Emotions vs. Obligations

[TashaN]

How do you balance between what you "want/wish" to do and what you "have/supposed" to do?

Any thoughts?

 

[morning-star]

that is easy do the things you need to do then do the things you want to do.....or do one needed thing then one 'want' thing.

if you have to pick only one, follow your and listen to your heart. think of all the pro's and con's that will come out of doing or not doing that thing, then decide on whatever your instincts tell you.

 

[Sunstone]

How do you balance between what you "want/wish" to do and what you "have/supposed" to do?

Any thoughts?

I think the most important thing you can do in this world is be true to yourself.

Sometimes that's not entirely possible, but it is usually more feasible than it might at first seem to be.

 

[Diogenes]

As you get older the pressing needs of duty only increase. This world makes many demands on your time. To displace the stress of this 'duty' when freedom is available often means seeking pleasure at any cost. Like your duties, the stakes will go up in this area as well. I don't think wants are usually a good thing-and there's never a proper balance to be found. The more wants are fulfilled, the more they multiply; and with much greater gravitas.

 

[TashaN]

that is easy do the things you need to do then do the things you want to do.....or do one needed thing then one 'want' thing.

if you have to pick only one, follow your and listen to your heart. think of all the pro's and con's that will come out of doing or not doing that thing, then decide on whatever your instincts tell you.

So the secret lies in our instinct! I see.

If you have used your instinct as you said, do you ever remember where it failed you , even once?

I think the most important thing you can do in this world is be true to yourself.

Sometimes that's not entirely possible, but it is usually more feasible than it might at first seem to be.

Wise words, and i really apperciate it, but do you think being true to yourself will save you if you are confused which one of these two roads is the right one?

Sometimes it's not about being true or not, but about decision to do something or not!

As you get older the pressing needs of duty only increase. This world makes many demands on your time. To displace the stress of this 'duty' when freedom is available often means seeking pleasure at any cost. Like your duties, the stakes will go up in this area as well. I don't think wants are usually a good thing-and there's never a proper balance to be found. The more wants are fulfilled, the more they multiply; and with much greater gravitas.

Do you believe that more 'wants' might generate greed?

 

[Buttercup]

As you get older the pressing needs of duty only increase. This world makes many demands on your time. To displace the stress of this 'duty' when freedom is available often means seeking pleasure at any cost. Like your duties, the stakes will go up in this area as well. I don't think wants are usually a good thing-and there's never a proper balance to be found. The more wants are fulfilled, the more they multiply; and with much greater gravitas.

There are some wise words here, Dio. I have only a small quibble with this portion of your statement:

"I don't think wants are usually a good thing-and there's never a proper balance to be found."

Even the most enlightened human cannot escape 'wants'. The key (for me anyway) is to ask myself if the want is reasonable and will do myself some good in the end, even if the end is temporary. This takes practice to discern but once a person gains self control over their 'wants', you can enjoy them fully while still attending to your duties. As you say, it's a balancing act.

 

[TashaN]

There are some wise words here, Dio. I have only a small quibble with this portion of your statement:

"I don't think wants are usually a good thing-and there's never a proper balance to be found."

Even the most enlightened human cannot escape 'wants'. The key (for me anyway) is to ask myself if the want is reasonable and will do myself some good in the end, even if the end is temporary. This takes practice to discern but once a person gains self control over their 'wants', you can enjoy them fully while still attending to your duties. As you say, it's a balancing act.

I wish to gain self control over my 'wants'. How can i do it? :sad4:

 

[Buttercup]

I wish to gain self control over my 'wants'. How can i do it? :sad4:

hehe. Ah, but the advice for controlling one's wants sounds so trite and corny. But, I'll try. Perhaps you could give us an example of some of your 'wants'? Do you feel comfortable doing so?

 

[Willamena]

How do you balance between what you "want/wish" to do and what you "have/supposed" to do?

Any thoughts?

I face this constantly with my diet. The line between them magically disappears for a moment, only to reappear sometime later. When faced with something I want to eat, "supposed to" swings over the line and merges to become one with "want to," effectively eliminating the problem altogether.

 

[TashaN]

hehe. Ah, but the advice for controlling one's wants sounds so trite and corny. But, I'll try. Perhaps you could give us an example of some of your 'wants'? Do you feel comfortable doing so?

Well, alot of things in my life.

By the way, before mentioning some other stuff, does chocolate and ice cream count?

 

[TashaN]

I face this constantly with my diet. The line between them magically disappears for a moment, only to reappear sometime later. When faced with something I want to eat, "supposed to" swings over the line and merges to become one with "want to," effectively eliminating the problem altogether.

Can you elaborate more please? I'm interested to know more about your skills in this area.

 

[Buttercup]

Well, alot of things in my life.

