Extroverted Advice

[Trailblazer]

They all talk about cars lol Even the 4 year old! If it gets too much, there's a couple semi offensive songs I can sing to get them off it...

All all your kids boys? That would explain it. I talk about cars with a couple of men I message on a dating site. Men love to talk about their cars.

You need flashy colors with an ad!

I did not want the staff to get upset, thinking I was using RF as a platform to find a man, as that might be against the rules.
I just found a new man on Zoosk, but it will probably turn out to be nothing, just like all the rest.

 

[JustGeorge]

All all your kids boys? That would explain it. I talk about cars with a couple of men I message on a dating site. Men love to talk about their cars.

I don't know. My dad sure never did.

I did not want the staff to get upset, thinking I was using RF as a platform to find a man, as that might be against the rules.
I just found a new man on Zoosk, but it will probably turn out to be nothing, just like all the rest.

lol I think it would be a shock if you were seriously sending out personal ads on RF...

 

[Trailblazer]

I don't know. My dad sure never did.

Neither did my dad or even my brother, since they were intellectuals.

 

[JustGeorge]

Neither did my dad or even my brother, since they were intellectuals.

LOL I can't say my dad was an intellectual... not even close...

But he didn't care a lot about cars.

He liked/likes to exercise, worry about his health, and mow the lawn.

 

[Trailblazer]

LOL I can't say my dad was an intellectual... not even close...

But he didn't care a lot about cars.

He liked/likes to exercise, worry about his health, and mow the lawn.

No, not all men are into cars. You just happened to luck out and get one who is.

 

[JustGeorge]

No, not all men are into cars. You just happened to luck out and get one who is.

I think it went from an annoying hobby to something that rubbed me the wrong way when he about got us all shot over a Honda civic.

That upset me for a long time.

 

[Trailblazer]

I think it went from an annoying hobby to something that rubbed me the wrong way when he about got us all shot over a Honda civic.

That upset me for a long time.

Shot?

 

[JustGeorge]

Shot?

Yes, shot.

Its a real long story... but after that incident, it went from "hearing about cars is annoying" to "oh, shush, would you!" I try to be polite and redirect him to one of the kids(sometimes I'll even call a kid in and tell them their dad wants to talk to him), but I think I'll be bitter about that one for some time to come. (I'm only human after all.)

 

[Brickjectivity]

I'm an extrovert.

Which makes me want to ask: are you offended by food? I am not asking if you are a picky eater. What I mean is, does food offend you? Did it ever hurt your feelings when you were a child? Did you cry when you had to eat something you didn't like? Would you be afraid to eat anything? I'm not asking if you wouldn't want to eat certain things.

 

[JustGeorge]

Which makes me want to ask: are you offended by food? I am not asking if you are a picky eater. What I mean is, does food offend you? Did it ever hurt your feelings when you were a child? Did you cry when you had to eat something you didn't like? Would you be afraid to eat anything? I'm not asking if you wouldn't want to eat certain things.

Yes. I used to bawl at my parents trying to make me eat my meat. Many a meal went that way... At 12, I finally accepted being grounded. My parents played 'chicken' with me, to see who would cave first. They did. Dad was convinced I'd die of malnutrition. Everyone else thought it was a phase. 26 years later, Dad is 90% vegetarian(he eats fish, steak on special occasions).

Sometimes I struggle with the fact that others eat meat(at least those that have the option not to, not all do have that option), but I believe very strongly in minding my own business, so I keep my commentary to myself. The only time I break from that is if I'm harassed for my choices, and then its more "Why are you bothering me? I don't bother you. Have you got an issue going on?" than to pick at their food choices(I understand these things are personal).

When I was about 4 or 5, my mom had a sandwich. It smelled interesting. I wanted a bite. She told me no, I wouldn't like it. It was an onion sandwich, and it would burn my mouth. I insisted. I took a bite. One of the few times Mom was right! I didn't like it! At all! I wouldn't touch an onion again until I started doing exploratory cooking. I tried cooking them down. Chopping them tiny. Using different kinds. At the time, I was attending a weekly Buddhist Path group. I went in and told the guys how I was trying to overcome my dislike for onions, to be neutral to the flavor, and not take it personally. One of the old guys said "I don't know... I think you oughta accept that you don't like onions." So now when people badger me about my dislike, I just tell them "Ralph said I don't have to eat those anymore."

As to fear, I do get a little nervous that there might be an onion tucked into a pizza, or that I'll find mayo on my Burger King sandwich. These things are correctable, but still make me uneasy. As to all out fear, I don't think I'd want to eat bugs. I had a coworker that used to eat chocolate covered grasshoppers... I wouldn't do that.

 

[Revoltingest]

All all your kids boys? That would explain it. I talk about cars with a couple of men I message on a dating site. Men love to talk about their cars.

I did not want the staff to get upset, thinking I was using RF as a platform to find a man, as that might be against the rules.
I just found a new man on Zoosk, but it will probably turn out to be nothing, just like all the rest.

It's possible that a drug, Despondex, might help cope with extroversion.

BTW, Dr Alman Wei in the video is portrayed by my brother in law.
(Alas, he is no longer with us.)

 

[JustGeorge]

It's possible that a drug, Despondex, might help cope with extroversion.

BTW, Dr Alman Wei in the video is portrayed by my brother in law.
(Alas, he is no longer with us.)

My flavor is more the jerk that sits in the corner and makes rude observances every so often. I don't do hugs.

The secret is, I actually prefer company around... I've heard introverts 'recharge' with alone time, extroverts recharge around others. By that standard, I'm an extrovert(I feel like crap when I'm alone too long).

The cats don't care about my rude observances, sadly. Well, maybe Swatty does. But other other nine... nope.

