Do People Get Personally Insulted By Vegetarianism?

[Guitar's Cry]

My wife (Gentoo, for those who don't know us) and I have been experimenting with vegetarianism. This is an ethical choice based on the environmental hazards and cruelty of industrial animal farming. Gentoo is entirely vegetarian (not vegan), and I will eat meat that has either been ethically raised or harvested (including hunted) or in danger of being wasted.

When we first revealed this new dietary change to our friends, the reactions were varied. Some were positive, some were neutral. But a couple seemed downright insulted by our choice. Now, we expected some negative feedback, but not that anyone would take it personally. One asked us what happened and described how we were no longer as fun, and another mumbled under her breath something about when we change our minds to let her know.

Keep in mind, we aren't preachy at all about it. When asked, we simply state it is a personal ethical choice.

Has anyone else had this experience? Has anyone felt personally insulted by another person's vegetarianism? Why do you think someone would take this kind of news personally?

 

[Sunstone]

Why do you think someone would take this kind of news personally?

Humans very frequently psychologically self-identify with concepts, notions, and ideas. For instance, they think of themselves as "someone who is down-to-earth, eats meat, and doesn't go in for trendy things like vegetarianism".

Most people will defend their psychological self as adamantly as they will defend their physical self. And some people -- not all, but some -- feel themselves threatened by even trivial differences between themselves and others. If you tell them you're one thing, and they are not that thing, they can and sometimes do take it as if it were an attack on their person.

In my experience, that kind of person tends to be controlling, manipulative, petty, and often disloyal to others.

Not a great choice of person to befriend, Mike. Watch your back.

 

[psychoslice]

Most people like to keep us in their little box marked whatever they believe we should be, well at least in their minds, if we step out of that box they don't know how to handle it, they become confused, "how dare you step out of that box".

The best thing is not to tell people, that is if you are after people to agree with you on your choices that you make. Just be happy with what you do and forget about what others say, after all your not living your life for them, well I hope your not.

 

[Parsimony]

Doesn't bother me if someone tells me that they are vegetarian or even vegan. I'd only get annoyed if they tried to tell me I'm somehow cruel or insensitive for eating meat.

 

[McBell]

Doesn't bother me if someone tells me that they are vegetarian or even vegan. I'd only get annoyed if they tried to tell me I'm somehow cruel or insensitive for eating meat.

I agree.
However, I feel they have the right to voice their opinions (even if I dislike and or disagree with them) when flat out asked for their opinions.

Please note that I am not insinuating that you disagree with my "however" part.

 

[psychoslice]

I agree.
However, I feel they have the right to voice their opinions (even if I dislike and or disagree with them) when flat out asked for their opinions.

Please note that I am not insinuating that you disagree with my "however" part.

Yes I can agree with that, that is if you want an honest opinion and not after someone to just agree with you.

 

[McBell]

Yes I can agree with that, that is if you want an honest opinion and not after someone to just agree with you.

I have personally seen where a vegan was flat out asked why they chose to be vegan and then get verbally assaulted for merely giving their honest opinion.

I have Crohn's Disease and during a flare up meat makes things much worse for me.
So, obviously, I avoid meat like the plague during those times.

The thing is, during my flare ups I have been accused of all kinds of redundant asinine crap until I mention the reason I was not eating meat was because of my flare up.

This doe snot happen all the time,but it happens enough that I have witnessed it first hand when I am not even a vegetarian.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Most people like to keep us in their little box marked whatever they believe we should be, well at least in their minds, if we step out of that box they don't know how to handle it, they become confused, "how dare you step out of that box".

The best thing is not to tell people, that is if you are after people to agree with you on your choices that you make. Just be happy with what you do and forget about what others say, after all your not living your life for them, well I hope your not.

Humans very frequently psychologically self-identify with concepts, notions, and ideas. For instance, they think of themselves as "someone who is down-to-earth, eats meat, and doesn't go in for trendy things like vegetarianism".

Most people will defend their psychological self as adamantly as they will defend their physical self. And some people -- not all, but some -- feel themselves threatened by even trivial differences between themselves and others. If you tell them you're one thing, and they are not that thing, they can and sometimes do take it as if it were an attack on their person.

I think this is probably accurate.

As for not telling people, that is exceedingly hard as food is incredibly social. And, to an extent, I have a certain pride in accomplishing the goal of not eating factory farmed meat. But while I want to share the pride, I can see how this might be seen as "bragging" or "preaching an agenda" and I do tend to take others' feeling into account when conversing with them.

 

[dawny0826]

Has anyone else had this experience? Has anyone felt personally insulted by another person's vegetarianism? Why do you think someone would take this kind of news personally?

Not at all. I can't relate to this.

Sunstone has touched on this, I think.

There's a very real thing called "diet sabatoge" (but you could insert "diet" with another activity or descriptive).

