Thanks.
You are right when you say "What I cannot find rational is that he is all that history has led us to try to believe". If we define "rational" as that which deals with the mind, indeed faith is not rational. Faith deals with the spirit and, though it can be understood rationally, it is still abides in the realm of the irrational.
If I can give you some of my background because, for me, it gives understanding. It might be called bias or it can also be called illumination.
I dealt with the "rational" for 28 years of my life. Had gone to church less than a dozen times and by parents even less. The rational may work for some but it wasn't working for me. I remember staring into a Tom Collins, (it may date me some
), and wondering, "Where are all the miracles that I have heard about". Hadn't read about them, just heard about them.
After giving my life to Jesus Christ, the supernatural began to happen on a continual basis and still does.
Does it make me bias? Probably, in the eyes of those who haven't experienced what I have. For others, it isn't bias but rather a confirmation. Depends on which life-paradigm one is viewing it from. As Paul penned it, for some it is foolishness but for others it is life transforming power.
Thinking at it rationally, we know something happened creating a paradigm shift in the times of Jesus. At one moment there is 12 and 3 years later it is basically worldwide. At one moment it is insignificant and years later, as one person put it, "it has turned the world upside down" without killing one person.
We know by Pliny's letters, that believers were committed even to death. We know by Cornelius Tacitus and Lucian that Jesus suffered the supreme death of the crucifixion. Certainly it is a belief in something that made it happen. Can other people die because they believe in something? Absolutely. The question is what did those believers believe in.
IMO, to discount what was written by the believers a scant 30 to 40 years after the death of Jesus, is to throw out all of archaeological discoveries as irrelevant. To say that those who lived in the second generation after the eyewitnesses died on the basis for of not knowing what happened and just creating a myth, IMO, is to throw out all of WWII after the first generation dies and that anything recounted by their children is a myth. One can say "we have proof of WWII, which would be true. But two thousand years ago we have lost a lot of evidence even as ISIS is now destroying evidence of its past as it bulldozes down the evidence. Can you imagine two thousand years from now someone saying "We have no evidence of Iraq's history"--which would be a true statement yet not because there wasn't a history.
So, viewing the supernatural in my life gives me the support I need to validate the
possibilities of what happened in the time of Jesus. Unless there is irrevocable evidence to the contrary (taking into account the difficulty of 2000 years of natural and human destruction), I will continue to look at it through the eyes of possibilities (using rational and logical viewpoints and not the irrational "Well, you just have to accept it by faith". There is a difference between rational thinking that brings you into the foolishness of faith vs irrational faith.
(I haven't listed the sites that confirm the history understanding that you have probably studied it already through your education)/
Again, there is a difference between faith that brings you into the irrational supernatural vs irrational faith.
I hope I haven't made this clear as mud. I trust you to advise me where I did.
Edit PS
I would contend that the issue of the Messiah was always a point of contention from the beginning. We do know that the belief that Jesus was the Messiah started with the Jews and even those of the cloth with other Jews saying that he did not live up to the standard including those of the cloth. I don't expect that to ever change.
However, I believe that he did and certainly both Jews and Jews Rabbi's of the time of Jesus did. I realize that after the destruction of Jerusalem there was an irreversible divide between those who believed and those who didn't. Today we still have a contingency of Jews that believe and those who don't. At the same time we have the vast majority of the Jews that believe in everything and in between, from atheism to Hinduism, from Buddhism to Secularism.
PPS:
We may differ in the interpretations of what we read and I'm find with that. Either one of us may end up being proved that we are wrong or maybe we both are wrong. It is the nature of intelligent discussion.