Considering Leaving RF

[RabbiO]

An additional thought, metis. If you threatened to leave more often, other members would be so busy trying to say nice things about you that they wouldn't have time to fight with you.

Of course I wouldn't be busy. You already know the esteem in which I hold you so I'd have plenty of time to file particularly pestering posts.

 

[icehorse]

@metis I hope you stay.

 

[Eliab ben Benjamin]

@metis I hope you stay.

 

[sun rise]

@metis if after all of this you choose to leave, you know we'll hunt you down and haunt you until you come back., So you might as well put up with us in the flesh.

 

[Mindmaster]

I'm just one person here, and I know I'm expendable, but I really hope that some people here decide to "cool it" and not be so aggressive. I don't want to leave, but I'm not going to stay if I feel as uncomfortable as I do now.

Sadly, while I feel no one needs to feel repressed often the culprit is how we tolerate the abuse. I disagree strongly with many of the views here, and I am pretty open about it but I also don't let the resentment or toxic ramblings of others infect my soul. You serve nothing to leave in the face of the oppressor, or to become one and reduce your inner vibration to their level. These "vibrations" are why people fail to communicate, but it's usually just a matter of asking yourself whether you want to become the heartless nasty piece of crap that they are. It is easier to leave, of course, but if you have strong convictions they will carry you anyway.

And yeah, this board has an atheist mafia, a leftist mafia, and even a transgender one. I know all about them... (Just say one pro-Trump comment, lol.) Though it seems many of them have given up, at least in reference to me... So, I guess my advice is to stay your sail and do what you know to be right. Because they come from a place of hatred, they are immediately wrong in the spiritual sense anyway and even they know they are losers in the end. However, try to give 'em second and third chances... After all, they will grow as time goes on too.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

As much as I've enjoyed being here at RF, there's a couple of trends that I'm simply not willing to endure much longer, plus I have seen it destroy two other religious websites for much the same reason.

One is those who just simply are so very hostile and/or so nit-picky that it seems RF has become a "battlefield", and I'm sure this is keeping some people from posting here. Yes, we all "lose it" at times, including yours truly, and I've had to issue a fair number of apologies over the years myself.

Second problem is religious bigotry, and even though I'm not tied to any religion, the number of anti-Catholic threads here is very disturbing to me. It's one thing to disagree with Catholic concepts, but it's another when I see constant bashing of the entire church that goes on and on and...

These two problems dismay me to the point whereas tomorrow I'll be looking for a different religious website. Seriously, I don't want to leave here because there are some people that I deeply admire and I enjoy their posts, but it seems that the number of them is getting fewer and fewer versus those with axes to grind while using a pit-bull approach.

I'm just one person here, and I know I'm expendable, but I really hope that some people here decide to "cool it" and not be so aggressive. I don't want to leave, but I'm not going to stay if I feel as uncomfortable as I do now.

shalom

I can see why you leavin. I feel people are showing their real colors here they wouldnt otherwise in person. On here we can take a break and choose our words. Offline conversations dont have as many breaks unless you are wiseman stopping to think of replies in silence ane mindfulness before responding.

If you come back pick the forms you want to hang our in like DIRs, save them in your favorite forums, and bookmark that page so you go straight there. I do that and I post when I want to learn something. I dont create threads often anymore.

Also, I dont kike ignoring but when one person says "dont talk to me anymore" all of the sudden, you wonder why people are actually here. That and I found peace of mind with most people on ignore. Gives me less reason to post.

Anyway, Im sure you miss my long posts. Sometimes we talk a lot with nothing to say.

Plus youre the only one I know here that has positive Catholic views without being Catholic! Needle in a hay stack. Wish you the best.

 

[oldbadger]

@metis , If you leave you can't have fun like insulting @Revoltingest .... I've never reported anybody for insulting me either, so 'go for it'!

I left RF for a year for various reasons, but after spending that year lurking around other relgion-type forums and being shocked by how horrible they were, I came back because RF is actuially one of the most moderate and well moderated forums that I know...... even with the heated debates that can occur.

Go on........ send revolting a nasty post...... it's fun!

 

[Olinda]

As much as I've enjoyed being here at RF, there's a couple of trends that I'm simply not willing to endure much longer, plus I have seen it destroy two other religious websites for much the same reason.

One is those who just simply are so very hostile and/or so nit-picky that it seems RF has become a "battlefield", and I'm sure this is keeping some people from posting here. Yes, we all "lose it" at times, including yours truly, and I've had to issue a fair number of apologies over the years myself.

Second problem is religious bigotry, and even though I'm not tied to any religion, the number of anti-Catholic threads here is very disturbing to me. It's one thing to disagree with Catholic concepts, but it's another when I see constant bashing of the entire church that goes on and on and...

