Do some people take life to serious?

[Spirit of Light]

I personally say we have to find a balance in life

I look at it this way. It the Spiritual path on this earth was not to participate in life, work and contribute, then there is no purpose for us to be here and we could not be here, as it takes all those things to survive.

Thus I see the spiritual path is to participate in life to our fullest capacity, work hard and contribute the fruit produced to as many as we can. In that way life becomes a constant prayer.

Regards Tony

I don`t say everyone should or can live their life they way i have chosen to do 99% of human beings would live a normal life within society with jobs and friends and see that as the purpose of life and that is fine As a meditation practitioner the spiritual part of life is the true life.

 

[Trailblazer]

99% of human beings would live a normal life within society with jobs and friends and see that as the purpose of life and that is fine

I never had a normal life and I do not expect that will ever change.
I have always had a normal job with normal people who have kids and friends and activities, but I never fit in.
It's been tough, but it is easier now that I have people like you on forums.

 

[charlie sc]

Then where will it be? Why not here?

I’m not saying don’t procrastinate, even though it would probably be better if people didn’t procrastinate in general. I’m saying, it’s a bad idea to procrastinate if you want spiritual and/or emotional growth.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I never had a normal life and I do not expect that will ever change.
I have always had a normal job with normal people who have kids and friends and activities, but I never fit in.
It's been tough, but it is easier now that I have people like you on forums.

Should we always "fit in" ? I actually think that to really be able to live a spiritual life one should pull back a bit from society because there is a lot going on that is not healthy for someone who want to live a spiritual life to much in a society is focused outward to materalistic things, that must be of some kind of "special" brand.
But i do understand that when one have kids it will be somewhat difficult to live "outside" of society.

 

[Trailblazer]

I’m not saying don’t procrastinate, even though it would probably be better if people didn’t procrastinate in general. I’m saying, it’s a bad idea to procrastinate if you want spiritual and/or emotional growth.

Maybe so, but I think we can have an illusion that we are in control when in fact we are not in complete control of our own destiny, so trying to do things we are not yet ready to do can be an exercise in futility.
I think that doors open when the time is right and we have to be willing to look for them and walk through.

 

[Trailblazer]

Should we always "fit in" ? I actually think that to really be able to live a spiritual life one should pull back a bit from society because there is a lot going on that is not healthy for someone who want to live a spiritual life to much in a society is focused outward to materalistic things, that must be of some kind of "special" brand.
But i do understand that when one have kids it will be somewhat difficult to live "outside" of society.

I fully agree. I do not want to fit into society and I do not have to because I do not have kids. That is probably one reason I never wanted kids.
It is just a little uncomfortable being around people who are so different all day long at work but I cannot be someone I am not just to fit in.
All Baha'is are not like me, most of them live within society with jobs and friends and kids and activities. I do not fit in with them either, so I just keep to myself with my husband. It is painful to be around people who are so different but it is not their fault or my fault, we are just different. I cannot live for the world because I do not consider it important.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I fully agree. I do not want to fit into society and I do not have to because I do not have kids. That is probably one reason I never wanted kids.
It is just a little uncomfortable being around people who are so different all day long at work but I cannot be someone I am not just to fit in.
All Baha'is are not like me, most of them live within society with jobs and friends and kids and activities. I do not fit in with them either, so I just keep to myself with my husband. It is painful to be around people who are so different but it is not their fault or my fault, we are just different. I cannot live for the world because I do not consider it important.

From very young age i knew i would not want kids my self, Because of how the world is i can not put a being in to life that must go thru life in the way it is socially accepted today But i do not say people should think like me I do live with a woman but she thinks a lot like i do, so maybe i was lucky when she found me hehe

 

[Trailblazer]

From very young age i knew i would not want kids my self, Because of how the world is i can not put a being in to life that must go thru life in the way it is socially accepted today But i do not say people should think like me I do live with a woman but she thinks a lot like i do, so maybe i was lucky when she found me hehe

Likewise, I also knew I never wanted kids from an early age.
I never thought about why, but I think I know now it was because I was not really wanted as a kid.
My husband is like me, same kind of family background, and he did not want kids either.
So I guess we are two peas in a pod.
You were lucky and she was lucky... I am glad you found someone you feel comfortable with.

