When I originally looked up articles on the book to see why it's so popular, they pretty much all said it was abusive.
Probably the most relevant one, though, is Sophie Morgan, author of Diary of a Submissive.
'I like submissive sex but Fifty Shades is not about fun: it's about abuse' | Society | The Observer
"BDSM might be mainstream now, but it has a new PR problem. I blame Christian Grey."
While Sophie Morgan wrote her feelings about Fifty Shades and tries....sort of....to make the distinction between BDSM as she herself is a sub and how she sees domestic abuse in the book, I do not share her views. I will explain further in a second.
It was originally written as fan fiction of Twilight without the supernatural aspects. Grey is Edward and Steele is Bella.
Hunh. Imagine that.
I don't have an issue with BDSM in and of itself.
Using Secretary as the reference since that's the one I actually saw, Maggie Gylaanhall's character consistently inflicts self harm on herself and demonstrates a debilitating lack of social skills before meeting the dominant guy and becoming his submissive partner. It's consent, but is it informed?
Secretary was a movie hubbie and I watched and were both instantaneously aroused and fascinated by it. Lee Holloway was inflicting self-harm, and she was using it like most cutters do - to derive a sense of control and pleasure from both the pain and from the healing. Edward Grey (James Spader and love the name match with the Dom from Fifty Shades) sees her doing this to herself, and takes it upon himself to, in his own way, offer his care and guidance.
So he tells her what to wear, how to speak, etc. She complies, and when she doesn't do as she's told, she's punished. Which she enjoys as is made very clear in the film.
Hubbie and I found some of the devices used - like the spreader bar in the very beginning of the film - and the storyline alluring. There is a sense that pain should never be a part of a relationship, and that being submissive means that one has lost all his or her power. Where I disagree is that pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin, and that pain - just like pleasure - can be a powerful aphrodisiac. I also disagree that being a Sub means that the power is all in the Domme's hands. It isn't. The Sub has all the power, and the movie and the book exemplify this pretty well, I think, to a mainstream audience.
Descriptions of this one were basically like, this is a 22 year old shy virgin with an ipod but no computer (?) who's first relationship is with a 27 year old billionaire with micromanagement control issues.
Now I'm not criticizing your choice but you had to have known this book is controversial.
Oh sure I know. But I didn't want to read it precisely because it's so pop culture right now. I knew about some of it, and I didn't want to read something just because everyone else was reading it.
But I finally started reading the series because I wanted my friends to get off my back. A couple of them know about my preferences, which is why they wanted me to read it. I've been telling them that the writing itself is sophomoric, and that I feel 18 years old reading it, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Twilight became extremely popular and was criticized rather broadly for being abusive and obsessive. (Edward sneaking into Bella's house to watch her sleep, them wanting to kill themselves if they were alone, etc.) Then 50 Shades, as fan fiction of Twilight, becomes extremely popular with a different demographic, and is criticized as also being abusive and obsessive.
I thought Edward was weird, and Bella was stupid. But I credit the book for introducing a supernatural teen love story to a mainstream audience, and I read the series to see what happens at the end. I give it a C grade. My teen daughter absolutely hated it and stopped reading after the first book.
I failed to see the abuse, but obsession I could see. Then again, when people fall in love, I think there can be a fine line between love, infatuation, and obsession when hormones take over the body.
So I dunno, I'm kind of surprised at what books are becoming so popular with two generations of women, and that they're both connected under the Twilight concept. I figured I'd reply in the thread because you seem knowledgeable about subject matter related to this so maybe there's something I'm not seeing.
Could be. Keeping this PG-13: I tend to view orgasm as a potent mix of pain and pleasure. I am also fascinated by the concept of loving somebody "so much that it hurts". As I'd said before, I see pain and pleasure being two sides of the same coin of sensory experience. And I appreciate your thoughts on the matter as well as asking for my input.
Sophie's review of Fifty Shades did mention something I can agree with - Madonna, among other artists, once tried to introduce BDSM years ago to mainstream audiences. It just never caught on and remained on the fringe. Fifty Shades has touched on something with the public that hasn't been done before, and that is a love story that offers sado-masochism as an often-visited avenue for the couples intimate moments.
Taboo turned to kink which turned unexpectedly to mainstream. I, too, find it strange I'm seeing this in my lifetime. I'm used to being on the outside looking in.
