Of course it's not a tail. Tails have other functional uses. Swatting flys, hanging from trees, balance, and so on.
The bottom of your spine has uses, but they are not anything like a tail so again why are you calling it something it's clearly not?
This is a really poor argument that relies on flawed definitions of vestigial as well as a lack of substantial evidence addressing what you have been informed about.
No one is claiming that there is no function for the remnants of tails in humans. You really have had to reach to come up with anything to demonstrate as function. Preventing accidental anal insertion has to be the funniest thing I have heard in a long time.
The definition of vestigial has been clarified many times for you.
A vestigial tail is, by the definition of vestigial, not being claimed to describe a fully functional tail capable of swatting flies, facilitation of hanging from trees, balance and so on.
I will have to agree with others. The best you seem to have is nuh uh.