 

[Shia Islam]

The teaching of the religious path we have chosen to cultivate must be taken serious, But not one self it is ok to have fun

one should be careful though that he\she does not confuse the two!

 

[Spirit of Light]

one should be careful though that he\she does not confuse the two!

Letting go of the self/ego solve that

 

[charlie sc]

Maybe so, but I think we can have an illusion that we are in control when in fact we are not in complete control of our own destiny, so trying to do things we are not yet ready to do can be an exercise in futility.
I think that doors open when the time is right and we have to be willing to look for them and walk through.

I agree, but the first step to change is knowing and realising you’re doing it. Sometimes, that’s all that’s needed

 

[sealchan]

To follow a spiritual path can sometimes lead a person to be to serious about life ( I been there)
But may it be that we need to stop being afraid of doing wrong, and if we do wrong learn from it, instead of becoming to serious about it and actually fear our own faults?

My newfound joy in life is seeing life in a more happy way (living in the moment). Laugh of my own "stuid" way of being from time to time, and when someone have fun toward me, to smile and have fun back

Life is actually really fun when you let go of the fear of doing something wrong.

The only way to advance spiritually IMO is to put our conscious ego in its place. The ego sometimes thinks it is the business owner when it is more like the over worked, untrained receptionist. When we realize this, then we truly have compassion for others and we are filled with awe at the mystery of how it all still works somehow. And we take ourselves less seriously as we see how we are not so in control yet we are uplifted as if we are being cared for.

 

[sealchan]

From very young age i knew i would not want kids my self, Because of how the world is i can not put a being in to life that must go thru life in the way it is socially accepted today But i do not say people should think like me I do live with a woman but she thinks a lot like i do, so maybe i was lucky when she found me hehe

I often think that we are all really quite a bit alike but that somehow society, ironically, makes us feel like we are all strangers.

 

[usfan]

Good thread. Very true, that many people take themselves too seriously, and can even kill others, to serve God...

But passion and conviction is not exclusive to philosophers or religious minded people.

'The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.”
W.B. Yeats

In this world of blind men, all try to describe the elephant they cannot see. A little self doubt and circumspection would go a long ways, in cooling the fires of dispute.

"The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt." ~Bertrand Russell

We should have a great fewer disputes in the world if words were taken for what they are, the signs of our ideas only, and not for things themselves. ~John Locke

 

[Trailblazer]

I agree, but the first step to change is knowing and realising you’re doing it. Sometimes, that’s all that’s needed

Sometimes that realization is all that's needed to change...
But sometimes awareness does not solve the problem.
We can KNOW there is a problem yet be unable to DO anything about it.....
That is where control enters in; we think we should try to control the problem especially once we are aware of it, yet we cannot seem to DO anything about it....
How do you think we can know when to act and when to wait?

 

[charlie sc]

Sometimes that realization is all that's needed to change...
But sometimes awareness does not solve the problem.
We can KNOW there is a problem yet be unable to DO anything about it.....
That is where control enters in; we think we should try to control the problem especially once we are aware of it, yet we cannot seem to DO anything about it....
How do you think we can know when to act and when to wait?

I don’t think the majority of people can change even if they know they have a problem or want to change. They’ll most likely need help, but to ask for help you need to know and understand what’s preventing you from changing. This is why the first step is to, at least, know and understand what the problem is. The reason I say know and understand is because someone may know the symptom, like alcoholism, but won’t understand how this developed. It may have developed because of some unresolved trauma. Control is an illusion. The healthy goal is always accepting who you are, including your needs and desires.

