When i found God, i also found out that God isnt real. No sense in ducking and dodging reality. I cleared the decks of my delusions at the age of my youth.
Many Atheists have no desire to live forever, and they cant understand anyone who does have this desire.
But all i found in searching for God was utter dissappointment. And then as to not swim against the tide, i joined up with the practice of religion; probably just to survive and not be called out as a heretic.
It wasted a lot of years i will never get back being on the quest for something i knew wasnt true.
So i would fellowship as if a believer, to avoid trouble and pressure to convert. Just simply to get along for necessity sake.
I didnt need enemies in my own house.
The one thing i have noticed about believers is that the desire for a merciful God is strong, and they will unknowingly rationalize anything away that gets in the way of their beliefs. They are deeply committed and live the very things they read, though they make absolutely no coherent sense, they find sense in it anyway. They were absolutely blind to anything good outside of their box of belief. No one can make them see reality, while all the while i am under coercion to forfeit my sense of reality.
The bottom line is truth. They had theirs, and i was after the real thing. They fell short of seeing reality for what it says is true, and only saw what the book was telling them was true. They gave up on themselves is all i can reckon.
Every person is meant to see for themselves what is true and real. To see things as is and not as they want or need them to be.
Sum it up, they knew they had the truth of reality, and so did i. And yet enemies is what they made out of me. Its what they made out of themselves toward every non believer.
So if God was real , i really dont think God would care about belief and faith as a requirement to be saved from hell. God probably only would care that you did your best to live a good and decent life.
Where is the obviousness of God in reality after all?