Do People Get Personally Insulted By Vegetarianism?

[Wherenextcolumbus]

My wife (Gentoo, for those who don't know us) and I have been experimenting with vegetarianism. This is an ethical choice based on the environmental hazards and cruelty of industrial animal farming. Gentoo is entirely vegetarian (not vegan), and I will eat meat that has either been ethically raised or harvested (including hunted) or in danger of being wasted.

When we first revealed this new dietary change to our friends, the reactions were varied. Some were positive, some were neutral. But a couple seemed downright insulted by our choice. Now, we expected some negative feedback, but not that anyone would take it personally. One asked us what happened and described how we were no longer as fun, and another mumbled under her breath something about when we change our minds to let her know.

Keep in mind, we aren't preachy at all about it. When asked, we simply state it is a personal ethical choice.

Has anyone else had this experience? Has anyone felt personally insulted by another person's vegetarianism? Why do you think someone would take this kind of news personally?

I have had people ask about why I'm vegetarian and then proceed to justify to me why they eat meat and why it's morally justifiable to eat meat. Not that I was even "preaching" to them either. I actually never talk about being a vegetarian unless I'm asked about it and even then I don't say much. I have only ever teased my close family about eating meat and they tease me too, but no one else.
I have had a little debate with my family about if I have children would I cook them meat. I wouldn't cook them meat and some of my family thought that was really awful of me, which is very hypercritical of them in a lot of ways.

I think it's their own insecurity that they are being judged by you, even when you aren't judging them.

Has your girlfriend felt sick at the smell of meat yet?

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

This is one of the main reasons why I cannot be a vegetarian.

If my parents invite me over for dinner, I cannot get to dictate to them what to serve me, nor can I refuse to attend.

I just have to sit there and eat whatever is on my plate and shut up about it. They are hugely offended by my wish to be vegetarian.

Their premise is 'food is food...it is meant to keep one alive...so eat what you are given'.

I even have arguments with my father who tells me 'you cannot get organic iron from any other source than meat...and no, spinach doesn't count because your body cannot absorb it'...and all that sort of rubbish.

The worst part is when he cooks me up a dish of lamb's fry (liver) and I am expected to eat it. I do eat it, but go and stick my fingers down my throat and throw it all up not long after that though.

I'm sorry to hear that you're finding it difficult to get support. If you're good at cooking yourself maybe invite your Dad over for veggie dinner, and see if that helps change his perspective?

 

[Vinayaka]

In 40 years I've rarely had a problem, but most people don't find out. Since retirement, it's been far less. When I worked, there were certain occasions like staff dinners when somebody would find out. I'd refuse politely, but I can't honestly ever remember getting a scolding for it. In fact, generally at staff functions if they were potluck, 2 or 3 people would bring things with me in mind.

 

[metis]

I much prefer eating vegetarian but my wife can't because it creates problems with her digestive system and weakens her immune system. OTOH, I have no problem with it at all with one exception, namely that I am pre-diabetic whereas I really have to watch my carb intake, and my experience is that the less meat I eat, I have a tendency to consume more carbs because my wife can't handle lots of veggies.

 

[Ablaze]

No one I've encountered has been insulted by it, but quite a few have been confused. When they ask why, I usually say "for health reasons" to avoid getting into a debate on ethics. I keep my personal opinions private.

 

[Knight of Albion]

My wife (Gentoo, for those who don't know us) and I have been experimenting with vegetarianism. This is an ethical choice based on the environmental hazards and cruelty of industrial animal farming. Gentoo is entirely vegetarian (not vegan), and I will eat meat that has either been ethically raised or harvested (including hunted) or in danger of being wasted.

When we first revealed this new dietary change to our friends, the reactions were varied. Some were positive, some were neutral. But a couple seemed downright insulted by our choice. Now, we expected some negative feedback, but not that anyone would take it personally. One asked us what happened and described how we were no longer as fun, and another mumbled under her breath something about when we change our minds to let her know.

Keep in mind, we aren't preachy at all about it. When asked, we simply state it is a personal ethical choice.

Has anyone else had this experience? Has anyone felt personally insulted by another person's vegetarianism? Why do you think someone would take this kind of news personally?

Repetition becomes habit.

Habit is seldom questioned.

I suspect your decision to go vegetarian has made them aware for the first time of what they are doing, that they are eating the flesh of another sentient being, that they are responsible for it's death, and that it may have had a miserable life and a violent demise - and it's making them feel uncomfortable, but they aren't yet ready or willing to forsake meat hence the friction.

We should all stand by our principles, no matter what. If you lose a 'friend', so be it.

 

[Sees]

I am vegan about 99% of the time...meat or cheese maybe a couple meals a month or some cream liquor with coffee.

With what I do for a living a lot of guys seem very concerned because they have been taught that it is a very unhealthy diet. It's pounded in from an early age and meat/dairy is a big part of "sports nutrition"...it's a given for military/contractors/instructors to think they need it for peak performance. Non-work related friends and family almost always want to incorporate more vegan and vegetarian meals...at least for a week or so lol

I just usually say "works for me" and change the subject after 30 seconds or so of Q&A with preachy types. If they seem to at least have a half empty cup then I might do some friendly debate on issues, reasons, etc.

