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Dealing with diversity of belief inside one's family

Nyingjé Tso

Nyingjé Tso

Dharma not drama
Vanakkam,

Never been pushed by mother/father toward a specific religion... Well, they did try to make me go to catechism... Once. Got kicked out after the first day and they never tried to force me to come back.

Whole family is non practicing catholics (except for two aunts, who are way too much into it) and my parents always said "read all the books you want and figure your path yourself, not our job to drag you into whatever".
Result is, my brother is an atheist and am the only Hindu in the family.

Oddly this kind of open mindness is not found in the bigger family... My parents are ok to talk about religion and diversity of belief, but this kind of conversation is a total no-no when we have, for exemple, a family reunion where there are grandmother, aunts, etc...
Especially those two aunts in the family... They are extreme catholics and one even force her childs to go to catechism and all those even if they openly say that they don't like it and would prefer playing with their friends, aunt is obsessed into making them "good people" (because to her, only catholics are good people) so that their appear as a good family to the village and save her children's souls. Now, nobody say anything to her because that's her life and nobody care about it, she's an adult and do what she wants... Problem is when we talk about other religions, and she starts a fight every. single. Time.
She doesn't back up expression her utter hate about Islam (even tho she don't know anything about it. At all) and belittle every belief that is different than hers (including Atheism) and act like she hold the one and only truth.
One family christmas basically ended up with verbal fighting and people leaving because someone started talking about religion and she couldn't stop spouting hate.... Yay.

.... And that's why we absolutely avoid talking about religion or non-religion in the family AT ALL °^°
 
Katzpur

Katzpur

Not your average Mormon
A Greased Scotsman said:
I have a Mormon mother & father, a Presbyterian grandmother and an aunt, uncle & cousin who are also Mormons. We get along fine. But only because the aunt, uncle & cousin live in Canada! :p
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Darn, I wished I'd been able to meet you when I was in Scotland a year ago. I bet we'd have hit it off.
 
Muffled

Muffled

Jesus in me
Monk Of Reason said:
Its not a matter of forgiveness. I've learned something new about her and it was a lesson well learned. Its not a matter of having forgiveness or not forgiveness. I objectively know I cannot have those kinds of discussions anymore with her.

Many people cling blindly to ideologies of any type when they get low. The broken post WWI Germany gave rise to the nationalistic NAZI party for example. It does not give the ideology merit.
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I would be interested to hear why you would consider God without merit.
 
Muffled

Muffled

Jesus in me
Aupmanyav said:
I have problems. I am an atheist and absolutely not superstitious. My family is theist and superstitious. How do I deal with it? When chance permits, I make my views known, and tell them that superstitions (astrology) are unscientific. And then let it go. They will understand in their own time. Or probably not. I do not let that interfere with the family life. There are political differences also, but they are not that problematic. Of course, my vote and my daughter-in-law's vote will always be on opposite sides. At least I balance it on the other side. Of course, nobody lights my fuse, I do not light other peoples' fuse.
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As a former astrologer I can vouch that it isn't scientific. I believe It can be quite amazingly accurate. Things are not automatically superstitious just because they aren't scientific.
 
Aupmanyav

Aupmanyav

Be your own guru
Muffled said:
As a former astrologer I can vouch that it isn't scientific. I believe It can be quite amazingly accurate. Things are not automatically superstitious just because they aren't scientific.
Click to expand...
Well, views. Even my family thinks so.
 
Satyamavejayanti

Satyamavejayanti

Well-Known Member
"LuisDantas"

Namaste,

Being in a Hindu family, having differences regarding "religions/religious", beliefs is natural. We don't have discussions about what Krishna/Ram did at the dinner table, we don't go to the same temples nor do we have a specific time we all pray, we don't read any texts at all (I do most of the reading) and nor does anyone advise others to read or follow a specific path, we don't follow our fathers/mothers belief systems, we don't teach children about Avatars/Deva/Devi or any texts, we don't discuss if homosexuality is sin or not, we don't consider non Hindus Hethens/Kafirs, do don't judge a political candidate by their religious/non-religious preference ect.

Being Indian Hindu, I think culturally it is acceptable to have differences and diversity within the "Family" regarding religion and religious beliefs especially in the extended family. I have Mormon cousins, Catholic Aunts, Atheist uncles, non-religious brother, devout Hindu Mother and Father, Arya Samaj sister in Law, Atheist Father in Law, sexy wife, what more can one want.

Religion play a vary small role in our everyday life, it is almost irrelevant what one believes about Gods or No Gods, we all know that the principal of doing good Karma overrides all beliefs (This is one thing my close Family all agree on), to us the relationships matter not beliefs.

Yet, we celebrate Dipawali, We go to temples, We put up Christmas trees, enjoy Easter eggs, wish our Muslim friends Happy Ramadan, take our children to temples and Puja's, and enjoy a drink and political discussions with my out and out Atheist uncles.

We are a Family (extended/in laws included) of almost 150 + peoples and growing, and no one has ever asked about what i believe or what my religious preference is...well..except for my Mormon cousins, they sometimes what to "bring me to the Good side".

Dhanyavad
 
SomeRandom

SomeRandom

Still learning to be wise
Staff member
Premium Member
I'm from a mostly Hindu family. We consider it weird not to have diversity of beliefs. Religion isn't really talked about because it's not particularly important. Even our Christian friends would much rather laugh over a beer than discuss politics or religion.
Arguing over scripture, over belief, over God ehhh. I'd much rather argue over who was the most crass out of the snooty literary elite or discuss which game was the most awesome with my cousins. Religion is just that, religion. We don't particularly care if a cousin decides to be an atheist or if an Aunty converts to Judaism. As long as they eat and drink and bring food, then it's all good.
But the Dharmics seem to regard religion as especially personal, to the point where it's considered frightfully rude (at best) to even try to persuade another person about anything to do with their beliefs.
 
Muffled

Muffled

Jesus in me
I will be attending my granddaughter's wedding this month. The groom's family is religious and from my understanding Protestant. However my granddaughter as an agnostic doesn't like me talking about religion. It might be the one thing I have in common with the groom's family so I imagine we will talk about it anyway.
 
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