Children and how to talk with them about matters of belief

[LuisDantas]

It doesn't sound bad. Also I think you should not be expected to answer questions from strangers about your income, level of education, position, your marriage status, number of children and other personal items. In some places it is common to ask these things and more polite to lie than to refuse. I prefer rather than lying to not be asked by strangers.

I somewhat disagree, and I definitely see a strong downside to that state of things. People are IMO entitled to some measure of warning of what to expect from other people's values and ideologies, including the religious.

Actively hiding those borders on hostility and disrespect. At the very least, it denies people the opportunity to prepare for delicate situations.

Do you feel that is hypocrisy?

Nope. It is not hypocrisy per se, and there is an upside of inclusiveness and acceptance to it.

All the same, it may encourage and enable hypocritical attitudes that should IMO be actively avoided. No one is doing me any favors by presuming anything about my beliefs without my input.

There is definitely a place for such inclusiveness, and I am grateful for it. But it does require a complemental effort of pointing out that people have their own minds, their own beliefs, and conformity should not be expected nor taken for granted.

Its possible, but it could be that in order to avoid conflict people have stopped talking about it. It reminds me of how people tend to clump into tribes that don't talk to each other. Go to a diverse university campus, and you will see this clumping. You will see many individuals walking alone speaking with no one, and you will see small groups talking together. What you will not see are random strangers constantly talking to everyone they can.

Word reached me that at least some schools actively avoid keeping brothers in the same classroom, presumably because there is value in mixing a bit and encouraging wider awareness and acceptance of other people.

While that is a very different situation from that of inclusive religious services, I think that some of the same concerns apply. There is such a thing as being too confortable with an environment.

My extended family is separated by long distances. I barely know any cousins but have many. My approach has been to try to be honest with siblings, but I don't speak to them frequently about religion and not with cousins at all. I have not tried to educate their kids about my own opinions, either. Its not my place to interfere in the rearing of children that I barely have any responsibility for.

Admittedly, I have a bit of a fringe opinion on this matter. Still, I think that what you describe here is a significantly different situation. If you have reason to expect to have very eventual and distant contact with people, it stands to reason that there is comparatively lesser reason to worry about your impact on them, and vice-versa.

What I am describing is a situation where there is reason to expect frequent exposure, but also an expectation of a measure of obfuscation and silence that I find quite excessive, if not abusive.

I don't think it is even all that different from the very natural desire to know a bit about the personal background of people who one deal with often, particularly when one's children are a part of that exposure. You will want to know about their families, places of origin, occupations and goals. Why would it be any different about their religious views and goals, if any?

 

[Jumi]

I would probably not discuss religions with them at all, keeping to factual things.

 

[Revoltingest]

I would probably not discuss religions with them at all, keeping to factual things.

It was easy.
I explained to both kids how people made
up gods for comfort & understanding reality.
Then they got to decide what they believe.
Daughter even went to church with a friend
briefly. I gave her no grief for this.

 

[LuisDantas]

It was easy.
I explained to both kids how people made
up gods for comfort & understanding reality.
Then they got to decide what they believe.
Daughter even went to church with a friend
briefly. I gave her no grief for this.

I hope you had the good fortune not to be given grief by people who thought of that as "cruel".

 

[Revoltingest]

I hope you had the good fortune not to be given grief by people who thought of that as "cruel".

Never heard a complaint from anyone.

 

[LuisDantas]

Never heard a complaint from anyone.

I envy you on that regard.

 

[Revoltingest]

I envy you on that regard.

I chalk it up to living right.

 

[Jumi]

It was easy.
I explained to both kids how people made
up gods for comfort & understanding reality.

Saying "what gods are" amounts to passing your belief though you do not see it as such. I don't say you're wrong to pass your own perceptions to kids that you think would serve them.

 

[Revoltingest]

Saying "what gods are" amounts to passing your belief though you do not see it as such. .

Au contraire, I did intend to pass on my beliefs (actually knowledge).
Before anyone tries to corrupt them, I set'm straight.
But if belief ever calls to one, my gift of wisdom won't stop them.

 

[dybmh]

My nephews were proselytized by their neighbors when they were young ( 6 and 8 ) without my brothers knowledge...

My brother was pretty upset. The neighbor's gave his kids bibles and everything.

Very uncool... in my opinion.

What would you do in a situation like that?
@LuisDantas?
@Revoltingest ?

 

[LuisDantas]

My nephews were proselytized by their neighbors when they were young ( 6 and 8 ) without my brothers knowledge...

My brother was pretty upset. The neighbor's gave his kids bibles and everything.

Very uncool... in my opinion.

What would you do in a situation like that?
@LuisDantas?
@Revoltingest ?

I would bring the matter to them and point out that they would need to ask for permission first.

Which, of course, I would refuse if I had any call. No one without legal powers will teach children to "fear god" if I can help it.

If the deed is done, I would then attempt to explain to them about diversity of beliefs as swiftly and gently as possible.

Were they my kids, odds are that I would have done that since the 4 years of age or so. I am very open about religious matters. By the time they were six, odds are that they would have given the preachers a run for their money on their own.

 

[Revoltingest]

My nephews were proselytized by their neighbors when they were young ( 6 and 8 ) without my brothers knowledge...

My brother was pretty upset. The neighbor's gave his kids bibles and everything.

Very uncool... in my opinion.

What would you do in a situation like that?
@LuisDantas?
@Revoltingest ?

I'd just explain things to my kids.
When I was a kid, neighbors proselytized to us.
Atheism won out.

 

[LuisDantas]

I'd just explain things to my kids.
When I was a kid, neighbors proselytized to us.
Atheism won out.

Kuffar unite!

 

[Dan Mellis]

I think most kids taught to think for themselves will grow up to be atheists in some way or another. Hence, the issue that a lot of religious people have with secularism. If their beliefs aren't held up as examples for everyone to follow, and taught early, then anyone who can think for themselves will likely see through them.

Imagine if, as an adult, someone came along and said

"you know, you were born evil. But that's ok, a white middle eastern man who was his own dad suffered 2000 years ago so you don't have to - but only if you believe me. Otherwise you'll suffer when you die. Also, dont doubt me because dead sky dad can read your mind."

It's just not that convincing unless you're brought up with it being normalised. While I think all religion should be taught, skepticism should be the default position.

 

[mistoftime]

As a matter of general knowledge children should be told about the world religions, but should always be permitted to decide for themselves whether they believe in a god or not.