Sounds overly political. Obama has been sending cheap appliances and boomboxes into urban areas all over our country for almost a full decade. That he's trying to create micropoverties and deplete our power supply at the same time isn't just a minor menace, it's a downright abuse of our readiness for the Apocalypse when Beelzebub's regiments of evil pour down upon us to claim the balance of souls that do not escape in the sucktastic lie of the heathens' Rapture fantasy.
I can take the hopelessness of the situation. Clearly, the propaganda evident in children's video games and nubile/violent Pokemon cards demonstrate that we have a few years, if not months remaining before the war begins to be conducted out in the open. Even the sabotage of our righteous and pure values with abominations like IMO soccer-homosexuality, autism-inducing poisons and Beyoncé are "treatable" with patience and prayer. It's the apathy of those who once defended the faith with courage and resolve, who today give me momentary bouts of depression.
The flowers will die. The sun will cause more to arise
tomorrow, even as the lingering smells of brimstone and asparagus encroach on us like the last of the Pat Boone albums. Having a pet helps the anguish, so long as your don't become too attached. (Think of your little cockapoo or Maltese as a walking food supply, should times become too tough - Christ has provided you a tasty meal, should you need it!) As we cast off the wheelchairs that signify false solutions to our declining health, we must remember to be strong:
(1) Don't trust the authorities! Black helicopters are real; just because they're not about crazy stupid X-Files conspiracies doesn't mean they're not listening in on our conversations and inserting subliminal messages into our music, shower patterns and Pop Tart selection.
(2) Arm yourself with as many weapons as possible. These must be both spiritual and physical. Myself, we have numerous firearms, and my husband fashions improvised knives from antlers and pointy sticks that he finds while taking evening walks. If you are prevented from having traditional guns, blades and explosives, consider taking sporting goods equipment from stores -- these won't be needed in the End Times anyway.
(3) Pray often, and publicly. Throw in words like "Jimmy", and "yo" if you think you need to camouflage your intention among violent heathens.
With Christ, all things are possible.