These two problems dismay me to the point whereas tomorrow I'll be looking for a different religious website. Seriously, I don't want to leave here because there are some people that I deeply admire and I enjoy their posts, but it seems that the number of them is getting fewer and fewer versus those with axes to grind while using a pit-bull approach.

I'm just one person here, and I know I'm expendable, but I really hope that some people here decide to "cool it" and not be so aggressive. I don't want to leave, but I'm not going to stay if I feel as uncomfortable as I do now.

shalom

Metis, I hope against hope that you stay. You are one of two posters that have shown me how to ask without being 'nit-picky'
Thanks!

 

[Laika]

As much as I've enjoyed being here at RF, there's a couple of trends that I'm simply not willing to endure much longer, plus I have seen it destroy two other religious websites for much the same reason.

One is those who just simply are so very hostile and/or so nit-picky that it seems RF has become a "battlefield", and I'm sure this is keeping some people from posting here. Yes, we all "lose it" at times, including yours truly, and I've had to issue a fair number of apologies over the years myself.

Second problem is religious bigotry, and even though I'm not tied to any religion, the number of anti-Catholic threads here is very disturbing to me. It's one thing to disagree with Catholic concepts, but it's another when I see constant bashing of the entire church that goes on and on and...

These two problems dismay me to the point whereas tomorrow I'll be looking for a different religious website. Seriously, I don't want to leave here because there are some people that I deeply admire and I enjoy their posts, but it seems that the number of them is getting fewer and fewer versus those with axes to grind while using a pit-bull approach.

I'm just one person here, and I know I'm expendable, but I really hope that some people here decide to "cool it" and not be so aggressive. I don't want to leave, but I'm not going to stay if I feel as uncomfortable as I do now.

shalom

You're about to get a wave of people saying "Don't go" so I won't join in as I know it can make you feel guilty. Its up to you and do what you think is right for you.

I've tried to leave RF twice (the last time I managed three months I think) and its mainly because of the sense you are engaged in a "war of attrition" rather than a discussion and you can't get anywhere. Its the same people saying the same thing and not changing their minds in any noticeable way and its very discouraging compared to what we hope for. It also means you don't learn as much as you'd want and can really hold you back from personal/spiritual growth if you let it suck you in. I currently have 29 people on my ignore list and its mainly because of one-line responses which are either abusive or a waste of time. If you think its specific people who are causing you problems, put them on ignore. It does improve the experience at bit and if it makes life easier there is no shame in doing it. The grinding sense of "here we go again" is a problem and despite my best efforts, I don't really know how to deal with it even if I have become slighter better at it. The Mods have to take a "hands off" approach to deal with the sheer diversity of opinions and number of conflicts- both personal and ideological- that come up. The forum wouldn't function otherwise because the mods would be policing every dispute and upsetting people by doing so. I understand it, but it does put the burden on posters themselves to find a way to deal with disputes and that isn't always easy. If you think the problem is something that mods should be able to do something about, give Site Feedback a go. Its a long shot, but sometimes simply talking about it can help.

I'm currently using Reddit and Christian Forums, as it could mean I can debate subjects that will get buried on RF. Its not the same subjects basically so I get some variety. Personally, I'd say don't force yourself to make a decision now. A rule of thumb is that the people who announce they are going to leave care too much about the forum to actually pull it off. Look for alternatives and try them out and give yourself time to think it through and adjust. Its not your fault you feel this way but maybe if you give yourself permission to look around, you may still find that RF is better than most out there. (I could name a few forums that are significantly worse but I'd be breaking the rules by doing so. )

 

[Revoltingest]

@metis , If you leave you can't have fun like insulting @Revoltingest .... I've never reported anybody for insulting me either, so 'go for it'!

I left RF for a year for various reasons, but after spending that year lurking around other relgion-type forums and being shocked by how horrible they were, I came back because RF is actuially one of the most moderate and well moderated forums that I know...... even with the heated debates that can occur.

Go on........ send revolting a nasty post...... it's fun!

Sigh....I'm on his <ignore> list.
I think my posting this video was the last straw....

 

[savagewind]

Sigh....I'm on his <ignore> list.
I think my posting this video was the last straw....

Are you kidding me? I mean, us? LOL

 

[savagewind]

I think it might be fun to know how many people have each poster on ignore, but it is a secret. We will never know, though we can guess who. You know, people who hate short sharp posts must have me on their ignore list. I care only a little, tiny, itty bitty bit though. It has not ruined any day yet.

 

[Tmac]

As much as I've enjoyed being here at RF, there's a couple of trends that I'm simply not willing to endure much longer, plus I have seen it destroy two other religious websites for much the same reason.

One is those who just simply are so very hostile and/or so nit-picky that it seems RF has become a "battlefield", and I'm sure this is keeping some people from posting here. Yes, we all "lose it" at times, including yours truly, and I've had to issue a fair number of apologies over the years myself.

