The thought of being a spirit without a body (Ghost) and joining the spirit world appeals to me far more than this life. The thought of not existing at all appeals to me as well. The thought of Heaven and purgatory I find more appealing than this life. I don't look forward to death under the condition that I'm tortured in the flames of hell forever, but the other prospects appeal to me enough that I'd be happy to move on today.
My hope is that with death will come enlightenment and clear understanding of all the mysteries we've pondered, and in that sense, I can't wait (But suicide is NOT an option however)!
You?
No.
I suffer from depression off and on and sometimes it's worse towards suicidal thoughts. I went to my grandmother's funeral I think three years ago and when we were placing my grandmother in the ground, I thought about preventing from being able to talk to her. When we were in the car, before we left, my little sister (I say little. She's, I think 21) with a baby face came to the passenger side of the door and I opened it. I told her I wish I could have talked with my grandmother (and almost in tears) and I can see her face. She was telling me about our grandmother's condition before she passed away.
She had this look and facial expression in her eyes, told me to call her once a week, and just gave me that I-love-you look and I miss you that to look forward to death regardless of how is like literally killing my family members. I never knew my grandmother too well so I can't imagine when my mother or father (since he is sick) passes away. I couldn't even make it through my grandmother's funeral.
So, I don't look forward to death. Death, to me, means crossing over as spirit so I can take care of family members. However, as much as I try to talk with my family in spirit, there is always something missing-their actual presence. That is very important. We can have platonic relationships, talk about jesus all we want, but when it comes to actually
knowing someone, you have to be in their presence.
What scares me the most about death is
how I will die not the death itself. We can say all the "facts" we want about heaven, spirits, and so forth but just like not knowing what my neighbor is doing next door, just because it's religious, doesn't mean I know all that much about after life as well.
The Buddha talks about meditation, knowledge, and understanding of suffering. How he puts it compared to Christ is that life and living is what lets us understand the nature of our lives. What we appreciate about our lives now and conduct ourselves helps us understand life. It's not sacrifice and it's not having someone die or death to understand life but life to understand death.
So, I don't look forward to death; I look forward to life. We are in a circle of life, so as spirit, I'd just be continuing with life. If I die with no recollection, I can't feel anything about it. I'd be just, dead.
