Ha, thanks Trey. However, after my last post I think I may have found what I'm looking for. I say "may" because I've not fully decided yet but it feels right.
After posting my previous entry I bought a book after work the same day called
Wicca for Beginners by Thea Sabin.
Let me preface this by saying that in my reading and research Wicca was the religion that spoke to me most next to LHP. There are parts of LHP I don't agree with. I looked into myself and I honestly don't believe we can become Gods. I believe we can become
great, but that is a very different thing. Also, while I do think that night and darkness can be a source of beauty and inspiration, I don't view it in the evil/ threatening/ Satanic way that seems so prevalent in LHP. Basically, I think LHP leans a bit too close the "dark side" of dark, which makes me feel uncomfortable. Disillusioned, I picked up this book to learn about what spoke to me most after LHP.
And I've not been able to put it down.
Most of what I'd read on Wicca previously had been on-line or in books discussing various religions. This is the first Wicca-specific book I've come across (the joys of living in a small town) and it goes into great detail about the religion.
While I've never really considered myself "connected" to the Earth I've always had an appreciation for it and I find the beauty of the world, especially on overcast, stormy or foggy/cloudy days to be absolutely inspiring and many of my artworks and writings have been influenced by that. Also, I've always believed that everything in existence was connected. All of this, according to this book, is essential to Wicca.
Another great aspect of Wicca is that although they have gods and goddesses they don't view them as Christians do their God - an all powerful being dictating essential dogma and rules of living. Rather, in Wicca the God and Goddess are two sides of the same coin, interconnected, both separate and whole at the same time, an idea I really respond to. Also, Wicca lets you express yourself, your individuality and find your own spiritual path, something else I respond to.
While reading the book I found myself really agreeing with what was said and thinking "yes, this really makes sense. This I can believe." Honestly, it's the first time I've read about a religion and not at any point thought "whoa, hang on, that's not right..." as I've done so many times in the past.
Apparently, Wicca is the fastest growing religion in the US. I didn't know this until I read it in the book's introduction. That is not why I'm thinking of turning to Wicca. I live in NSW, Australia in a small coal-mining town. Christianity is pretty much the only religion here. I've honestly never knowingly met a Wiccan. So I'm not doing this because it's the "cool thing" to do. I don't do things unless I really believe in them, which is why I kept looking even after I found LHP. And I'll probably keep looking even if I decide Wicca is for me.
At this moment Wicca makes the most sense so I will see where it leads me. I've found you can't really rush these things, but if you feel a connection you should go for it. I have and I am.
Wish me luck...
