Do your beliefs make you happy?

[PearlSeeker]

I think the way one sees everything is a choice. And if one focuses on negative side of everything, he will likely become depressed. One can as well focus on comical side of everything and then life is much happier.

I knew a person who focused on the comical side (telling jokes, a lot of laughing...). Until her son (also very humorous) committed suicide... She couldn't see anything positive anymore.

 

[Spice]

I am still thinking about it and if nothing else it gives me hope for the future. I plan to discuss it in my counseling session next week.

If I did move I would want a setup similar to what I have now with an entirely separate living area in case I need a caregiver in the future. That would be a tall order to find that and the privacy and wooded lot I have now with no neighbors around me. I do have some neighbors up the long gravel road coming into my house and I really like them but they never come down to my house.

Perhaps consider a retirement community with wooded walking trails, etc.

 

[Spice]

If events had been different for me at times I would likely agree, but some things seem to have intervened so as to make my life more complicated than I would like it to have been.

Isn't nearly everyone's life more complicated than they would like for it to be?

 

[Kathryn]

Isn't nearly everyone's life more complicated than they would like for it to be?

I guess but mine got REALLY COMPLICATED after my husband unexpectedly died.

 

[Spice]

I guess but mine got REALLY COMPLICATED after my husband unexpectedly died.

Mine have gotten really, really complicated multiple times. Try giving birth to a child with multiple birth defects and no medical insurance, no reliable transportation, nor household income. That's just one example. We could all play "one-up" continuously but it accomplish nothing. Life sometimes sucks. The End. <3 <3. <3

 

[Kathryn]

Mine have gotten really, really complicated multiple times. Try giving birth to a child with multiple birth defects and no medical insurance, no reliable transportation, nor household income. That's just one example. We could all play "one-up" continuously but it accomplish nothing. Life sometimes sucks. The End. <3 <3. <3

It's true. I believe we live in a fallen world and in this world we will have various tribulations. I'm not trying to one up anyone by the way. I am sure people's lives are often harder than mine. I'm just giving an example of one type of hardship. Even so, I still wouldn't want to trade places with anyone.

 

[Spice]

It's true. I believe we live in a fallen world and in this world we will have various tribulations. I'm not trying to one up anyone by the way. I am sure people's lives are often harder than mine. I'm just giving an example of one type of hardship. Even so, I still wouldn't want to trade places with anyone.

Hardships come and we carry on.
Namaste

 

[Trailblazer]

some things seem to have intervened so as to make my life more complicated than I would like it to have been.

The exact same thing happened to me. My life is way too complicated, especially for someone my age!

 

[Trailblazer]

I don't think God plays favorites.

Why then are some people's live so much more difficult than others?

I think the way one sees everything is a choice. And if one focuses on negative side of everything, he will likely become depressed. One can as well focus on comical side of everything and then life is much happier.

I disagree that the way people see life is a choice. Free will is very limited.

I believe we have a will and we make choices based upon our desires and preferences, which come from a combination of factors such as childhood upbringing, heredity, education, adult experiences, and present life circumstances - everything that goes into making us the person we are. All of these factors are the reasons why we choose one thing or another at any point in time.

How free our choices vary with the situation. Certainly, what we refer to as “free will” has many constraints such as ability and opportunity but we have volition as otherwise we could not do anything.

Recently I have changed my mind about how free we are when I realized just how limited I am in making choices different from the choices I am making now. I believe that free will is deterministic because the choices we make are 'determined' by a combination of factors such as childhood upbringing, heredity, education, adult experiences, and present life circumstances.

I also believe that much of what happens to us in this life is fated/predestined by God, and as such it is not a choice.

 

[Trailblazer]

Validating your beliefs makes you happy, not the beliefs themselves.

To validate means to prove that something is based on truth or fact, or is acceptable.
Only in the sense that we can prove our beliefs to ourselves can our beliefs be validated.

 

[Trailblazer]

Naturally I want to believe that He wouldn't say something that would hurt people's feelings given what Baha'u'llah and Shoghi E ffendi said about Him. It would be repudiating my faith in the Baha'i Faith to me in a sense.

I certainly don't think he said what he said knowing it was going to hurt people's feelings.
I don't think he knew but I think he should have known.