 

[Knight of Albion]

I am vegan about 99% of the time...meat or cheese maybe a couple meals a month or some cream liquor with coffee.

With what I do for a living a lot of guys seem very concerned because they have been taught that it is a very unhealthy diet. It's pounded in from an early age and meat/dairy is a big part of "sports nutrition"...it's a given for military/contractors/instructors to think they need it for peak performance. Non-work related friends and family almost always want to incorporate more vegan and vegetarian meals...at least for a week or so lol

I just usually say "works for me" and change the subject after 30 seconds or so of Q&A with preachy types. If they seem to at least have a half empty cup then I might do some friendly debate on issues, reasons, etc.

The days of 'carrot cruncher' and 'bunny hugger' jibes are over. Veganism and vegetarianism are now accepted into the mainstream.
There are a growing number of vegans nowadays, including some famous names - Bill Clinton, Mike Tyson, Chaka Khan for example.

On the subject of sport and nutrition, there is a great website called Great Vegan Athletes which shows that you don't need meat and dairy to achieve strength, fitness and endurance.
Great Vegan Athletes | Great Vegan Athletes
(Patrik Baboumian and Fiona Oakes are my two favourites from there.)

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Because it's touted as a superior dietary choice by some experts, people who aren't vegetarian or vegan may take a proclamation as "I'm-better-than-you" attack on their ego. They don't see it as a personal choice.

I see it very differently, since I have found myself doing very poorly on a vegetarian diet after several years of vegetarianism and a couple years of veganism. But I know if I'm asked why I eat meat, depending on if a vegetarian becomes angered over my own choices, it's the same mental process as when the scripts were flipped.

I remember when my vegetarianism angered some meat eaters, and now I find every now and then vegetarians who are angered or disappointed at my food choices now. It's the same moral high-ground of "how could you support the killing of animals?" when I say that it works best for me and my health. Or I'll get some of the same exasperated proselytizing of diet information that is - from what I've found - as reliable as some other dietary advice from professionals.

What you may be experiencing, Mike, is the other side of the argument.

 

[illykitty]

What I personally find funny, is when you go on a website or watch a video by a vegetarian, aimed at vegetarians and you'll find people who are insulting this person. Why are they looking for vegetarian stuff then get offended by it? Makes no sense.

As for the OP, Sunstone has already said what I thought. And that goes for any choice, not just vegetarianism.

Question, to anyone, do you see information given out as preaching?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

What I personally find funny, is when you go on a website or watch a video by a vegetarian, aimed at vegetarians and you'll find people who are insulting this person. Why are they looking for vegetarian stuff then get offended by it? Makes no sense.

As for the OP, Sunstone has already said what I thought. And that goes for any choice, not just vegetarianism.

Question, to anyone, do you see information given out as preaching?

If there is an element of superiority to it, yes.

 

[Astravalon]

What I personally find funny, is when you go on a website or watch a video by a vegetarian, aimed at vegetarians and you'll find people who are insulting this person. Why are they looking for vegetarian stuff then get offended by it? Makes no sense.

As for the OP, Sunstone has already said what I thought. And that goes for any choice, not just vegetarianism.

Question, to anyone, do you see information given out as preaching?

It only has a preachy feel if it's done with an air of moral superiority, or if those
who don't follow a particular way of eating are demonized somehow. Especially
given that no matter what is eaten, something that would've preferred to live,
and that was designed to survive, has to die.

In fact, some react to preachiness by doubling up on whatever offending food-
source is being preached against, the effect being that the preacher may as well
have just eaten the offending food themselves for all the good the sermon did
for their Cause.

Otherwise, I think the information is good to have out there, because not all
bodies are the same; not everyone's bodies can be at their best on what are,
for others, an ideal meal-plan. If tomorrow my system decides it can't digest
meat, the wealth of info out there on vegetarian and vegan options is going to
come in very handy and I'll be even more thankful for it.

In short, as long as ego is kept out of it, it's perfectly fine, imo.


-

 

[Alceste]

My wife (Gentoo, for those who don't know us) and I have been experimenting with vegetarianism. This is an ethical choice based on the environmental hazards and cruelty of industrial animal farming. Gentoo is entirely vegetarian (not vegan), and I will eat meat that has either been ethically raised or harvested (including hunted) or in danger of being wasted.

When we first revealed this new dietary change to our friends, the reactions were varied. Some were positive, some were neutral. But a couple seemed downright insulted by our choice. Now, we expected some negative feedback, but not that anyone would take it personally. One asked us what happened and described how we were no longer as fun, and another mumbled under her breath something about when we change our minds to let her know.

Keep in mind, we aren't preachy at all about it. When asked, we simply state it is a personal ethical choice.

