A thing with no mass will travel at the maximum speed the universe allows, which is the speed of light. For something moving at the speed of light, time has to be zero, as otherwise that thing could move faster. Things with mass can move, using energy, and they move within frameworks of location and time coordinates at whatever speed they can manage. Those coordinates are localised. If you go shooting off from Earth, then change velocity, direction, then the coordinates where you are are localised to that place (as in the earlier post, changes in speed affect the experience of time), not to the place you set out from at uniform velocity. Re. the twins, if one shoots off into space, then turns around, that turning is a change of velocity.
I think it's the last sentence that is the issue, though. The universe operates however it operates. That it doesn't make sense to you means that you don't understand how it operates, that's all. That's true for anyone, really, I mean scientists wouldn't bother trying to find out how things work if they already had all the answers. It's an enormous mistake however to assume that because something doesn't fit into your immediate frame of reference it is therefore 'ridiculous'. That doesn't really mean anything. If you asked someone ask for a loaf of bread in a shop, in French, and the server replied in French and gave the punter a loaf, would you think it was ridiculous that the server gave him a loaf because you didn't understand what was said? That is the kind of mistake you are making.
On the other hand, you can use that sense of not understanding to find out more about how the universe works. You don't need me to tell you there are endless resources for that. You won't learn anything by trying to disprove anything before you have understood it though. You can't negate something until you know what it is.
Here is an interesting paradox. Since all photons travel at the speed of light, relative reference should make all photons appear to be a point, since an object traveling at the of light will appear contracted to a point. So how can photons display a wide range of wavelengths and not have all the wavelength reduce to one point size due to the speed of light?
In other words, if you had a train that was 100 meter long, and it approached the speed of light, based on the correct line of sight, the train would to appear to get shorter, and become a point length at the speed of light. Yet photons, of all wavelengths; long and short photon trains, at the speed of light, do not all get shorter wavelengths, but stay their original wavelength. This fact that they can stay greater than zero; point, tells me that photons are not under the same set of rules as mass and matter. Photons, by themselves, are not under relativity. When around mass and matter, the rules change.
General Relativity; gravity and the space-time profile, can cause photons to lower or increase wavelength. This will create an effect like going faster or slower due to relativity, but the speed of light does not change. In case, Mass is in charge of space-time and it is the space-time profile that is doing this, not the photon by itself.
Mass, due to gravity and the curative of space-time, can alter the wavelength of photons. However, protons, if we shined a billon flashlights to a center will not cause sustain space-time, like mass, unless we add a lot of continuous external energy. But if mass was present, at the center target, the photons would have more of an anti-space-time effect; heat and fluff out the mass density, so space-time expands.
A pure energy universe would not have a sustainable or stable space-time platform. Light coming to together, by chance, will go through each other; waves meet, add and move on. But mass cannot. Both GR and SR are mass dependent, and can attract, compact and stay put. Photons are different. Instead of a gradual accumulation, they can travel through each other, and will want to expand outward, to infinity, unless mass is in the way.
This difference can be modeled as photons being more of a bridge state between space-time and separated space and time; both can act on it and it has the properties of both; energy (enthalpy) and entropy.