What happens sometimes is that someone, as a result of their own insecurites, which they may or may not realize, will do or say things in a negative manner to derail another's success or to stigmatize the change.

We internalize what others share, often, even when we don't mean to. When we care about someone, it's hard sometimes to accept that the person we know is changing in some way. One may project negativity towards your choices because it makes them feel like they're being left behind or are falling behind in some way.

And then, some may appear insulted because for whatever reason, the notion of such a lifestyle offends them. You can't control the way others feel or think, regardless as to how fair or right it may be.

Real friends stick with you and get over it because they want you to be happy.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

I have personally seen where a vegan was flat out asked why they chose to be vegan and then get verbally assaulted for merely giving their honest opinion.

I have Crohn's Disease and during a flare up meat makes things much worse for me.
So, obviously, I avoid meat like the plague during those times.

The thing is, during my flare ups I have been accused of all kinds of redundant asinine crap until I mention the reason I was not eating meat was because of my flare up.

This doe snot happen all the time,but it happens enough that I have witnessed it first hand when I am not even a vegetarian.

You know, one of the first things folks ask me is whether there is a health reason or not, which suggests that it is in the choice that people get offended by dietary choices.

I suspect this is one reason why some people get caught up in finding a cause or reason for homosexuality. Take away the choice, and it doesn't seem as bad.

 

[Sunstone]

But while I want to share the pride...

As a rule of thumb, Mike, only someone's closest and best friends are likely to actually enjoy someone's sharing their pride with them. The rest of the world might at most more or less tolerate it, but it seldom gives them pleasure to hear another person tell them how proud he or she is of themselves. My impression of you, for what it's worth, is that you yourself are kind of an exception to that rule of thumb. You seem to me to enjoy it when other folks share their accomplishments with you. And that might or might not lead you to believe that people like yourself are common.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

As a rule of thumb, Mike, only someone's closest and best friends are likely to actually enjoy someone's sharing their pride with them. The rest of the world might at most more or less tolerate it, but it seldom gives them pleasure to hear another person tell them how proud he or she is of themselves. My impression of you, for what it's worth, is that you yourself are kind of an exception to that rule of thumb. You seem to me to enjoy it when other folks share their accomplishments with you. And that might or might not lead you to believe that people like yourself are common.

Wise words! I've never actually thought about that.

My gut assumption is that all people are curious and interested in the experiences of the rest of humanity. But I am a romantic at heart.

This is something I'll keep in mind.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I don't care what a person's diet of choice is as long as they don't push it on me.

 

[psychoslice]

I don't care what a person's diet of choice is as long as they don't push it on me.

This is true, its funny how a diet can become like a religion to many, and like many who try to push religion many also try to push their diet.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

This is true, its funny how a diet can become like a religion to many, and like many who try to push religion many also try to push their diet.

Do vegetarians and vegans push their diet? That has not been my experience.

 

[Sunstone]

My gut assumption is that all people are curious and interested in the experiences of the rest of humanity. But I am a romantic at heart.

My impression is folks are hugely interested in the experiences of other people, but they have very little interest in the egos of other people. That is, they want to know you're a vegetarian, but they don't want to hear that you take pride in being a vegetarian. You yourself -- and probably a few more people than I've been alleging -- like to hear whether someone thinks well of themselves.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

This is true, its funny how a diet can become like a religion to many, and like many who try to push religion many also try to push their diet.

So true. I've definitely noticed this.

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

This is one of the main reasons why I cannot be a vegetarian.

If my parents invite me over for dinner, I cannot get to dictate to them what to serve me, nor can I refuse to attend.

I just have to sit there and eat whatever is on my plate and shut up about it. They are hugely offended by my wish to be vegetarian.

Their premise is 'food is food...it is meant to keep one alive...so eat what you are given'.

I even have arguments with my father who tells me 'you cannot get organic iron from any other source than meat...and no, spinach doesn't count because your body cannot absorb it'...and all that sort of rubbish.

The worst part is when he cooks me up a dish of lamb's fry (liver) and I am expected to eat it. I do eat it, but go and stick my fingers down my throat and throw it all up not long after that though.

 

[LuisDantas]

I suspect this is one reason why some people get caught up in finding a cause or reason for homosexuality. Take away the choice, and it doesn't seem as bad.

People are odd that way.

For far too many people, lack of choice makes situations acceptable. Which of course means that they do not accept that people might want to make certain choices. Odd, but the matter of the fact is that people usually have a hard time respecting choices that they do not share and do not quite understand.

 

[Caladan]

I have no general problem with personal choices. I eat everything, however when a vegetarian comes for dinner then dinner is going to be vegetarian, if a kosher eating person comes over then dinner is going to be kosher. The effort is so minimal that it is simply courtesy rather than an effort. I can eat very well even if I have vegetarian or kosher food that night.