Has anyone else had this experience? Has anyone felt personally insulted by another person's vegetarianism? Why do you think someone would take this kind of news personally?

I totally remember that from my vegetarian days. People would ask me why I didn't eat meat and then get annoyed about my answer, regardless of how I answered. Plus my family needled me about it constantly, and my father used to lecture me about how if I'm not eating meat I need to plan a diet down to the last detail to make sure I get all my nutrients, bla bla bla. This from a man who basically lives on diet soft drinks and canned beans.

It's not just vegetarianism that gets stick from people though, I've noticed. It's ANY ethical choice. I do my best to stick to options that are fair trade, organic, local, unprocessed, low carbon, bla bla bla. All of it annoys certain types of people.

Basically, I expect some people prefer not to think about ethics at all, and allowing ethical considerations to affect your behavior makes them have to think about it. Or maybe they feel a bit guilty about their own choices and lash out.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I tend to avoid people who get offended about trivial personal details about myself which are none of their business in the first place.

 

[Alceste]

I tend to avoid people who get offended about trivial personal details about myself which are none of their business in the first place.

I've got this friend who always asks for my opinion before buying something when we're out together, then gets ****** off at me for giving it. For example, we were in a posh clothing store and she tried on a $200 blouse, then asked "what do you think?" I said "If you want to buy clothes made in China, they're cheaper at Walmart". And she was ******. If you don't want to know, why ask?

Last time she visited she asked if I thought she should buy a five foot tall totem pole by an unknown artist from a tourist shop and fly home with it. I don't think we're friends any more, but she is the proud owner of a five foot tall totem pole. And a $200 blouse made in China, come to think of it.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I've got this friend who always asks for my opinion before buying something when we're out together, then gets ****** off at me for giving it. For example, we were in a posh clothing store and she tried on a $200 blouse, then asked "what do you think?" I said "If you want to buy clothes made in China, they're cheaper at Walmart". And she was ******. If you don't want to know, why ask?

Last time she visited she asked if I thought she should buy a five foot tall totem pole by an unknown artist from a tourist shop and fly home with it. I don't think we're friends any more, but she is the proud owner of a five foot tall totem pole. And a $200 blouse made in China, come to think of it.

Yeah, there seems to be a certain type of person who confuses telling you what they want to hear with asking you what you actually think. Personally, I find these people to be an endless fountain of comedic entertainment.

 

[Tumah]

Are you kidding me? Vegetarianism? How dare you? How could I not be insulted? If we weren't supposed to eat it it wouldn't be made out of meat. How dare you! Not only are you disrespecting my gustation, but you are disrespecting the gastronomy of the entire CO (Carnivores and Omnivores) community around the world. Don't you think all animals should have the right to be eaten? Do you think animals are inferior to fish or eggs that only they should have the right to be eaten? No, I'm sorry. This is just not right. No animal should have to face the prejudice of some elitist few who don't think animals are good enough for them to eat. That is just despicable.

And don't even get me started on Animalism or Humanism.

)(True story)( One time someone started describing himself as an veganimahumanist. I almost had an aneurysm.

 

[Alceste]

Yeah, there seems to be a certain type of person who confuses telling you what they want to hear with asking you what you actually think. Personally, I find these people to be an endless fountain of comedic entertainment.

As do I. She is an extraordinarily funny person. Watching her try to get that totem pole past the check-in without paying for the extra weight was a gas.

 

[illykitty]

I've got this friend who always asks for my opinion before buying something when we're out together, then gets ****** off at me for giving it. For example, we were in a posh clothing store and she tried on a $200 blouse, then asked "what do you think?" I said "If you want to buy clothes made in China, they're cheaper at Walmart". And she was ******. If you don't want to know, why ask?

Last time she visited she asked if I thought she should buy a five foot tall totem pole by an unknown artist from a tourist shop and fly home with it. I don't think we're friends any more, but she is the proud owner of a five foot tall totem pole. And a $200 blouse made in China, come to think of it.

Thanks for the laughs! That was a great (and honest) response. She probably got annoyed cause she knows it's true.

But yeah, I know someone who thinks a £200 jumper is a bargain. I can't stand her at all. At first it was somewhat funny how she lived in her own little bubble but now it's just annoying.

 

[Caladan]

Are you kidding me? Vegetarianism? How dare you? How could I not be insulted? If we weren't supposed to eat it it wouldn't be made out of meat. How dare you! Not only are you disrespecting my gustation, but you are disrespecting the gastronomy of the entire CO (Carnivores and Omnivores) community around the world. Don't you think all animals should have the right to be eaten? Do you think animals are inferior to fish or eggs that only they should have the right to be eaten? No, I'm sorry. This is just not right. No animal should have to face the prejudice of some elitist few who don't think animals are good enough for them to eat. That is just despicable.

And don't even get me started on Animalism or Humanism.

)(True story)( One time someone started describing himself as an veganimahumanist. I almost had an aneurysm.

WOW. I just think you summarized my life's philosophy about being a carnivore. All animals should have the right to be eaten!