Do atheists put flowers on graves?

[`mud]

I don't have any magazines.....but.....

 

[blü 2]

Experiencing grief is one thing.

Honoring the dead, paying respects, buying an expensive tombstone, visiting graves, leaving flowers, burning candles and incense, holding vigils, are practices i find very meaningful and rewarding to engage in...many do.

It's very deep in human nature. Armies repatriate their dead when they can, families fly the bodies of loved ones home. Elephants and chimps grieve for their alphas, and some birds and some lizards grieve for their mates.

Bonding is biochemical, developed particularly for parenting and for tribal / group solidarity, so that biochemically death is not the end of the sense of relationship; only time and more biochemical adjustment do that.

Were i an atheist, I'd see it as a waste of time and money, and not engage in such traditions.

You allow that non-believers grieve, so surely you understand that non-believers need to express their grief, to act it out with symbols of the dead, to work through it by doing as well as feeling?

 

[Spiderman]

It's very deep in human nature. Armies repatriate their dead when they can, families fly the bodies of loved ones home. Elephants and chimps grieve for their alphas, and some birds and some lizards grieve for their mates.

Bonding is biochemical, developed particularly for parenting and for tribal / group solidarity, so that biochemically death is not the end of the sense of relationship; only time and more biochemical adjustment do that.
You allow that non-believers grieve, so surely you understand that non-believers need to express their grief, to act it out with symbols of the dead, to work through it by doing as well as feeling?

Yes

 

[Jumi]

Never left any dead or dying flowers anywhere either as theist or atheist.

 

[Father Heathen]

Ever seen forest Gump? He talks to Jenny at her grave while shedding tears?

That is a fairly common practice to take place some time in a person's life...it is a practice that obviously indicates the person engaging in it has some degree of faith that the dead live on in some way or form, and can be contacted.

Otherwise, quite a pointless tradition.

...and your point is...?

 

[Spiderman]

...and your point is...?

Just saying... I would not do anything like that, were I still an atheist... and did nothing of the sort when i was an atheist...hence, the reason for the question and thread.

 

[Father Heathen]

Ghosts isn't usually what people who venerate the dead think of heavenly beings.

Shinto shrines enshrine and house "Divinities" (Kami), and people that have had Marian apparitions or messages from Saints, don't think of it as seeing "ghosts", though I don't mind thinking of them as such...most visionairies and seers don't see it that way.

Again, different religions/cultures have different beliefs and practices in regards to how they honor the dead. Therefore?

 

[Altfish]

That's great to know!

It's just, a lot of atheists don't seem to believe the soul of the deceased goes on living after death, so I don't always see the reason behind such a tradition, if a person doesn't believe the soul of the deceased appreciates or benefits from such honors or traditions, or hears them...

We don't believe in a soul. But every Xmas we go to the crematorium, leave flowers where my mother and father in law are remembered (in a wall casket); then a wreath where my granddad's ashes were spread.
I don't talk to them but with my wife we reminisce and wonder what they'd be thinking if they were still around.

 

[jonathan180iq]

Were i an atheist, I'd see it as a waste of time and money, and not engage in such traditions. Hence, the reason for the question.

Death is a difficult thing to deal with, to understand, and to embrace. But when you've had a personal relationship with someone who has died, honoring that memory, in any way that seems necessary, is a totally normal part of the grieving and acceptance process. It's also not something that's limited to humans. Many different species of mammal have death "rituals" associated with the loss of a relative or close group member.

 

[Altfish]

Just saying... I would not do anything like that, were I still an atheist... and did nothing of the sort when i was an atheist...hence, the reason for the question and thread.

I find that strange, most of my friends are atheists or lapsed theists, they without fail go to their parents, family, friends graves at least once a year.

 

[Spiderman]

Don't think I once visited a cemetery as an atheist, nor buy flowers for the dead...now, ive pulled an all-nighter at a cemetery, buy flowers and other gifts for the dead, pray to them, honor them, enshrine them, burn candles and incense for them.

If there were a cemetery within 30 minutes, I'd be walking and biking there almost daily.

Never did that as an atheist. Now, it has become my rule of life in many ways...

Though im going through a challenge of spiritual aridity, doubt, and darkness...this too shall pass...faith, grace, spiritual consolation, and religious extacy shall return.

Tests of faith and trials can be expected...but it still sucks!

Makes one stronger though.

 

[Spiderman]

I find that strange, most of my friends are atheists or lapsed theists, they without fail go to their parents, family, friends graves at least once a year.

That does mildly surprise me.

 

[columbus]

I've spent all-nighters at cemeteries.

I really like cemeteries. At least, really old ones. To me, they're peaceful sculpture gardens with meaning. I sometimes pick up trash, but not often. Because the ones I like are way out in the woods, where hardly anyone else goes.
Here in rural Indiana, there's lots of those.