 

[Trailblazer]

I've heard introverts 'recharge' with alone time, extroverts recharge around others. By that standard, I'm an extrovert(I feel like crap when I'm alone too long).

I have heard that too and by that standard I am an introvert. I rush home to the cats after a meeting with a bunch of people and I do not feel like crap when I am alone a long time. I am alone almost all the time, except for a few hours a week, and just being alone doesn't bother me...
Of course I am not really alone since I have all the nice folks to talk to on RF.

 

[Curious George]

Its a sound idea, but I've only got one friend(considering only people I interact with in person). She does come over once or twice a week.

I sometimes call my sister, but she works a lot.

I feel I've exhausted my social resources to their fullest potential, that's why I'm hoping to change my mindset.

If there are other RF extroverts, there is a voice channel in the discord. Perhaps a different discord. My significant other is extroverted whereas I am extremely introverted, I can socialize fine but it takes a lot of energy. For her COVID was a nightmare, for me, I kept thinking that society would be so much better like this.

Even Zoom meetings were insufficient for my significant other. She needed f2f interaction with more than just a few people.

So while discord and phone calls may help, they alone will likely not suffice. I would suggest plotting your schedule and creating times where you can walk in parks that have other people, take a adult ed class, there are some apps like meet up, and keep your ear to the ground for larger gatherings like festivals and fairs. Finally, perhaps you can stage some events for your children, their friends, and their friends parents. Other parents often want to socialize their children and if extroverted would probably enjoy such things and if introverted would probably see the expended energy as a worthwhile investment in their children’s socialization.

 

[JustGeorge]

If there are other RF extroverts, there is a voice channel in the discord. Perhaps a different discord. My significant other is extroverted whereas I am extremely introverted, I can socialize fine but it takes a lot of energy. For her COVID was a nightmare, for me, I kept thinking that society would be so much better like this.

Even Zoom meetings were insufficient for my significant other. She needed f2f interaction with more than just a few people.

So while discord and phone calls may help, they alone will likely not suffice. I would suggest plotting your schedule and creating times where you can walk in parks that have other people, take a adult ed class, there are some apps like meet up, and keep your ear to the ground for larger gatherings like festivals and fairs. Finally, perhaps you can stage some events for your children, their friends, and their friends parents. Other parents often want to socialize their children and if extroverted would probably enjoy such things and if introverted would probably see the expended energy as a worthwhile investment in their children’s socialization.

I remember pondering how other than disrupting the way I shopped and canceling my gym membership, Covid had almost no impact on my social life. It was the same before, the same during, and the same after. I think the only thing that may have changed is Dad got phobic of his family, and is less likely to spend time with the grandkids(that continues).

My location is a huge barrier. I'm not rural, but there isn't a lot that goes on here. I read a review of the city from a traveler's point of view once that said "If you like getting drunk, this place has good night life, but there isn't much going on here other than that." It was... accurate.

With the kids, things are not always real easy. My oldest is very introverted(he's just about 17). My middle one has some disabilities(autism, speech apraxia), and if I take him somewhere, its taking him somewhere. There is no socializing with other parents, its simply following and directing. His behavior has come a long way, but he still needs constant supervision, lest he walk away, stick his hands in a public tank, or grab someone's stuff and go through it. Paired with his 4 year old brother, who is generally agreeable but very energetic, taking them to anything is a challenge, and all my attention is devoted to them.

I did try a parenting group when my middle son was young... LOL that was a disaster! While one or two of the other parents liked us, I think there was a decision from some to exclude us. I remember showing up to an event and one woman's eyes getting big and saying "what are you doing here?" I told her so and so invited me. Nervous smile. Scurry away. My son didn't interact 'normally'(and that seemed to upset some of them), and I was weird, too. (There seemed to be a lot of common interests involving pop culture and entertainment that while I was happy to hear about, didn't actually share, and I think that made some not real fond of me.) We tried some stuff and the library, too, and while that went better and I don't mind taking the kids to, there really isn't much of a social fulfillment(too busy with kids).

 

[Trailblazer]

If there are other RF extroverts, there is a voice channel in the discord. Perhaps a different discord. My significant other is extroverted whereas I am extremely introverted, I can socialize fine but it takes a lot of energy. For her COVID was a nightmare, for me, I kept thinking that society would be so much better like this.

I am also introverted so I was thinking the same thing.

 

[Trailblazer]

I remember pondering how other than disrupting the way I shopped and canceling my gym membership, Covid had almost no impact on my social life. It was the same before, the same during, and the same after.

Me too.
What social life?

 

[JustGeorge]

Me too.
What social life?

My husband actually managed to befriend a neighbor. She'd walk by and compliment all his work with the yard(he loves flowers). But then the lock down ended, and he went back to work, and the yard grew over(its not anything I could maintain, too busy with kids). Once the yard wasn't pretty anymore, she'd just snub him if she saw him out. Strange lady...

 

[Trailblazer]

Even Zoom meetings were insufficient for my significant other. She needed f2f interaction with more than just a few people.

I cannot even imagine that. I would be happy just to have a husband again, and when I had one I never needed interaction with anyone else, except on RF, but if I do not remarry I can get by alone. I don't really need a husband for company as much as for help around the house and yard and with cars and things.

 

[Trailblazer]

My husband actually managed to befriend a neighbor. She'd walk by and compliment all his work with the yard(he loves flowers). But then the lock down ended, and he went back to work, and the yard grew over(its not anything I could maintain, too busy with kids). Once the yard wasn't pretty anymore, she'd just snub him if she saw him out. Strange lady...

I am friendly with my neighbors when I see them, but I rarely see them, except sometimes if they are outside while I am walking down the long gravel road that goes to the main street.