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Dating ,romance and sexism and men journal

Riders

Well-Known Member
I'm having pain tonight a bad backach I ran out of cbd just got to order more.i Knotts in my back.
Sometimes I like to watch documentaries about celebrity I love seeing stuff on celebrity's I think I'm gonna watch Coal Minors Daughter. No
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
I lost down to 272 I finally was able to weigh today. I am not sure what I was before But I am sure it has gone down some so I am, good with it.
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
Well I have been thinking about changing My religion to a brand of the Christian church in part ever since I moved out here to my apartment that my sister got me.

It's all Christian churches out here except for one Muslim group. There are liberal Christian churches though. But the Catholics seem to be pretty accepting of other religions and other churches.
I have heard once or twice when I visited the Catholic Church a priest say that most people will go to a good place or maybe a good form of purgatory When they die. I found them to be pretty accepting however there is a conservative part of their church.

Well as I understand it some are very liberal some are very conservative. I have recently talked to somebody at the Catholic Church and asked if they could call me back Everyone says Catholic priest would come out to see me but I don't think so I think they just told me that they would call me up and see if they could answer some of my questions.


Personally I don't need a priest come out here and see me. But I haven't gotten a call back yet from the woman who was supposed to call me. So I might call her back and ask some
questions.

However there is a Lutheran church out here that's pretty liberal I visited them about 12 years ago they seem to be pretty nice. And some of their services is close to Catholicism Also the Anglicans Are also.

There is also the Orthodox Church so we shall see.

I stayed on my food plan yesterday but got off of it last night.
I have whole wheat Ritz crackers with chicken salad I will have to measure it just eat a small amount and count my calories.

I also have an already cooked prepared roast beef by armor I've got two packages of 'em they are yummy. I have to divide it up and count my calories so in a small amount. I also have Cheerios with the yellow sweetener they're pretty good.

cheerios has been a mainstay for breakfast for a lot of Americans. But again I have to measure my milk out one cup and measure the cereal out 1 cup I have a measuring cup.

I've got some unsweet applesauce I need to get back to eating fruits and vegetables.
 
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Riders

Well-Known Member
It had gotten to wear the standards of food in restaurants is crap. I ordered 40 dollars worth of food which tasted like crap, and I threw all of it away. what a wasted, I am, disgusted.
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
Well, here I am lonely again.56 never been married no children. I am walking around somewhat easier, but I will have to walk a lot more before I can get out of the house to go to church. But I am looking forward to some socializing, which I have not done in a while.
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
Hi journal. I ate way too much today and yesterday the last couple of days. I'm gonna try to get back on my big plan today and this weekend. If I can do that and stay on it all week next week. Then I could wait myself but right now I can't wait myself because I know i've gained white.

I'm kind wait and I don't wanna see what it is. But if I can keep walking well. I know i'm gonna be out of this house soon.

I just have an infection of my throat nears. And I gotta get some antibiotics. That's it. Then if I do that I could start feeling better.

But anyways I figured i'd start feeling better over the next couple of nights. Anyways i've got some good meditation routines.
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
I have a secret place I can go to when my mind gets wrapped up in darkness and I feel afraid. I like reading about and watching stuff about Helen Keller. She called her mental state she was in before she met her teacher her state of darkness and her teachers' teachings were the light of God. It makes sense to me.
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
Well I told my sister that I appreciated the way Helen Keller talked about God and her special way. She almost started an argument with me and so I thought there's got to be something I don't know here.

I looked up Helen Keller's life and found out that she belongs to the Swedenborg Religion or did before she died. they are kind of a new Age sect or were. I'm not sure there's any even left in any United States.

I'm not interested in their religion I just think it's interesting. I guess there's a tad bit of universalism left in my blood after all. Different churches and religions fascinate me. I'm still interested in the Catholic Church and plan on visiting one of the mass services this year.

I've just had a lot of problems with my weight my mobility I wasn't expecting but I'm going to have to start working on it better.
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
This is a guy who put a video criticizing the new Priscilla movie. He said it was suppose to be about Elvis and the way he controlled her. He did feed her strong drugs and told her how to dress. He did control her; this guy says the movie was boring and should have been a lot more exciting sense they were going to show Elvises controllung side.