 

[Trailblazer]

The GriefShare group in NE Texas SUCKS! I haven't tried the one here in SW Ohio though. It may be better. It might be time for you to move, who knows?

You moved from NE Texas to SW Ohio? That is quite a distance. Mt good friend @Truthseeker lives in Ohio. I was raised in Indiana but I haven't been back there for many years.

I think I just lucked out finding the GriefShare group that I found. It was in a small country church and it was an easy drive for me since I live in the country and I don't like driving in the city. The facilitators make the group what it is and they were great. I also found it at just the right time, when I needed it. It was more than luck, it was my fate, so it was God.

Only God knows if I will move. If it is the will of God that I move that will happen but if not it won't. I accept it either way.

 

[Trailblazer]

Perhaps consider a retirement community with wooded walking trails, etc.

Thanks, but I don't think I would ever want to live in a retirement community because I don't like living that close to other people.
I guess I take after my mother. My mother lived alone in a rented condo right up until she went into the hospital three days before she died at age 93.

 

[Trailblazer]

Isn't nearly everyone's life more complicated than they would like for it to be?

No, after messaging numerous men on dating sites I don't think that is the case.
Some people have smooth happy lives, and everything goes as they planned. Just nobody in this car.

 

[Spice]

Thanks, but I don't think I would ever want to live in a retirement community because I don't like living that close to other people.
I guess I take after my mother. My mother lived alone in a rented condo right up until she went into the hospital three days before she died at age 93.

I don't mean sharing your home, but where the community is designated for older citizens. I have friends who just made that sort of move. But if you live in the country that wouldn't be an option more than likely. They moved more than 2 hours away to find their's.

 

[Trailblazer]

Mine have gotten really, really complicated multiple times. Try giving birth to a child with multiple birth defects and no medical insurance, no reliable transportation, nor household income. That's just one example. We could all play "one-up" continuously but it accomplish nothing. Life sometimes sucks. The End. <3 <3. <3

But it really is not that way for everyone, only for some of us. I know that because I worked in an office for 42 years and I knew a lot about my coworker's lives. Went to college, got married, raised the kids. It was smooth sailing and then it was off to retirement at age 65 to have fun.

 

[Spice]

No, after messaging numerous men on dating sites I don't think that is the case.
Some people have smooth happy lives, and everything goes as they planned. Just nobody in this car.

Well men on dating sites are going to make things sound easy-pease. LOL
Actually a lot, if not most, keep their ups and downs to themselves, I think.

The grass is never greener on the other side. That's just an optical illusion. My oldest has struggled with this illusion since kindergarten, if not before. Yes, he has most definitely had struggles his crew of friends have not, but he has also been spared some of the struggles they had to endure. I think the biggest difference is that hereditary disposition.

 

[Trailblazer]

I don't mean sharing your home, but where the community is designated for older citizens. I have friends who just made that sort of move. But if you live in the country that wouldn't be an option more than likely. They moved more than 2 hours away to find their's.

If I ever decided to move into a community it would definitely be one for older people.
There are some of those communities that are very rural in my area.

 

[Spice]

But it really is not that way for everyone, only for some of us. I know that because I worked in an office for 42 years and I knew a lot about my coworker's lives. Went to college, got married, raised the kids. It was smooth sailing and then it was off to retirement at age 65 to have fun.

I see it, too. I make a point not to dwell on it. And I make a concerted effort not to even notice. [Haha] But it's tough some days. Speaking of which, it's time for me to go spend an hour+ with a young woman who "hasn't a clue." LOL

 

[Trailblazer]

Well men on dating sites are going to make things sound easy-pease. LOL
Actually a lot, if not most, keep their ups and downs to themselves, I think.

Men might make things up but I don't think it is all made up. i think some people just have easier lives than other people.

The grass is never greener on the other side. That's just an optical illusion.

Sometimes the grass really is greener. If people say it is green I am not going to contradict them, I believe them. That's just the way it is.
But only God knows how green it will stay and what the result of greenness will be. I'd rather have these tests and difficulties if they make me a better person in the end, knowing that this life is only a small part of my total existence.

THE BENEFITS OF GOD TO MAN