If you find yourself thinking about your 'wants' frequently or to the point where you're almost frantic to have them, obviously there's some spiritual imbalance going on. Your wants should not cause you to fret or lust after them or else as Dio pointed out, once you satisfy those wants....the addiction for more sets in. The goal is to feel satisfied, not wanting for more soon after.

Step back and think about what you 'want' for a bit. Don't give in to yourself immediately. Is what you want good for you? Is it reasonable? Is it necessary? Not all wants fit into those categories but it's a start. Teach yourself to be happy with nothing...to be content now, today.

Trite words as I expressed earlier but in practice, they work. Keep the questions coming!

By the way, before mentioning some other stuff, does chocolate and ice cream count?

Absolutely not. Those are freebies.

 

[TashaN]

If you find yourself thinking about your 'wants' frequently or to the point where you're almost frantic to have them, obviously there's some spiritual imbalance going on. Your wants should not cause you to fret or lust after them or else as Dio pointed out, once you satisfy those wants....the addiction for more sets in. The goal is to feel satisfied, not wanting for more soon after.

Step back and think about what you 'want' for a bit. Don't give in to yourself immediately. Is what you want good for you? Is it reasonable? Is it necessary? Not all wants fit into those categories but it's a start. Teach yourself to be happy with nothing...to be content now, today.

Trite words as I expressed earlier but in practice, they work. Keep the questions coming!

Youth is the biggest temptation ever.

Actually, sometimes i do the way you described, and some other time, i just say .. so whattttttttttttt ?! Just do it maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. Life is short and do whatever you want and don't think!

Absolutely not. Those are freebies.

What if you are really obsessed with them?

 

[TashaN]

What is the solution to this "spiritual imbalance" you mentioned?

 

[Peace]

How do you balance between what you "want/wish" to do and what you "have/supposed" to do?

Any thoughts?

Let me first clarify what I understand here from "want/wish", it is anything that has to do with myself and what myself wants; and "have/supposed" to do, it has to do with morality and what we believe "religion"
How do I balance between the two?
Whenever I want or wish something I always try to see if it agrees or contradicts with my religion, if it agrees so it's fine I follow it and try to realize it ; however if that wish contradicts with the principals of my religion then I give it up and try to forget it and let it fade away.

Peace

 

[lunamoth]

How do you balance between what you "want/wish" to do and what you "have/supposed" to do?

Any thoughts?

Set your sights on Love: compassion, kindness, mercy, forgiveness, feeding, healing, listening.

You'll fall short, but if you stay intentional about it you'll transcend the desire vs. duty problem.

 

[MoonWater]

First learn to diferentiate between a want and a need. This isn't as easy as it may seem and the line can get quite fuzzy more often than you think. But generally wants tend to be fluffy stuff that only give temporary satisfaction while needs may not give you satisfaction right now they are in the long run more beneficial. You shouldn't give up your wants all together but make sure you have control over them. A good way to do this in terms of material things is if there is something you want like say a nintendo wii then even if you have the money right now don't go out and buy it. Save a little from each paycheck in a seperate account and when you have enough there THEN go out and buy it. Now if only I could apply these same principles to my own life ^_^

 

[TashaN]

Let me first clarify what I understand here from "want/wish", it is anything that has to do with myself and what myself wants; and "have/supposed" to do, it has to do with morality and what we believe "religion"
How do I balance between the two?
Whenever I want or wish something I always try to see if it agrees or contradicts with my religion, if it agrees so it's fine I follow it and try to realize it ; however if that wish contradicts with the principals of my religion then I give it up and try to forget it and let it fade away.

Peace

That's great sis. I do agree with you.

Now think, if it didn't contradict with your principles, but you still have to make some serious decisions in your life, here comes the confusion sometimes.

 

[TashaN]

Set your sights on Love: compassion, kindness, mercy, forgiveness, feeding, healing, listening.

You'll fall short, but if you stay intentional about it you'll transcend the desire vs. duty problem.

Hmmm, i'm not sure if i understood that correctly. Can you elaborate please?

How that will help in deciding for me? Do you mean instinct?

 

[TashaN]

First learn to diferentiate between a want and a need. This isn't as easy as it may seem and the line can get quite fuzzy more often than you think. But generally wants tend to be fluffy stuff that only give temporary satisfaction while needs may not give you satisfaction right now they are in the long run more beneficial. You shouldn't give up your wants all together but make sure you have control over them. A good way to do this in terms of material things is if there is something you want like say a nintendo wii then even if you have the money right now don't go out and buy it. Save a little from each paycheck in a seperate account and when you have enough there THEN go out and buy it. Now if only I could apply these same principles to my own life ^_^

Indeed, we know alot of things, but we need wisdom and patience to apply them into our own lives.