I experienced the same ... stop running around (in the mind) is the key
Good part is that at least you know what is in store of you. Should be a good incentive to work hard. But I am surprised that I have so much laziness in me in regard to doing hard spiritual work. But my Master explained it wonderfully "the wheel of past karma takes awhile before it stops"
Happy to meet another fellow human being that reached that "place".
My friend, you're right, now I know but I can't "get back" to it at all, now I feel 1000 times more distant from my own Self than I ever felt in my entire live... do you have a Master? I have no one, I did everything on my own.. I did many experiments to see what works and what does not work. This NDE like experience came out of nowhere, I was not expecting it at all, maybe I really died in my sleep and this is how I got to that "place", I say "place", the thing is that it is here, I know it, I just know.. but I can't live it...
I don't think you are lazy, I think you do not really want to move that fast, you already know what's there.. at the end.