I am from one of those big USA families that are scattered around the country. There's only one grave within 200 miles that matters to me personally. That's my Dad's, and it's about 60 miles from here. I never go there. My Dad is not the pile of bones in the dirt. He is not there.

When he died, it took Mom awhile to get her stuff together and order him a big fancy tombstone. For a few months, there was only a simple marble slab with his name and dates on it. I took that and built it into my back patio. I see it all the time. I love that this reminder of him is close by. But he doesn't need flowers. I think of him every day.

On the other hand, my partner's daughter died tragically. It's hard for him to go to the gravesite, he cries a lot. But he wants to bring flowers, so we do. It's about him, not her. It makes him feel better, not her.

Tom

 

[LuisDantas]

That's great to know!

It's just, a lot of atheists don't seem to believe the soul of the deceased goes on living after death, so I don't always see the reason behind such a tradition, if a person doesn't believe the soul of the deceased appreciates or benefits from such honors or traditions, or hears them...

Many people think of those services as suited to the living as opposed to the deceased.

The ritual is (at least in part) meant to express the sense of loss and search for resolution.

Believe in souls or afterlives is of course often present, but it is hardly necessary.

Also, keep in mind that to a very large extent those services are displays of mutual support and sharing of a sense of loss.

 

[Father Heathen]

That does mildly surprise me.

What surprises me is how you're either unable or unwilling to wrap your mind around the fact that people can still love and respect departed friends and family and desire to honor their memory without cloud daddy being a part of the mix.

 

[ChristineM]

For mother's day this year my siblings and I took my mom over to the cemetery where her parents and grand parents are buried and we cleaned the areas around the headstones, reset one that had fallen over, cleaned the faces of the stones themselves, and left a few decorative items. We shared stories about the people buried there, talked about how we wanted to be disposed of after our deaths, and overall had a great time. It was a familial afternoon where we shared an experience together and helped to prolong the memory of those that came before us... There was no woo involved in doing any of those things. It was just a family gathering.

In france where i live and much of europe there is held a 'day of the dead' where people do as you did, tidy up graves, place flowers*, remember loved ones, have a picnic and talk about death.

* the chrysanthemum is the traditional french flower for the dead. Never give chrysanthemum’s for any other occasion.

 

[Underhill]

I've spent a fair amount of time at funerals, hopefully more than most people my age (44). It's my experience that these things are not for the dead, but for the living. It's about closure and dealing with our losses. Sure, some religious types put stock in praying for the dead, but even they often treat it primarily as a chance to morn, council others and proselytize. Flowers are about memory and showing respect, not for the dead to witness, but for others to witness who may visit the cemetery. Nothing upsets a vet more than to visit a buddies grave on Memorial day and not see at least a flag and hopefully flowers decorating the stone.

 

[paarsurrey]

Do atheists put flowers on graves?

Is it essential to put flowers on the graves whether one belongs to Atheism or is a believer, please?
What benefit does accrue to the one who has died by putting flowers on the grave?

Regards

 

[Spiderman]

What surprises me is how you're either unable or unwilling to wrap your mind around the fact that people can still love and respect departed friends and family and desire to honor their memory without cloud daddy being a part of the mix.

I never said cloud Daddy is part of the mix...but I do think there are people out there who have no real belief in "Cloud Daddy" or Yahweh, yet they believe the deceased go on living and can be contacted...well, I know this to be true!

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Obviously, some atheists do...but I don't exactly understand their reasoning behind it.

Putting flowers on, or decorating a grave, honoring the dead, paying respects to them, or even buying a nice costly tombstone for a deceased loved one, sounds more like something a person does who believes the soul of the deceased recipient of such honors or offerings, still lives on in some way or form, or benefits in some way from it...

If you are an atheist, have you ever put flowers on someone's grave, honored or paid respects to the dead, help purchase them a costly tombstone, or talked to them after their death? Were you an atheist at the time of this practice/tradition?

If you are a theist, do you ever decorate graves, leave flowers, honor, pay respects to, talk to the dead etc.?

I've spent all-nighters at cemeteries. They are one of my favorite places to visit! But in my atheist moments, didn't find any reason to do so...
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Yes. There is no fixed relationship between belief in deities and flowers on graves and talking to souls of loved ones. Today, I bought my aunt who passed this february 2018, some beer. I have her urn on my table and necklace urn I wear as well.

Here is some info on flowers on graves

I put flowers on grave for cultural reasons. I dont outside of funerals. I do believe in souls and spirits (not deities and gods) because I know their personality/nature/soul and energy/spirit are in and with me.

Deities and gods are also or are external. Spirits and our souls are not. Im a polytheist in that sense but not Pagan.