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Christians - what is your answer to a simple question
- Thread starter michel
- Start date
sandandfoam
Veteran Member
Once they're over 18 - yes, it's their own business.
Midnight Pete
Well-Known Member
Absolutely not. Pre-marital sex isn't something I would encourage under my roof.
Wait, Admiral Ackbar is trying to tell me something. This thread might be a trap!
Faithfreedom
i gotta change my avatar
Are they same sex or different?
If same sex, no problem. (by "partner" i'm assuming you mean a friend?)
If not, then no way!
Because its a cultural thing from where i come from (so its automatically unthinkable)
btw, if you mean a sexual partner of the same sex, that too is unthinkable in my circles. (but you have set me thinking on this what if scenario. I conclude that the chances of me encountering such, is slim that there's no point of pondering on it now; I'll cross that bridge when i come to it)
It depends on their age. Once my daughter is 18, she has to make up her own mind about such things. But I would tell her that I don't approve of it, if she asks and that I think it borders on disrespect (for my feelings). My husband, however, probably wouldn't allow it My sons are special needs, so I don't think I will have to worry about those things.
I think this may be a trick question with no good to come.
Please clarify with details. Partner is a very broad term and somewhat jaded (sex partner). Your question does not infer sex directly, but everyone is going there.
If someone needs a place to sleep, they're welcome.
Please clarify with details. Partner is a very broad term and somewhat jaded (sex partner). Your question does not infer sex directly, but everyone is going there.
If someone needs a place to sleep, they're welcome.
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
It depends on how old my daughters were, to be honest. I wouldn't object if they were adults, especially if they were paying me a visit. I'd rather have them in my home than push them away, to share a bed with their partner elsewhere.
tomato1236
Ninja Master
Nope. My son or daughter would certainly know the standards I've taught, and the rules of the household. I would take it as an act of intense disrespect. Also, I would feel that extra-marital sex, or activities that naturally lead thereto, like sharing a bed, would trigger a desire in me to protect my kid, no matter how old they were, or whether or not they agreed with what I taught them. They can do as they please when I'm not looking, but they would certainly know what I expect of them, and that is to show me respect when in my home.
Not a chance in hell. :no:
wordmagnifiedabovenames
Active Member
I don't have kids yet, but the short answer would be "no."
To elaborate, as the terms "partner" and "spend the night" were not clearly defined in the OP;
If it's a case of a friend who is the same sex as my son/daughter needing a place to crash; that's what the couch/guest room/fold away bed/air matress/floor/tent in the backyard etc. is for.
If it's someone of the opposite sex, regardless of their relationship status with my son/daughter then I'd drive the friend home myself. In the unlikely event that doing so was not possible I'd organise alternative accommodation arrangements that would mean that a friend of the opposite sex of my son/daughter would not be spending the night in the same house as them. The reasons for this are: (some are more applicable if they're in a romantic relationship, as opposed to being "just friends," but they're still relevant)
Not creating stumbling blocks (I imagine I'd know my own kids fairly well, but potentially wouldn't know their friends very well. The friend spending the night could potentially find that doing so is a stumbling block.)
Not giving rise to temptation (my son/daughter may be supremely confident in their own abilities to control themselves and behave appropriately, but they could be wrong when presented with the temptation. I'd also have no such guarentees about their "partner's" ability to behave appropriately.)
The bible teaches that it's pretty bad for an adult to cause a child to sin.
Even if I could guarentee that everything that would happen would be competely innocent, the Bible teaches that it's important to not have the appearance of sin.
The Bible says to "flee fornication," not "see how close to the line you can get."
Having rumours start about teenagers/young adults/old adults of the opposite sex spending the night at each others houses, and their parents approving of such activities, is not helpful, and can create all sorts of problems, especially if the rumours are true.
All of this is sort of a moot point for me though. Hopefully by the time my potential kids are in a "partner" relationship I will have trained them up in the ways of the Lord enough so that they'll know for themselves that God doesn't approve of sharing a bed outside of marriage (or even in marriage, if you're not sharing it with the person to whom you are married.) They'll also know that I don't approve. As such the situation of my son/daughter bringing their "partner" home to "spend the night" would not arise.
Even if the situation did arise and both parties were legally past the age of consent, or are legally considered adults etc. it'd still be a case of "my house-my rules."
Reagrdless of their age, I'd still be my son/daughter's father, and if they're not married then as spiritual head of the household I'd still (at least partially) be spiritually responsible for them (and judged accordingly.) I wouldn't like to get to judgement and God say "You've sinned by helping your son/daughter to be sexually immoral, and in doing so caused him/her to sin." I don't want my response to be "the Government thought that in the 24 hours it took from my son/daughter to go from being 17 to 18, he/she somehow became old enough and mature enough to be responsible for his/her own actions. The Govennment doesn't hold me responsible for his/her actions, so You, God, shouldn't hold me responsible either."
As such, the answer would still be "no."
To elaborate, as the terms "partner" and "spend the night" were not clearly defined in the OP;
If it's a case of a friend who is the same sex as my son/daughter needing a place to crash; that's what the couch/guest room/fold away bed/air matress/floor/tent in the backyard etc. is for.
If it's someone of the opposite sex, regardless of their relationship status with my son/daughter then I'd drive the friend home myself. In the unlikely event that doing so was not possible I'd organise alternative accommodation arrangements that would mean that a friend of the opposite sex of my son/daughter would not be spending the night in the same house as them. The reasons for this are: (some are more applicable if they're in a romantic relationship, as opposed to being "just friends," but they're still relevant)
Not creating stumbling blocks (I imagine I'd know my own kids fairly well, but potentially wouldn't know their friends very well. The friend spending the night could potentially find that doing so is a stumbling block.)