Second problem is religious bigotry, and even though I'm not tied to any religion, the number of anti-Catholic threads here is very disturbing to me. It's one thing to disagree with Catholic concepts, but it's another when I see constant bashing of the entire church that goes on and on and...

These two problems dismay me to the point whereas tomorrow I'll be looking for a different religious website. Seriously, I don't want to leave here because there are some people that I deeply admire and I enjoy their posts, but it seems that the number of them is getting fewer and fewer versus those with axes to grind while using a pit-bull approach.

I'm just one person here, and I know I'm expendable, but I really hope that some people here decide to "cool it" and not be so aggressive. I don't want to leave, but I'm not going to stay if I feel as uncomfortable as I do now.

shalom

Yes, that does seem to be the method most employed when faced with an internal problem, if you don't change I'll leave, what is relevant by you're post is that other share your sentiments, why isn't the thought, lets figure out how to effectively deal with this problem evoked? If you ever thought it was your forum how is it that you can just give it up because there are some loud neighbors? This is the world we live in, you know.

 

[BSM1]

1) Typical old person. You didn't read the contract. As your unofficial rabbi it is my responsibility - no, make that my sacred duty - to tell you we're as much stuck with you as you are with us.
2) You can't leave me here by myself. I'll be Costello without Abbott, Jerry without Dean, Hardy without Laurel, Fred without Ginger, Roy without Dale,
Bugs without Elmer..... Need I continue?

PB without the J...

Stick around, M, it builds character. Even I would miss you.

 

[oldbadger]

Sigh....I'm on his <ignore> list.
I think my posting this video was the last straw....

Me................
............and my big fat mouth.

 

[Quintessence]

@metis - if you're noticing an uptick in these problems, please help us out by communicating this to the staff team as well. We can be slow at handling things sometimes (volunteer team after all), but it's people like you we really want to keep around. If that means cleaning up some trash we haven't gotten around to yet, we might be able to make that happen.

 

[Revoltingest]

@metis - if you're noticing an uptick in these problems, please help us out by communicating this to the staff team as well. We can be slow at handling things sometimes (volunteer team after all), but it's people like you we really want to keep around. If that means cleaning up some trash we haven't gotten around to yet, we might be able to make that happen.

One thing I notice is that what really changes is our noticing things.

It reminds me of...
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly
stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was
astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."--Mark Twain

 

[PureX]

As much as I've enjoyed being here at RF, there's a couple of trends that I'm simply not willing to endure much longer, plus I have seen it destroy two other religious websites for much the same reason.

One is those who just simply are so very hostile and/or so nit-picky that it seems RF has become a "battlefield", and I'm sure this is keeping some people from posting here. Yes, we all "lose it" at times, including yours truly, and I've had to issue a fair number of apologies over the years myself.

Second problem is religious bigotry, and even though I'm not tied to any religion, the number of anti-Catholic threads here is very disturbing to me. It's one thing to disagree with Catholic concepts, but it's another when I see constant bashing of the entire church that goes on and on and...

These two problems dismay me to the point whereas tomorrow I'll be looking for a different religious website. Seriously, I don't want to leave here because there are some people that I deeply admire and I enjoy their posts, but it seems that the number of them is getting fewer and fewer versus those with axes to grind while using a pit-bull approach.

I'm just one person here, and I know I'm expendable, but I really hope that some people here decide to "cool it" and not be so aggressive. I don't want to leave, but I'm not going to stay if I feel as uncomfortable as I do now.

shalom

Good luck. I think you're going to have a hard time finding a more amiable site in this regard. It seems many modern American Christian zealots see Catholicism as one of their main "big evil" rallying demons. (I think it's just because the Catholics are the 'big dogs' on the religious block.) Hating and blaming the Catholics is how they hold themselves together and puff themselves up with false righteousness. Well, hating them and hating liberals, democrats, foreigners, unmarried women, atheists, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, animists, spiritualists, and pretty much anyone else not in complete agreement with themselves. And for some reason, these folks, though relatively few in number, make a LOT OF NOISE on the internet.

 

[Jainarayan]

Quintessence beat me to it... We don't see every post. Any or all posts anyone has a problem with should be reported. We'll get to them to review them.

(volunteer team after all)

Not to mention that we're literally scattered in every time zone, hemisphere and continent (except Antarctica, of course), and are not always online at the same time.

 

[Quintessence]

One thing I notice is that what really changes is our noticing things.

There's certainly that, too. In recent months, I've felt some disdain myself at the amount of negativity circulating about regarding religion. For better or worse, that's sort of par for the course. Best thing to do if I want to turn that habit around is make more of the types of threads I usually do - which are about sharing diversity of religious experiences instead of bashing them.