I got this one from a comic strip:\
"Waiter, what's that fly doing in my soup?"
"Looks like the backstroke."
"Waiter, what's that fly doing in my soup?"
"Looks like the backstroke."
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Corny Jokes Thread
- Thread starter xkatz
- Start date
A blonde calls her boyfriend and tells him: "I have a new jigsaw puzzle that is supposed to be a picture of a tiger when it is finished but I can't figure it out". The boyfriend comes over looks at the box and looks at the pieces and sighs, kisses her "first, this will never look like a tiger, and second would you please help me put the frosted flakes back in the box?"
(I apologize to all blondes).
(I apologize to all blondes).
Rainbow Mage
Lib Democrat/Agnostic/Epicurean-ish/Buddhist-ish
There was a blond driving down the highway, and she passed this field. Out in the middle of the field was another blond trying to row a boat through the field with a paddle. The blond parked her car, got out and yelled: "You know what? It's blonds like you that give us blonds a bad name! And if I could swim, I'd come out their and kick your as*!"
Engyo
Prince of Dorkness!
And the other one said, "If I could swim, I'd swim to shore and kick YOUR ***!
GabrielWithoutWings
Well-Known Member
Two birds are standing on a perch. One looks at the other and says, "Hey. Do you smell fish?"
GabrielWithoutWings
Well-Known Member
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
Fsh.
Maths geeks will get this one:
Me and e^x were going to a party with all the other functions and e^x says "I'm worried I won't fit in" so I tell him "relax I'll integrate you and it will be fine" e^x replies "That won't make any difference!"
Another one:
A neutron walks into a bar orders a drink and asks the bar tender how much, the bar tender replies "For you no charge"
Me and e^x were going to a party with all the other functions and e^x says "I'm worried I won't fit in" so I tell him "relax I'll integrate you and it will be fine" e^x replies "That won't make any difference!"
Another one:
A neutron walks into a bar orders a drink and asks the bar tender how much, the bar tender replies "For you no charge"
dust1n
Zindīq
FluentYank3825
Ironic Idealist
Why do Christians always turn down jobs at ice cream parlors?
Because they don't like working on Sundaes.
Because they don't like working on Sundaes.
xkatz
Well-Known Member
FluentYank3825
Ironic Idealist
I heard once that some cannibals got a taste of religion after they trapped and ate some cannibals.
Last edited:
A blond spied another blond on the other side of a river.
She called out, "How do I get to the other side?".
The other blond yelled back, "You're already on the other side!".
She called out, "How do I get to the other side?".
The other blond yelled back, "You're already on the other side!".
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
Humpty-Dumpty was pushed!
FluentYank3825
Ironic Idealist
Whoops. Substitute the second "cannibals" for the word "missionaries".
On christmas day three men died and were at the gates of heaven and a saint said that because it is christmas that if they could show him something tht has to do with christmas that he would let them in.
The first man reaches into his pocket and pulls out keys and says, "these are jingle like bells!"
So the saint lets him in
The second man finds on him a small flashlight and says, "Christmas Lights!"
The saint, too, lets him in.
The third man is still searching and pull out of his pocket some panties and says, "These are Carols"
HAHAHAHAHA
The first man reaches into his pocket and pulls out keys and says, "these are jingle like bells!"
So the saint lets him in
The second man finds on him a small flashlight and says, "Christmas Lights!"
The saint, too, lets him in.
The third man is still searching and pull out of his pocket some panties and says, "These are Carols"
HAHAHAHAHA
A blond met a cute guy in a bar. It turns out that the man just got out of prison.
She asked what he did. He said he murdered his wife & cut her up in little pieces.
"Oh, wonderful! So you're single!", she exclaimed.
She asked what he did. He said he murdered his wife & cut her up in little pieces.
"Oh, wonderful! So you're single!", she exclaimed.
FluentYank3825
Ironic Idealist
What do you call a device that a priest uses to fling incense sticks far distances to alert his friends?
A long-range censer!
A long-range censer!