This is always harder said than done. However, if the person doesn’t know they have a problem, they’ll never seek help, nor will they develop the necessary tools.

 

[Trailblazer]

I don’t think the majority of people can change even if they know they have a problem or want to change. They’ll most likely need help, but to ask for help you need to know and understand what’s preventing you from changing. This is why the first step is to, at least, know and understand what the problem is

But even if we know what the problem is that does not mean that the problem can be solved. Sometimes we just have to live with it. It does not necessarily mean that "we" have some kind of psychological problem just because we have circumstances in our lives that we cannot do anything about, at least not at a certain time. It could be a psychological problem or maybe not. How can we know if it is? We cannot know what is in our subconscious minds, only what is in our conscious minds.

I think it is an illusion of control to think we can fix everything in our lives that we do not like, just because we want to. Life is just not that simple because there are emotions, and often there are finances and other people involved.
Something got us to where we are at but we cannot change the past, all we can do is try to figure out the best course of action, and to do that we need to use our logical brain.

The reason I say know and understand is because someone may know the symptom, like alcoholism, but won’t understand how this developed. It may have developed because of some unresolved trauma. Control is an illusion. The healthy goal is always accepting who you are, including your needs and desires.

So you do not think that "who you are' ever needs to be changed? Do you think that desires are the same as needs?

This is always harder said than done. However, if the person doesn’t know they have a problem, they’ll never seek help, nor will they develop the necessary tools.

Well, that's true. The first step is self-awareness and there are degrees of self-awareness, since nobody is aware of what is in their subconscious mind. The goal is to have more self-awareness, but there will always be things we are unaware of.

 

[charlie sc]

But even if we know what the problem is that does not mean that the problem can be solved. Sometimes we just have to live with it.

True, but not just live with it but accept it.

How can we know if it is?

This is quite a complicated question. Suffice to say, psychological issues are ones that are usually self inflicted by some copying mechanism formed out of necessity. If it is a neurological disorder then it needs to be diagnosed. Even so, mental health is vital in everyone, not just people who do or don't have disorders.

We cannot know what is in our subconscious minds, only what is in our conscious minds.

There are multiple theories but I'm speaking generally and from my opinion.

I think it is an illusion of control to think we can fix everything in our lives that we do not like, just because we want to.

Sometimes fixing is the accepting and sometimes there is no fixing. Nonetheless, you might find if someone accepts who they are, they may find they don't need a fix

Something got us to where we are at but we cannot change the past, all we can do is try to figure out the best course of action, and to do that we need to use our logical brain.

We cannot change the past but our identity is formed from our past. The past is part of us. As much as I love logic, the logical brain does not control the emotional side. In fact, it's reversed. The emotional side requires a non-judgemental and safe place for it maturely develop. You cannot ignore your emotional just as you cannot ignore your past.

So you do not think that "who you are' ever needs to be changed? Do you think that desires are the same as needs?

People will always change in some manner, but no one needs to be changed. The whole point is accepting who you are.

What you need may be different from what you desire. However, it's important not to shun or ignore either of them.

Well, that's true. The first step is self-awareness and there are degrees of self-awareness, since nobody is aware of what is in their subconscious mind. The goal is to have more self-awareness, but there will always be things we are unaware of.

Yes.

 

[Firemorphic]

As I see it, it's judgment of self and judgment of others that leads one to take life too seriously and this leads to unnecessary suffering. Once one is able to accept oneself and others for who they are, one will reduce or eliminate this suffering.

I have found that the Four Agreements helpful in affecting this. They had a profound effect on my life once I understood them and began living by this Toltec wisdom...

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Toltec Spirit | Common Sense Wisdom for the Spiritual Warrior's Journey

Interesting, well "Laugh love live learn" is a maxim I stand by.

 

[SalixIncendium]

Interesting, well "Laugh love live learn" is a maxim I stand by.

I’ve always incorporated the learning into the living for myself. It’s because I realize former isn’t for everyone.