in all scenarios, one constant is present: the perpetrator first dehumanizes the victim, and then decides to take what he or she wants from the victim with the assumption that it all is consensual - or that the victim was not clear with any boundaries.

I was assaulted, and I was also burglarized. Both scenarios resulted in feeling violated, but nobody has ever suggested that I was at fault in any way shape or form for the burglary. On the other hand, the word "fault" has come up more than enough for the circumstances leading up to the assault.

Suggesting that a victim is at fault in any way hurts the efforts to reduce the number of sexual assaults. Please stop, and focus on what actually helps.

 

[savagewind]

But why would a person keep company with anyone who is dehumanizing him or her if he or she has a choice? The fault is all their own for keeping company with such a person.

 

[savagewind]

I'm not blind. I'm fully aware of where the major problems lie. The overwhelming number of sexual assaults are committed by people the victims know and trust. A relationship is developed on some level so that trust is attained. It's committed at all levels of intimacy in relationships, from stranger rape to date rape to partner rape to marital rape. And in all scenarios, one constant is present: the perpetrator first dehumanizes the victim, and then decides to take what he or she wants from the victim with the assumption that it all is consensual - or that the victim was not clear with any boundaries.

I was assaulted, and I was also burglarized. Both scenarios resulted in feeling violated, but nobody has ever suggested that I was at fault in any way shape or form for the burglary. On the other hand, the word "fault" has come up more than enough for the circumstances leading up to the assault.

Suggesting that a victim is at fault in any way hurts the efforts to reduce the number of sexual assaults. Please stop, and focus on what actually helps.

You are not blind you are deaf. The crime is not the victim's fault. Ever never not ever. TRUSTING bad people is a fault.

 

[savagewind]

I have been raped. The rapes were by BAD people. I have never been raped by GOOD people. The lesson is (if you will allow it) STAY AWAY FROM BAD PEOPLE.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

But why would a person keep company with anyone who is dehumanizing him or her if he or she has a choice? They fault is all their own for keeping company with such a person.

For the same reasons that battered men and battered women stay with their abusive spouses. Gaslighting, fraud, and belittling are ways that a person can be henpecked into nothing. It can happen violently in an acute manner, or it can happen over weeks at a time. Economic situations, where one partner can feel at the mercy financially, educationally, in employment, in housing, or in transportation...abuse of power can be wielded that can result in the systemic dehumanization of another.

Cosby, remember, fooled everybody into thinking he was a good guy. This has been going on for years and years, and yet now people are becoming aware. If WE didn't see it for 30 years, in spite of his record, how could any woman be faulted for trusting his motives?

Again, please stop using the word "fault." People make bad judgements all the time. Justice is not found in seeking how the victim brought it on himself or herself. That's a social custom found in rape culture.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

You are not blind you are deaf. The crime is not the victim's fault. Ever never not ever. TRUSTING bad people is a fault.

I can hear just fine, thank you.

Trusting bad people is not a crime. Stop finding ways to blame the victim.

 

[Revoltingest]

Many rapes are perpetrated against people being in the right place but at the wrong time. There is no choice involved. Robert is talking about CHOICE. The women Bill (not any other rape are we talking about) CHOSE to be with him.

I don't think a reasonable person would see Cosby as a threat though. His public persona was so positive. Regarding his assaults, I say the overwhelmingly important issue is preventing guys like him from using their money, threats & power to get away with it with serial assaults for so long.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I have been raped. The rapes were by BAD people. I have never been raped by GOOD people. The lesson is (if you will allow it) STAY AWAY FROM BAD PEOPLE.

Let's make this two-fold. Shall we?

The lesson actually is, 1) Be prepared to defend oneself, and 2) Don't rape people.

 

[Dayman]

In an interview on NPR, he was asked about the rape allegations and was absolutely silent refusing to even comment. I can't put myself in his shoes, but that definitely made him seem guilty of something.

 

[savagewind]

OK. Fault by definition is weakness imo. Victims do not bring crime upon themselves. True.