Not giving rise to temptation (my son/daughter may be supremely confident in their own abilities to control themselves and behave appropriately, but they could be wrong when presented with the temptation. I'd also have no such guarentees about their "partner's" ability to behave appropriately.)
The bible teaches that it's pretty bad for an adult to cause a child to sin.
Even if I could guarentee that everything that would happen would be competely innocent, the Bible teaches that it's important to not have the appearance of sin.
The Bible says to "flee fornication," not "see how close to the line you can get."
Having rumours start about teenagers/young adults/old adults of the opposite sex spending the night at each others houses, and their parents approving of such activities, is not helpful, and can create all sorts of problems, especially if the rumours are true.
All of this is sort of a moot point for me though. Hopefully by the time my potential kids are in a "partner" relationship I will have trained them up in the ways of the Lord enough so that they'll know for themselves that God doesn't approve of sharing a bed outside of marriage (or even in marriage, if you're not sharing it with the person to whom you are married.) They'll also know that I don't approve. As such the situation of my son/daughter bringing their "partner" home to "spend the night" would not arise.
Even if the situation did arise and both parties were legally past the age of consent, or are legally considered adults etc. it'd still be a case of "my house-my rules."
Reagrdless of their age, I'd still be my son/daughter's father, and if they're not married then as spiritual head of the household I'd still (at least partially) be spiritually responsible for them (and judged accordingly.) I wouldn't like to get to judgement and God say "You've sinned by helping your son/daughter to be sexually immoral, and in doing so caused him/her to sin." I don't want my response to be "the Government thought that in the 24 hours it took from my son/daughter to go from being 17 to 18, he/she somehow became old enough and mature enough to be responsible for his/her own actions. The Govennment doesn't hold me responsible for his/her actions, so You, God, shouldn't hold me responsible either."
As such, the answer would still be "no."
tomato1236
Ninja Master
I think this is like asking if you care about your kid or not.
Thesavorofpan
Is not going to save you.
Umm under eighteen and not gradurated from high school. Then no, no way. Especially if its my son. I'll tell him to sneak around like I did.
When there above eighteen. Its restricted to their room and I better not hear a thing. You know hearing your child getting it on wouldn't be the best thing to hear.
When there above eighteen. Its restricted to their room and I better not hear a thing. You know hearing your child getting it on wouldn't be the best thing to hear.
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
No. My kids know our household standards. We are also lucky enough to have several guest rooms and plenty of bathrooms, so no one would be uncomfortable. If two adults can't spend a night or two in separate bedrooms (no one is even asking them to sleep on the sofa!) out of respect for their parents, there are big problems that won't be overcome by simply letting them disregard the rules of the house.
Renji
Well-Known Member
Surely, my mom would say a lot of things (sermons
) if I bring a girl into our house and ask her to sleep with me on one bed, especially because I'm just 17. And I think, it's not a religious issue, but rather what the parents think of what is right for their children (motherly or fatherly instinct), in addition to house rules.
blackout
Violet.
What if your grown child is in a comitted live in relationship with his/her partner,
and they are coming in to visit from out of town,
but they are not legally (or "religiously") married.
Would those of you who responded no, really make them sleep in seperate rooms?
Similarly,
What if you had out of town guests,
maybe older relatives or old friends or buisness associates
and the couple was established
but not LEGALLY, or even "religiously" married.
Surely you wouldn't attempt to send them off to seperate rooms, would you?
(I'm betting they'd never come to visit you again if you did)
Thanks. Just wondering.
and they are coming in to visit from out of town,
but they are not legally (or "religiously") married.
Would those of you who responded no, really make them sleep in seperate rooms?
Similarly,
What if you had out of town guests,
maybe older relatives or old friends or buisness associates
and the couple was established
but not LEGALLY, or even "religiously" married.
Surely you wouldn't attempt to send them off to seperate rooms, would you?
(I'm betting they'd never come to visit you again if you did)
Thanks. Just wondering.
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Lets see what Bible has to say
You shall not commit adultery.Exodus 20:14
27 You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery. 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to desire her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away! It is better to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into hell. 30 If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away! It is better to lose one of your members than to have your whole body go into hell (Matthew 5:27-30).
And a certain ruler questioned Him, saying, "Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?" And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments, 'Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not bear false witness, honor your father and mother.'" (NAS, Luke 18:18-20)
Proverbs 6:32 "But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself."
blackout
Violet.
What makes someone (acceptably) married then?
A legal piece of paper?
A public promise?
A private promise?
A religious ceremony?
A symbolic article?
Again, just wondering.
Thanks.
Faithfreedom
i gotta change my avatar
Yes, because they know what's expected of them. I don't even have to "make them".
(of course, all this is hypothetically speaking; its very uncommon here).
If they are "committed" why not get married? If circumstances does not permit, then don't get started in such a relationship. Bad karma all round.
They will know what's expected of them.
(They are in my house. They know the society's norms. Its just for this visit. They should respect me.)
You're welcome. Just sharing.
Faithfreedom
i gotta change my avatar
Yes, a legal piece of paper.
Because we need law and order in any society.
I believe that a marriage is bigger than the married couple; society is involved.
Again, you are welcome.