I'll put it up and respond.https://youtu.be/DBWk6BohVXk

Look the thing with Priscilla Presley, ok was that he was a sex addict and drug addict. He fed her drugs so she may or may have been an addict. She was codependent on him. But with all those sexual and drug issues addiction he had, they're had be a lot of secrets between them and knows maybe Elvis was traumatized at some point.

She may have been too. She left home at the age of 15 Is that right 15. There is a lot going with that so we will never know, but if this movie gives encouragement and and light to Alanons out here dealing with the same issues, it's worth watching.
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
So I quit the psychiatric group I was in about two months ago. I made friends with this guy who was only 42 years old and I really enjoyed his friendship but my sisters were worried about me spending too much time with the younger man. I guess I can see her point. I also get paranoid about seeing men through the Internet.

There are so many scam artists out there. But I think he was OK but I'm gonna try not to make too many friends with men or especially younger men.

I did find the new group though which is for people with psychiatric problems i'm supposed to visit it tomorrow. They meet on zoom I just hope to make some new friendships. I think it's Wise to not get too involved with the opposite sex In these groups. It's easy to scam people. But it does help with my loneliness.
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
So both my computers broke down so now all I Hage is my cell phone


. I'll have t ok put it in my gratitude list. So I discovered Recovery international.They have 4 step plan for any kind p
Of a DC diction and the mentally ill. It looks real interesting but I'm not sure I agree with them So I'll stick with oa.ill stick to oa
But if your atheist or agnostic and have an addiction they are a secular group I and spirituality is not required.

For those
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
Well i am writing you because my other computers broke down now I'm having to put everything on my cell phone.So I will be bu th ING a cheap computer from season next month until then I'll be writing as much as I can.i was sick this week I think I lost some weight.i will be keeping up with the elections.
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
22nd
People in my saa meeting say we're just at the tip of the iceberg with people coming out of the woodwork with sex addiction.
It seems like to me that there are alot more male se. Addicts then women I don't care what you say about men and women being the same were not. Sex addicts are mostly men.

I've had sex with 2 Muslim men and. Several conservative Christian men. Personally I think there's alot of Christian Muslim and Jewish men who are turning to sex addiction and still society and the church turns their ignorant heads to ignore it.

What has gotten into our men that they just seem to lose control over them selves in sexuality the past decade or 2.

Good luck. Be safe. Stay strong.
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
I watched the movie Elvis and Priscilla Conditional Love . It was told by a body guard who worked for Elvisand was 63 at the time they g immediately him.

He told how sick and twisted Elvises relationship with Priscilla truly was. SHE was 14 he scheduled and managed every bit of her life including every inch of her makeup hair and outfits everyday. He had her on the same d d ugs as he did and expected her to be perfect and without sec with him because of her age.
He was a sick drug addiction let's face bit.
However I can not point the finger at him when I am addicted to food and men.

Also before you judge him you need to realize that was the 1950s and 60s There really was no NA meeting hs back then no treatment center . This was before family counseling came along in the 70s and before there was treatment of sex addiction and he would qualify for that.
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
Sorry about the mis spelled words and that.I had to recharge my phone.
AMyhow I'm not sure I recommend this movie to his fans. The body guard guy was not the only inner circle guy who talked. He had a twisted perverted relationship with Priscilla where he controlled everything she did .

Plus it was almost painful to hear how his drug addiction spiral out of control.

But I'm ok with and being a fan because I was raised up in AA. You can't imagine how many tired my mom told me to stay from some older man he was having sex with younger women though he was married.

They were some prettty twisted men.There are a few recovering alholic men who will get v outselling and straighten up well.Some join faith led groups too and stop that behavior too.

SO I can separate the entertainer from personal n life when I watch
.
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
Ok so my legs are hurting tiny bit less from walking. Over the last couple of weeks I had bad leg pain keeping me up at night. I'd stay up too exhausted to eat

So I think I've lost some weight I'm gonna try to be on my foodplan tomorrow and start walking more
.and working my oa program.i am almost fi inished with my b
Needlepoint.. I had less mistakes on this one.
 

Riders

Well-Known Member
I had healthy men who were interested in dominaring me but one guy who was big got on there.

He said sometimes as a big man he has a hard time finding submissive women.

He said he knew it was way harder for big women and thought I was lonely. He said he was willing to be a friend but nothing else.

He would only accept a thin lady to date and dom.

He just knew I was all alone right dude.its like I wasn't ever lonely at Fetlife lmao he was.
70s
 
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